fides Posted December 30, 2013 Posted December 30, 2013 Note: I'm a pretty shy guy in my mid-twenties, and pretty inexperienced with women and adult dating. I don't do OLD, and prefer to meet people the old-fashioned way. A few weeks ago, I met a girl at a college alumni event. Usually, I don't like to reach out to girls, mainly because I don't really know how or what to say. Well, this time, this girl really impressed me. We talked for a bit at the event, and hit it off pretty well. I knew this was my chance, so I actually did something this time! I somehow got enough courage to ask her out for drinks sometime to get to know her better. She said it sounded good and gave me her number. We ended up going out for a casual dinner, since neither one of us were in a drinking mood. We had a lot of fun talking about ourselves and our lives, interests, goals, backgrounds. I really felt a good connection. We laughed a lot and maintained good eye contact. I didn't make any moves or try to touch her or anything. I paid for the meal, and she didn't really hesitate or insist on splitting the bill. We said our goodbyes and left. I wasn't really sure if this was hanging out or a casual first date. A day later, I texted her, and let her know that I had a good time getting to know her and had an awesome time at dinner. I even asked her if she "would like to go out to dinner with me again sometime". At first she didn't respond for a few days, so I thought I was being blown off. So I stopped thinking about it, and I just moved on with my life with the thought that I'd probably never contact her again. A week later, she responded back saying she's super sorry for not seeing my text. She said she feels like a jerk and apologized. She also claimed that "hanging out" with me was very, very fun. It turns out she was on vacation and she agreed to "do something" with me when she returns in a couple of weeks. So is she interested or simply being polite? I know that I'm going to have to man up and tell her that I like her and ask her to a real date, but I don't want it to completely catch her off guard, in case that she is oblivious and only saw this as hanging out as friends. Any thoughts? Like I said, I'm terribly inexperienced, and this is really the first time in a long time that I put myself out there...
Elias33 Posted December 30, 2013 Posted December 30, 2013 Text her; How about another date? Solved. You'll know soon enough what is going on. 1
fortyninethousand322 Posted December 30, 2013 Posted December 30, 2013 If you have to ask, you know what the answer most likely is. I guess text her when she gets back with a specific date in mind. But don't get your hopes up. Hope is a horribly addictive and destructive drug. Best not to indulge in it at all if you want to get through life unscathed...
Pretty.in.Pink Posted December 30, 2013 Posted December 30, 2013 Text her; How about another date? Solved. You'll know soon enough what is going on. Agree with this. "Lucky you! Have fun. How about another date when you're back?" What were the dynamics at dinner? Were you flirtatious at dinner? Any physical contact (e.g. touching her arm, a hug, kiss, etc.)? At any rate, the fact is that she agreed to let you pay for her dinner without a fuss. It wasn't drinks at a bar where guys routinely get a woman's tab for her without any expectation. Allowing a near stranger who is single to pay for dinner usually signals that you return his interest in the moment and think it was a date too. If she saw it as business networking or something platonic, most women would put up a fight and be certain to pay for themselves to clear up any potential misunderstanding. A few caveats, though... I'm assuming you're similar ages and similarly employed. If you're say 10 or 20 years older, especially if you're significantly further along in your career it will feel like a mentoring session, not a date, and the fact that you picked up dinner is almost expected. Either way, give her the benefit of the doubt regarding the communication delay, and ask for the next date.
Pretty.in.Pink Posted December 30, 2013 Posted December 30, 2013 By the way, kudos on overcoming your shyness! I think you did everything right in this situation. (The comment about being significantly older is geared towards other guys who might be reading. No, I didn't fail reading comprehension. I saw that you were in your twenties.)
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