Author CDubs464 Posted December 31, 2013 Author Posted December 31, 2013 Thanks for the encouragement. I know you read the whole story last week and it's been helpful having your support... I can feel some strength and resilience returning. So glad I found this site full of people who understand and support. 1
Fangorn Posted December 31, 2013 Posted December 31, 2013 Thank you for your encouragement to maintain. Any suggestions on how to knock someone off their pedestal? I'd love to kick him down and am embarrassed that for whatever reason... I can't. I've seen his potential (not just imagined it). I know he has realized it and can consistently realize it with self work and effort. I do look at his hurtful and selfish actions and am able to realize that his actions are the real him... but it is still... bizarrely distorted... it must be... why else would i want him back? Think how awful you feel, that's his fault, the abandonment and feeling of being replaced, his fault, mentally screwing with you, his fault. Realise and accept that you've imagined this idealised and false version of him and though it's hard to let go of, he isn't that person any more and likely never was. Write lists if you have to, of all his negative traits, then of all the bad things he's done to you. Take some time out, sleep, cry, scream into the pillow but being to realise and accept he isn't the person you think he is. 1
LovelyDaze Posted December 31, 2013 Posted December 31, 2013 I'm so glad you are open to everyone's advice and fighting hard to stay NC. Just think, if you broke NC and did message your ex, you will be helping him HURT YOU AGAIN. You don't deserve that. The very BEST way to look great whether he comes back to you or not is to stay NC. He will (at least) respect you because you will not have been the crazy ex-girlfriend sending him goofy love texts, letters, notes, memories, gifts, etc. Thing is, if this ex DID have an emotional affair with the girl he is currently with now, I'm uncertain why you would want him back. The last thing you want to do is make, coerce, plead, insist, manipulate, beg, and/or bargain someone into being back in a relationship with you. Let him go. Grieve the broken pieces. And if he does come back, don't be quick to welcome him with open arms or I can promise you will be right back wondering why he left again. Just the sheer foundation of how your ex and the other girl started is more than likely going to fail as well. Don't interfere. That's now THEIR business. Just focus on you and your healing process. Someone will see the beauty of your worth soon enough. 1
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