Hoosfoos Posted December 30, 2013 Posted December 30, 2013 I have not blocked my ex from Facebook yet. I am not sure if I will or not. To me, once you do something like that, you cannot undo it. It also makes a big statement, one that I do not really want to make. Although she dumped me, and it hurts like hell, I want to go NC and have not looked at her profile ONCE since the breakup. I have her notifications turned off and those of her mutual friends turned off as well, so there is no trace of her on my news feed. Unfortunately she "liked" my new profile pic today which really pissed me off because this is a form of breaking contact. So although I'm not checking up on her, she's checking up on me. I want to show that over time that I am strong enough to to handle this. I was able to accomplish this with someone before. I am making no plans to reconcile or become friends with her down the line. I know that I posses the self control to no stalk her on Facebook since I have no desire to know what's going on in her life. Facebook really sucks bigtime when relationships are concerned.
d0nnivain Posted December 30, 2013 Posted December 30, 2013 If you are OK with your decision & can resist temptation, good for you. Many people can't. The only statement I see from blocking somebody is "good riddance" which is usually the sentiment after a break up.
Volthi10 Posted December 30, 2013 Posted December 30, 2013 congrats to you because it requires ALOT to not want to know about them. :/
chris21422 Posted December 30, 2013 Posted December 30, 2013 I highlight your problem.. This is self denial.. Now you are asking why you did not deleted her yet.. You should. you can't totally move on 100% her being in there even if you are not looking. You also mentioned you are making no plans to reconcile or become friends with her down the line. so what's the point of keeping her in there? The problem with this is you convinced yourself that you can do this but in reality you can't and you just making it hard for yourself.. Showing the dumpers you can live without them by keeping them in your facebook is just wrong.. How can someone miss you if you are just one click away? You need to be a ghost and you can't give her the opportunity to know what's happening in your life. I have not blocked my ex from Facebook yet. I am not sure if I will or not. To me, once you do something like that, you cannot undo it. It also makes a big statement, one that I do not really want to make. Although she dumped me, and it hurts like hell, I want to go NC and have not looked at her profile ONCE since the breakup. I have her notifications turned off and those of her mutual friends turned off as well, so there is no trace of her on my news feed. Unfortunately she "liked" my new profile pic today which really pissed me off because this is a form of breaking contact. So although I'm not checking up on her, she's checking up on me. I want to show that over time that I am strong enough to to handle this. I was able to accomplish this with someone before. I am making no plans to reconcile or become friends with her down the line. I know that I posses the self control to no stalk her on Facebook since I have no desire to know what's going on in her life. Facebook really sucks bigtime when relationships are concerned. 2
Author Hoosfoos Posted December 30, 2013 Author Posted December 30, 2013 The key word is "yet". If things get complicated down the line I will reconsider doing it. It's been 6 weeks since she dumped me and I have not looked at her page once. For some reason that I cannot explain, there is something inside of me stopping me from not deleting her. Even if I do, there will always be temptation to look her up on FB search even though I deleted her. If I block her I'll just end up unblocking her and checking things out later. The way I have things arranged now its minimal to no contact. I'd rather give no reaction at all than an obvious reaction. Facebook sucks!
chris21422 Posted December 30, 2013 Posted December 30, 2013 Eh man.. your'e not getting it. Your a ticking time bomb.. sooner or later you will check and will just prolong your healing.. Don't you want a peace of mind? I'm in your position before and trust me peace of mind is the best gift that I can give to myself. I change my number, block her from facebook, change my email and I feel so much better.. Cause I have peace of mind.. No more checking of phone, no more checking of facebook, no more checking of email. You can tell yourself you can finally move on with your life and meet new people! Also your keeping her there because you are concerned of what she will think. Your doing it because it's still about her... It's not anymore man. who cares what she thinks.. it's over.. If a person wants you back it's not because you are not facebook friends anymore.. If a person wants you back she/he will travel miles and thousand of miles to reconcile and be at your door.. The key word is "yet". If things get complicated down the line I will reconsider doing it. It's been 6 weeks since she dumped me and I have not looked at her page once. For some reason that I cannot explain, there is something inside of me stopping me from not deleting her. Even if I do, there will always be temptation to look her up on FB search even though I deleted her. If I block her I'll just end up unblocking her and checking things out later. The way I have things arranged now its minimal to no contact. I'd rather give no reaction at all than an obvious reaction. Facebook sucks! 1
k100danny Posted December 30, 2013 Posted December 30, 2013 As someone said above the main problem here is you say you have no intention to reconcile, if that's the case why leave her there with the chance of one day checking her page out and it being a dagger through the heart. what you also have to remember is it means she can check up on you and maybe start giving you bread crumbs ect.
Author Hoosfoos Posted December 30, 2013 Author Posted December 30, 2013 I have a lot of self control. Many people do not. What if I am able to practice enough self control until I am completely indifferent? You guys don't know me. I have another ex on my FB who is with another guy and I don't give a rats a$$ about the situation. This is what I'm aiming for. I understand and appreciate the sentiment on this site for deleting/blocking exes from FB but there is also another perspective. Like I say, if things get complicated I'll nuke her then. So far they're not.
chris21422 Posted December 30, 2013 Posted December 30, 2013 You say you have a lot of self control yet you posted this thread being confuse if you will keep her in your facebook or not. If you have the peace of mind like I was saying earlier you wouldn't post this thread and you are just living your life and moving on. Meeting new girls etc.. You are not sure if you wanted to be friends or not down the line. then just add her again when that time comes.. As I was saying there is no point of keeping your ex in there.. Good luck to you man.. I have a lot of self control. Many people do not. What if I am able to practice enough self control until I am completely indifferent? You guys don't know me. I have another ex on my FB who is with another guy and I don't give a rats a$$ about the situation. This is what I'm aiming for. I understand and appreciate the sentiment on this site for deleting/blocking exes from FB but there is also another perspective. Like I say, if things get complicated I'll nuke her then. So far they're not.
Xemyd Posted December 30, 2013 Posted December 30, 2013 I haven't deleted mine of Facebook either. That being said I don't use Facebook, yes I have one but I don't do anything on it, I don't post anything or talk to anyone on it. I honestly don't see why people get all riled up if you haven't deleted your ex off I social media. Who cares, it's not affecting my healing process, other things are. The OP has obviously made it so it's less likely to see anything about his ex, that's good enough. I think a lot of people on here forget that eveyone is different. What works for you, may not work for others. If it's ok with the OP don't tell him he's wrong. Not everyone needs to be so strict with their breakup.
chris21422 Posted December 30, 2013 Posted December 30, 2013 You are getting it wrong.. The OP posted that he is confuse if he needs to remove the ex gf in facebook or not.. I told him to remove the ex so he will have peace of mind and continue moving on. he resist.. He wants to make it hard for himself I didn't say removing ex in facebook is applicable to all.. If you are not using your facebook then keep your ex there who cares.. as long as you are not getting confused or prolonging your healing then don't delete your ex.. He's not gonna post this thread at the first place if he is not confused isn't he? I haven't deleted mine of Facebook either. That being said I don't use Facebook, yes I have one but I don't do anything on it, I don't post anything or talk to anyone on it. I honestly don't see why people get all riled up if you haven't deleted your ex off I social media. Who cares, it's not affecting my healing process, other things are. The OP has obviously made it so it's less likely to see anything about his ex, that's good enough. I think a lot of people on here forget that eveyone is different. What works for you, may not work for others. If it's ok with the OP don't tell him he's wrong. Not everyone needs to be so strict with their breakup.
vassilbg Posted December 30, 2013 Posted December 30, 2013 If you don't want to reconcile, or be friends... why be friends with her on Facebook? I think you are indeed, in denial. I personally think it was a nice ego stroke for you when she liked your profile pic, and you know what? Thats ok man, whatever it takes to get you over it. I don't have room for people in my life that don't want to be there, so I walk away... In my eyes, being friends with me on Facebook and in general is a PRIVILEGE. My exes LOSE that privilege once they decide to walk out and its THEIR responsibility to get back in my good graces. Sounds pompus? Not in my eyes. I have respect for myself and when someone is a true friend, I treat them like gold so why waste time on people that don't deserve it? 3
shakepig Posted December 30, 2013 Posted December 30, 2013 Eh man.. your'e not getting it. Your a ticking time bomb.. sooner or later you will check and will just prolong your healing.. Don't you want a peace of mind? I'm in your position before and trust me peace of mind is the best gift that I can give to myself. I change my number, block her from facebook, change my email and I feel so much better.. Cause I have peace of mind.. No more checking of phone, no more checking of facebook, no more checking of email. You can tell yourself you can finally move on with your life and meet new people! Also your keeping her there because you are concerned of what she will think. Your doing it because it's still about her... It's not anymore man. who cares what she thinks.. it's over.. If a person wants you back it's not because you are not facebook friends anymore.. If a person wants you back she/he will travel miles and thousand of miles to reconcile and be at your door.. If a person wants you back she/he will travel miles and thousand of miles to reconcile and be at your door.. Yea, it happens in movies. I dont know if it happens in reality. Once you go NC, dumpers may think you've moved on, lost interest in them, or maybe hate them. Why waste the time and energy to fight? I dont know.. If i was the dumper, i regret afterwards, i may reach out for several times. No response? i move on...anyway, i wouldnt be the dumper in the first place... I dont know if this is the case in general.. I havent been a dumper before...
chris21422 Posted December 30, 2013 Posted December 30, 2013 If a dumper quits after several attempts then you don't deserve to be with that person in the first place. because he/she cares more about his/her pride than the person they love? don't think so.. What I mean with the travel is. The dumper will move mountains if they really want the person back in their life... You are facebook friends or not, You have his number or not.. Dumpers will do everything in order to contact the dumpee and say he/she wants to get back together.. Yea, it happens in movies. I dont know if it happens in reality. Once you go NC, dumpers may think you've moved on, lost interest in them, or maybe hate them. Why waste the time and energy to fight? I dont know.. If i was the dumper, i regret afterwards, i may reach out for several times. No response? i move on...anyway, i wouldnt be the dumper in the first place... I dont know if this is the case in general.. I havent been a dumper before...
shakepig Posted December 30, 2013 Posted December 30, 2013 If a dumper quits after several attempts then you don't deserve to be with that person in the first place. because he/she cares more about his/her pride than the person they love? don't think so.. What I mean with the travel is. The dumper will move mountains if they really want the person back in their life... You are facebook friends or not, You have his number or not.. Dumpers will do everything in order to contact the dumpee and say he/she wants to get back together.. what if they dont love you( never did in my case) and just wanna give another try ( it may work out this time)? In this case, they will give up after several failed attempts.. I am thinking about what-ifs...any thought?
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