Onmymind Posted December 31, 2013 Posted December 31, 2013 (edited) It's been a little over 2 months since I last spoke with my ex. We dated 15 months and she ended things when I was sincere and honest about the things about her that upset and worried me. She began to let herself go and I sincerely explained how it was hurting me because I try hard to be perfect for her. Before my spill I had made sure to find out if she's depressed or okay, not just immediately complained. I did EVERYTHING I could to make that relationship work. I guess sometimes people just can't love anyone if they do not love themselves... Anyways, the point of my thread is to share that I've been in very consistent and strict NC for 2+ months and I've made no attempts to talk to her, or her friends, or check her FB or do anything...She's also made no effort either. Her friend messages me on FB every now and then to chat, but I keep it very short, sweet, simple and down to earth. My feelings for my ex have changed dramatically since the break-up, but alas, I still love her and miss our immense plethora of memories together. She was the first woman who "Showed me the world" and really loved me immensely, or at least, did. It's kind of sad and beautiful how I can take everything she taught me and bring that intellect and knowledge into someone Else's life. I am sad too because I just don't think I'm ready to date yet, there is this nice girl who likes me a lot but I can't help but not feel the same way. I've taken her out a couple times and once with friends and had a good time, but I'm also not doing anything to emotionally/sexually lead her on. I guess ultimately I am just having trouble letting go of 2013, the memories of everything is coursing through me again, but in a more healthy way. I know I was an amazing man to her, I did nothing wrong. I didn't cheat, lie, steal, use, or anything.. I worshiped my ex..we did everything for each other and was ALWAYS there when we needed each other...except at the end. She wasn't there for me at the end...I was strong for her as much as I could be, for an emotional and sensitive man. I was with her every damn moment outside work and being with my band. Anyways, I know this year has taught me years worth of lessons, I know I am a MUCH better man from it, but I can't but help wonder how much I'll be able to let go crossing into 2014. I know it's just a goddamn number, but it's a symbol of our chances to replenish our morals, a chance to reanimate our goals for an amazing life to come, the time to thrive from our paid dues... How are you all feeling? How do I sound for a super emotional guy who was beyond the meaning of devastated when my relationship ended? Edited December 31, 2013 by Onmymind
Fangorn Posted December 31, 2013 Posted December 31, 2013 Hear Hear! I know exactly how you feel dude, we seem to share a similar story. I understand now that my ex is a vindictive, lying and insecure little whore with some deep rooted problems but I still miss the good times we had... but then I remember what a vile person she truly is. I think deep down I'm angriest at myself for believing the lies and wasting so much of my life. 2013 has sucked balls for me, I've sunk to the lowest lows so I've resolved to absolutely beast mode through 2014 and make it my bitch. Well done for the strong NC though and remember things will take time, one day you'll be able to feel passion and love with someone else and they will be far superior in everyway to your ex and a New Year is a perfect start to a new life. Stay strong brother, everything is going to be alright. 1
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