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compartmentalizing their real feelings during R?


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Posted
ZMM - if that is the case, h should have got over his OW in 18months. The a was 6 months. And I think he did. First thing he said to me when he confessed was that he loved her but when i asked if he was leaving he said no because he loved me too. After 18 months he said one day 'I am not sure I ever really loved her. I guess it was just have been MLC fuelled infatuation'.

 

Absence and facing the consequnces of your actions works wonders in the end.

 

What is MLC?

Posted

My xMM worked in a profession that required compartmentalization, so he was well practiced at it. Lucky me.:(

Posted (edited)
I personally could not have lived with a man while he was mourning the loss of his AP.

 

That would have been excruciating beyond the pale and I would be divorced today.

 

So I threw him out to be with his AP, wished them well, and refused to discuss us at any turn.

 

It seemed to be the last thing he wanted and no one was more shocked then I.

 

I was also shocked to learn he NEVER told her that.

 

I'm sure he had feelings for her. I'm sure he also lied to her almost as much as he lied to me.

 

But I refused to be anyone's default choice, whether married or not. And I think the way he treated her was despicable and cowardly and told him so.

 

 

Likewise Sparks.......

 

 

I too was surprised to discover that my husband had consistently told his other woman, in the face of her repeated demands that he do so, he would not leave his wife. Ever.

 

 

Did he pine for her? Not on your nelly! He was relieved to be relieved of his 'double life'. Months after the hard work of our recovery began, he would repeatedly say, when I questioned various aspects of his affair, that he didn't think of her at all until I mentioned it.

 

 

Was he telling me the truth then? Absolutely. My husband was never comfortable with lies, as odd as that sounds.

Edited by experiencethedevine
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