I'm never dating/relationship again

[Sweet108]

After long term marriage ended poorly and this last relationship (at 3 months post break up now), no thanks.

My heart has too much scar tissue. I don't think I could handle another break up so I'm not willing to take that risk again.

I never want to be in another romantic relationship.

 

Does anyone else feel this way, whether dumper or dumpee?

[KatZee]

Yeah, I've said that about a million times in my life. And then I meet someone and it starts all over again, lmao.

 

My most recent break up (19 months ago) was the one that shook me hardest to the core and made me really not trust ANYONE for a really long time.

 

As recently as maybe a month ago I was saying that I had no interest in relationships, I don't care at all, I don't want to deal with any drama involved, blah blah, and now I'm starting to really like the guy I've been casually dating. So I'm sure my "I'm never dating again!!!" is going to fly right out the window in due time.

[radiodarcy]

I certainly do. I was dumped three years ago and have had a series of short -lived relationships since then - - where the guy either dropped off the face of the earth or formally dumped me.

 

I'm only just now beginning to learn how important it is for me to be by myself and focus on me. So that's what I've been doing. And it seems to be going well.

 

My therapist has been encouraging me to meet knew people - - just women for now - - so I can develop my confidence through building relationships with people.

 

As I'm an introvert it's a daunting task and not one that I'm thrilled about tackling. But it's either that or sit at home and be lonely.

 

At any rate - - at this point in my life I can say that I'm really not interested in having a romantic relationship now or in the future.

[LostConfused123]

Yep!

I was just telling a friend the other day. . . . "after I recover from this pain, I don't ever ever have to go through it again. . with anyone!!"

meaning, if I don't allow myself to fall in love, I can go the rest of my life and never have to experience this agony again.

 

She just laughed

 

I was like, hey I'm serious!!!

[JDPT]

I used to say the same to myself and perhaps I still do at times. Yeah life is about taking risks at times I can attest to that but the pain is beyond excruciating at times.

[True Gent]

The thing is the pain is there because they meant so much to us. If something is important and very special to us it's gonna hurt if it goes wrong.

 

Isn't the joy, happiness, closeness, intimacy, laughter, memories and companionship worth some temporary pain? There will be someone else to love who will love you. That is worth all of the risks if you ask me.

 

Fearing being hurt just leads to an empty life without love. Love is worth everything that comes with it.

[BC1980]

I used to say that before I met my recent ex. I had 3 relationships prior, and I just felt so beat up by them that I remained single for 4 years. I was very happy when I randomly got set up with my recent ex, and this has been the worst to get over. I invested a lot in this relationship, and I thought I would marry him. I don't want to give up on love, but it seems like it would be exhausting at this point to invest so much again.

[oracle]

If you look at the big picture and the overall trends; Love, actually.. is a loosing proposition.

 

I had a 13 year relationship, that dragged out to 16 years together with the separation (while sharing the house) and divorce.

 

Add to that a 7 figure financial loss as a result to really bitter that pot.

 

I can't even picture the idea of building a life again with someone. Add to that I am attracted to young guys and look young so get young guys, so I know what I fall for wouldn't even be viable.

 

Its why I haven't been on a date in a couple of years.

 

BUT.. you never know... lightning could strike..

 

THO;

 

The odds are low - and typically - lightning will kill you..... ALL OVER AGAIN.

[Eau Claire]

Not me. I like men too much and the whole meeting, courting and falling in love.

 

I'm never really truly content outside of being in a relationship. I need a man to feel fulfilled. When not in a relationship, I fantasize and see a new guy wherever I go...the grocery store, the gym, etc. 24/ 7 during waking hours.

 

I'm everything Cosmo disdains. My own identity is always defined by my guy and I like to be part of a 'we'.

 

Time between relationships have always felt like life was in pause. Youth was always defined by what grade I was in...adulthood by what man I was with. I'm sure when on I'm 90 that I'll be wheeling up and down a retirement checking on the new widowers.

[organizedchaos]

Better not have any friends then either bc they'll just die on you someday. No friends means you never have to mourn anyone. Problem solved?

[polynomial]

there is a Joni Mitchell song which lyrics go "you're bound to lose if you let the blues get you scared to feel". I think she's right.

[organizedchaos]

there is a Joni Mitchell song which lyrics go "you're bound to lose if you let the blues get you scared to feel". I think she's right.

 

Yep. There's also a saying that goes something like "it's about the journey, not the destination"

[theonlyjuan]

Yeah, lasted for a few months. Once your over it then you kinda forget how bad you felt. Kinda like drinking, I guess. After a bad hangover people go " Never drinking again! " Once you feel better they are like " **** it , let's get drunk "