Bubi2 Posted December 30, 2013 Posted December 30, 2013 It has now been 6 weeks today from my boyfriend broke up with me. I thought it would have been getting easier by this stage but its not I dont know how I have but I have been strong enough not to make any contact. During these 6 weeks I have received 2 very heartfelt messages from him telling me how sorry he was and that he will always love me, then another one saying in his heart of hearts he knows he has lost me and that he has blew it bigtime. He was playing a game with me and thought I would run back as I always had but this time it has backfired. Im just finding it so difficult. I have no doubt in my mind the love that I had for him as we were together for 8 years. Im just an emotional mess
headinthecloud Posted December 31, 2013 Posted December 31, 2013 I really feel for you, Bubi. The wounds are fresh and any contact from him right now sets you right back to day 1. This is why NC is so important, it allows you to heal. The last thing you need in your life is a partner who gambles with your heart by playing childish games. You will need at least 4-5mos of strict NC to regain your emotional balance. If he really wants you back in his life then he needs to grow up, and he'll need time on his own to do that. He will also pursue you even if you don't respond if he truly loves you and wants you back. Until then, focus only on you. In the meantime, fake happiness and continue going through the motions of life like a zombie for another 6-8 weeks. Heartbreak is awful, but reconnecting with your ex before you're ready is worse. Take it 1 day at a time. It's a cripling roller coaster of emotions right now so be kind to yourself and patient. Time is what you need right now. The wounds are still too fresh. Be strong. This too shall pass.
Author Bubi2 Posted December 31, 2013 Author Posted December 31, 2013 I really feel for you, Bubi. The wounds are fresh and any contact from him right now sets you right back to day 1. This is why NC is so important, it allows you to heal. The last thing you need in your life is a partner who gambles with your heart by playing childish games. You will need at least 4-5mos of strict NC to regain your emotional balance. If he really wants you back in his life then he needs to grow up, and he'll need time on his own to do that. He will also pursue you even if you don't respond if he truly loves you and wants you back. Until then, focus only on you. In the meantime, fake happiness and continue going through the motions of life like a zombie for another 6-8 weeks. Heartbreak is awful, but reconnecting with your ex before you're ready is worse. Take it 1 day at a time. It's a cripling roller coaster of emotions right now so be kind to yourself and patient. Time is what you need right now. The wounds are still too fresh. Be strong. This too shall pass. Thanks for your kind words. There are times when Ive felt so much better, but I guess when we are approaching yet another time when you want to be with the person ye love, and arent, its upsetting. As I always said to him, actions speak louder than words. Perhaps if he had of made some grand gesture like making the effort (he cant drive) to make his way to my home to let me know how he actually felt, the outcome may have been different. I dont think i have ever met a man that is so totally emotionally detached or devoid of affection. It was the biggest issue I had with out relationship and explained this to him on numerous occasions. Its only now that we are no longer together that he is apologising for not showing me enough affection. As I always say, there is no point closing the stable door when the horse has bolted.
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