Ok Good Posted December 31, 2013 Posted December 31, 2013 So I met this guy and we had an awesome first date (lasted 10 hours)! He has kids, and his custody situation for New Years was alittle fuzzy anyway, we talked yesterday and sorta of set up tentative plans for New Years if he arranged his custody right now, its like the night before New Years and I haven't heard from him I'm thinking that if he asks me out now, I have to say no cuz I shouldn't look too available or desperate... what do you think?
the_entertainer1 Posted December 31, 2013 Posted December 31, 2013 If it were me, I'd call and ask him! (Then again, I'm not a game-player). (Then again, if you're seeing a guy who has kids, perhaps you shouldn't be playing games either ...) 2
what_a_blonde Posted December 31, 2013 Posted December 31, 2013 You can call or send a follow-up text that won't sound desperate. Just something friendly that states "hey! just checkin up on tomorrow, did you still want to hang?" or something of that nature. This way if he's changed his mind, he can say no... and at least he's being honest. And also, this way if he HASN'T changed his mind, you get your answer! I've found that all men (even good ones) can be bad about getting back to women, even if they are very interested in the woman and are very new back into the dating scene. Many will argue with me on that.. and yes... I agree that any man who wants a woman will make time and move mountains to show her... however there are also exceptions to that and it depends on the person. 2
gaius Posted December 31, 2013 Posted December 31, 2013 Who brought up the idea of spending New Years together? If it was you don't bother, if it was him give him a nudge in one way or another. Start making alternate plans either way though just in case. 1
freetolove Posted December 31, 2013 Posted December 31, 2013 interesting, i'm in a similar delimma except my guys just asked me. i ended up turning it down because it was the day before.
Author Ok Good Posted December 31, 2013 Author Posted December 31, 2013 I've found that all men (even good ones) can be bad about getting back to women, even if they are very interested in the woman and are very new back into the dating scene. Many will argue with me on that.. and yes... I agree that any man who wants a woman will make time and move mountains to show her... however there are also exceptions to that and it depends on the person. this ^ is what I'm sorta going on and I never heard from him yesterday... and I just didn't feel like I should have to nudge him now its the day of...ugh!
Author Ok Good Posted December 31, 2013 Author Posted December 31, 2013 Who brought up the idea of spending New Years together? If it was you don't bother, if it was him give him a nudge in one way or another. Start making alternate plans either way though just in case. on our date I initially had asked him whether he was free for new years and he said he wasn't then when we spoke a couple days later he was asking about when he could see me this week and then the whole new years custody confusion came up I personally think he should have contacted me yesterday even if it was just to say hi.. but I so want to be careful not to be unreasonable in what to expect from a guy it is so helpful to hear peoples' views on this, thanks!
d0nnivain Posted December 31, 2013 Posted December 31, 2013 I'd check in with him to see if he's got plans to see you. You are entitled to an answer. If it's no, act like it's no big deal & go do whatever you were going to do anyway.
Author Ok Good Posted December 31, 2013 Author Posted December 31, 2013 I'd check in with him to see if he's got plans to see you. You are entitled to an answer. If it's no, act like it's no big deal & go do whatever you were going to do anyway. I think my answer is his silence..
d0nnivain Posted December 31, 2013 Posted December 31, 2013 I think my answer is his silence.. You are making assumptions. You may very well be right but isn't it better to check?
Author Ok Good Posted December 31, 2013 Author Posted December 31, 2013 You are making assumptions. You may very well be right but isn't it better to check? lol! yeah i'm good at making assumptions, bad fault of mine! at this point though, I just feel weird contacting him..
Zahara Posted December 31, 2013 Posted December 31, 2013 lol! yeah i'm good at making assumptions, bad fault of mine! at this point though, I just feel weird contacting him.. He knows you are interested in spending New Years with him, and the ball is in his court because he knows it all depends on his availability. I would wait for him to reach out. Make other plans and don't revolve it around him. 1
Author Ok Good Posted December 31, 2013 Author Posted December 31, 2013 He knows you are interested in spending New Years with him, and the ball is in his court because he knows it all depends on his availability. I would wait for him to reach out. Make other plans and don't revolve it around him. yes, thank you, this ^ is my plan..
Author Ok Good Posted December 31, 2013 Author Posted December 31, 2013 Do you have evidence that he is single? what evidence should I have? lol but obviously he could be dating others..we didn't get into that on our first date.
beach Posted December 31, 2013 Posted December 31, 2013 what evidence should I have? lol but obviously he could be dating others..we didn't get into that on our first date. Search your areas public court records and see when his divorce was filed and if it's been finalized. If nothing else it will show when the custody agreement happened - hopefully along with the divorce - or not. In the US - you should be able to access it online through superior court records in your county. And it's not funny - if he turns out to be still married. But you need to know more info to determine facts.
Author Ok Good Posted January 1, 2014 Author Posted January 1, 2014 Search your areas public court records and see when his divorce was filed and if it's been finalized. If nothing else it will show when the custody agreement happened - hopefully along with the divorce - or not. In the US - you should be able to access it online through superior court records in your county. And it's not funny - if he turns out to be still married. But you need to know more info to determine facts. thank you that was helpful advice.. yeah, i checked, he's divorced
beach Posted January 1, 2014 Posted January 1, 2014 thank you that was helpful advice.. yeah, i checked, he's divorced How long ago was the D finalized?
Pretty.in.Pink Posted January 1, 2014 Posted January 1, 2014 Child custody agreements are fairly detailed about which parent has the child on what holiday. Most dads know "their" days. It's a little surprising that he's "fuzzy" on this days before the holiday in question. Good luck. 1
happywithlife Posted January 1, 2014 Posted January 1, 2014 Even though all child custody paperwork spells out holiday schedules, real life can easily lead to a person not knowing if they have their kids on a holiday. Maybe he offered to take the kids b/c his ex wanted to go out and the final plans hadn't been confirmed or maybe the new year is not a scheduled holiday but he asked to have the kids and it wasn't finalized yet. I think the OP shouldn't be afraid to ask the guy to firm up plans as long as she is casual and not clingy.
Author Ok Good Posted January 1, 2014 Author Posted January 1, 2014 Ok he finally contacted me and I've decided not to be a princess about him not getting in touch with me earlier so we're going out! though I sure don't like his silence 2
Author Ok Good Posted January 1, 2014 Author Posted January 1, 2014 How long ago was the D finalized? almost 2 years ago...
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