leafguy Posted December 30, 2013 Posted December 30, 2013 Could use some advice here guys and gals... I just had my first date 4 months after my relationship ended. Long story short, met her online...talked for a few weeks at first emailing all night, then texting and eventually a couple long phone calls. We met up Sunday for a date. Basically walked around did some shopping for close to 6 hours before dinner reservations. Dinner was good and she looked very happy. The conversation never ran dry and at the end she hugged me goodbye and said it was nice meeting me. My question is...how do I proceed? I texted her around lunch time today to say thank you for a great day yesterday and left it at that. I am relatively new to the dating game again so Im just curious from a female perspective, if I don't hear from her for a day or two, is that unusual after a very steady conversation for close to a month? I get she maybe didn't feel as I did, but she did tell me a lot of very personal stuff and did say she would like to do it again soon..very open ended I guess. I don't want to bombard her phone or come on too strong. I think she knows I want to see her again, but she really didn't give me any surefire signs outside of the great conversation. Any advice to if I should call in a couple days, or just wait until she replies (if she does). Thx everyoe in advance.
Mascara Posted December 30, 2013 Posted December 30, 2013 You should have asked her out immediately, either at the end of the date, or during the next-day contact. If I got a "thank you" text and nothing else, I'd assume you weren't interested. Did you discuss meeting again? 1
Author leafguy Posted December 30, 2013 Author Posted December 30, 2013 Im still during the next day contact. I just have not heard back from her yet today...could be work related. I asked her what her plans were next weekend at the end of dinner last night, which is when she told me she was busy next weekend but we could get together again soon. I thought I made it pretty clear I was interested. The thank you was simply a way to let her know I enjoyed myself. Was hoping it would ignite the conversation today. So far no dice.
Mascara Posted December 30, 2013 Posted December 30, 2013 You misunderstood me. You should have asked her in the message. As in "thank you for last night, I had a good time, would you like to go out to dinner on Thursday?"
Author leafguy Posted December 30, 2013 Author Posted December 30, 2013 Fair enough. So would calling and leaving a message if she doesn't answer be recommended? I mean, it was probably the best first date I have ever been on. I guess my fear is coming on too strong.
deathandtaxes Posted December 30, 2013 Posted December 30, 2013 Ask her out again. When confirmed, don't worry about texting her in the meantime. It helps keep the mystery alive.
Author leafguy Posted December 30, 2013 Author Posted December 30, 2013 So do I just pick up the phone tonight and call or give it a day or two?
Author leafguy Posted January 1, 2014 Author Posted January 1, 2014 So I didn't text her today, but called this evening to wish her a happy new year, a safe trip and asked her out again for next weekend after she is back. I put the ball in her court and have no intentions of contacting her again until I hear back from her. Given the fact she is crossing the border tomorrow to watch a hockey game. I don't expect to hear anything tomorrow. I suspect things will be less hectic Thursday for her, aside from being tired...do I give it until the weekend? Or should I expect a reply sooner?
Pretty.in.Pink Posted January 1, 2014 Posted January 1, 2014 she did tell me a lot of very personal stuff and did say she would like to do it again soon..very open ended I guess. You missed an opportunity when she responded with that statement. Sometimes enthusiasm and interest die off the further along you get without something concrete on the calendar. Life and other contacts continue while you hesitate. Give her a few days to respond since you just reached out, then followup once more if you haven't heard back.
Lady2163 Posted January 1, 2014 Posted January 1, 2014 I may be missing something, but I would text or leave a message with specifics...would you like to go to dinner at restaurant X next Wednesday or Thursday? Give her two days to choose from. Don't say, 'sometime next week' make it specific enough. Then the ball is really in her court.
Author leafguy Posted January 1, 2014 Author Posted January 1, 2014 She responded and wasn't a good one unfortunately. Basically stated she was going through a lot and dealing with a ton of issues that need solving a rebuilding. Whether not this is a way of letting me down easy or not...I know alot of it is truthful as I have talked her through a lot of it, but I still have to call a bit of it as letting me down easy. I just responded saying sorry you are dealing with all this and feeling overwhelmed. I am there if you need to talk. But I think I have my answer in the situation.
Pretty.in.Pink Posted January 1, 2014 Posted January 1, 2014 Sorry to hear. Agree with moving on and looking for someone else.
Author leafguy Posted January 1, 2014 Author Posted January 1, 2014 Thanks pretty.in.pink It is a bit of a shame, but back on the horse. New year, new women 1
Recommended Posts