slightly_unusual Posted December 30, 2013 Posted December 30, 2013 see im sort of the kind who is very target focused and If I want something I go for it , I know you have to be more nuanced when it comes to romance but im a passionate guy who likes to let a woman know how I feel I joined a dating site six months ago and while I enjoyed the experience , i only saw two women more than once and both of those eventually decided they didn't want to see me anymore due to unresolved issues re_ relatively recent break up,s , i realised pretty soon afterwards that we were not right for each other anyway , i also ended it with a woman who was into me , she wanted to move far too quick despite the lack of real chemistry , she has a kid so i think she was looking for a daddy i began chatting to this girl online two months ago but we only met up three and a half weeks ago for the first time , she made an impression on me , i met her mom after our second date ( its complicated but her car broke down and i hate to drive her home ) and everything felt very comfortable and relaxed , she was always happy to hear me when i called her on the phone ( twice per week or so ) between dates and never delayed in replying to texts , in fact she initiated plenty of our short but sweet text sessions i sent her a naughty but nice e card on xmas eve and she replied saying " it was lovely and i was so sweet " , i sent it to her as she has a wonderful sense of humour and is a bit of a comedy nerd , card was joke laden but the xmas message was there along with a romantic element anyway , we had a forth date in her home town two nights ago , we ended up going to bed together but she disclosed to me that she was a virgin and wasn't ready to go the whole way , i said that was fine , we were intimate for the next two hours without anything too sexual and she told me i made her feel really special , i replied that i wanted her in my life but i stopped short of asking her to be my girlfriend for fear it would spook her i drove her home around 2 pm and she told me to cancel that internet sating site sub while grinning ive told her i like her , that i want to get to know her better , she sends me texts on a regular basis saying that she has been thinking about me and i tell her " shes in my thoughts as well " , now i know its pretty soon but why always follow the rulebook would a fifth date ( this weekend ) be too soon to ask her to be my girlfriend ?
d0nnivain Posted December 30, 2013 Posted December 30, 2013 I think you are setting a good pace. The worst she can say is not yet but if you don't ask, she can't say that she would love to. There is no specific # of dates. However, conversations about exclusivity should precede sex, imho.
Author slightly_unusual Posted December 30, 2013 Author Posted December 30, 2013 I think you are setting a good pace. The worst she can say is not yet but if you don't ask, she can't say that she would love to. There is no specific # of dates. However, conversations about exclusivity should precede sex, imho. i might be waiting for sex for a while but i don't care , this is something different , i do like her a lot , i told her i wanted her in my life the other night and that ive no interest in that dating site anymore , perhaps that was code enough for the " exclusivity " label ?
somedude81 Posted December 30, 2013 Posted December 30, 2013 I was the one who brought up the BF/GF thing with my ex, and she was the one who ended it. She told me that it made her feel guilty that I liked her more than she liked me. With the next girl, I'm going to go for sex as normal, but let her decide when she wants to have labels. I'd also let her be the first person to say I love you.
Author slightly_unusual Posted December 31, 2013 Author Posted December 31, 2013 I was the one who brought up the BF/GF thing with my ex, and she was the one who ended it. She told me that it made her feel guilty that I liked her more than she liked me. With the next girl, I'm going to go for sex as normal, but let her decide when she wants to have labels. I'd also let her be the first person to say I love you. I told her I liked her on our last nite and wanted her in my life , " love " is not close to being something I bring up and like you I think il let her do it , a girl can say I love you and its not the end of things , if a guy does it and its not reciprocated , things have more or less ended
BrandonMarshall Posted December 31, 2013 Posted December 31, 2013 I told her I liked her on our last nite and wanted her in my life , " love " is not close to being something I bring up and like you I think il let her do it , a girl can say I love you and its not the end of things , if a guy does it and its not reciprocated , things have more or less ended sounds like shes ready for the relationship. I always look for signs and hints that she was to commit to a relationship... not exactly the number of dates.... but from what you said it seems like she wants it.
somedude81 Posted December 31, 2013 Posted December 31, 2013 sounds like shes ready for the relationship. I always look for signs and hints that she was to commit to a relationship... not exactly the number of dates.... but from what you said it seems like she wants it. That may be so, but I thinks she should be the one to bring it up. He should keep doing things as normal until she wants to have the talk.
Author slightly_unusual Posted December 31, 2013 Author Posted December 31, 2013 im seeing this girl tomorrow , I hadn't planned for it as I thought we were meeting at the weekend , turns out she has to work all weekend , was her who suggested a low key lunch tomorrow , its in a town half way between where we both live , I guess it cant be sparks during every date , perhaps women just need to see you sometimes
Pretty.in.Pink Posted December 31, 2013 Posted December 31, 2013 i drove her home around 2 pm and she told me to cancel that internet sating site sub while grinning She told you she's ready to be in a relationship with you. The ball is in your court to confirm you're ready too and ask for an exclusive relationship. but why always follow the rulebook What rule book is this? Are there "rules" somewhere? My boyfriend alluded to commitment in phone calls before our third date, then asked me to be his girlfriend on our third date. Boom. Done.
the_entertainer1 Posted January 1, 2014 Posted January 1, 2014 With the next girl, I'm going to go for sex as normal, but let her decide when she wants to have labels. I'd also let her be the first person to say I love you. No offence, but from a girl's perspective I find this really cowardly. Perhaps you've been shaped by past experiences, but if a guy couldn't be brave enough to express his feelings first, then I wouldn't stick around for long.
somedude81 Posted January 1, 2014 Posted January 1, 2014 No offence, but from a girl's perspective I find this really cowardly. Perhaps you've been shaped by past experiences, but if a guy couldn't be brave enough to express his feelings first, then I wouldn't stick around for long. Of course I've been shaped by past experiences. I expressed all my feelings first, wanted to be BF/GF first and she never had any doubts about our relationship and she suddenly dumped me one day, telling me that I liked her too much. If I held back in expressing my feelings, maybe she would still be with me............
Eternal Sunshine Posted January 1, 2014 Posted January 1, 2014 Of course I've been shaped by past experiences. I expressed all my feelings first, wanted to be BF/GF first and she never had any doubts about our relationship and she suddenly dumped me one day, telling me that I liked her too much. If I held back in expressing my feelings, maybe she would still be with me............ Wouldn't it bother you that you are more in love than she is?
somedude81 Posted January 1, 2014 Posted January 1, 2014 Wouldn't it bother you that you are more in love than she is? Absolutely not. As long as she was with me and loved me, it wouldn't matter if I loved her twice as much. Odds are, in pretty much all relationships I have from now on, I will be the one with the stronger feelings. But I will have to hold back how much I show for fear of having a girl leaving me. One thing for sure, is that I will never tell a girl that I love her before she says it to me. I never told my ex that I loved her, and I think that if I did, she would have ended things even sooner.
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