margot13 Posted December 30, 2013 Posted December 30, 2013 The title says it all. Curious to know if anyone has kept their ex as friends on facebook and why?
fixing Posted December 30, 2013 Posted December 30, 2013 NO. And its an extremely bad idea to keep your ex on facebook. It may be ok to re add them in the future once you are completely over them, but, certainly not until then!
mammasita Posted December 30, 2013 Posted December 30, 2013 H3ll no. If you like to torture yourself, then go for it. 1
Author margot13 Posted December 30, 2013 Author Posted December 30, 2013 H3ll no. If you like to torture yourself, then go for it. Ha ha not trying to torture myself, just see so many posts as to removing them and I actually don't care either way. Why is it so important to remove them? I just have him on the restricted list so he can't see anything about me, and I have him restricted so I can't see anything about him. Just found it so petty to remove him, as if it would give him satisfaction. I don't know maybe I'm wrong......
KatZee Posted December 30, 2013 Posted December 30, 2013 Nope. Did a complete clean sweep. He was deleted and blocked same day. All pictures were taken down, mutual friends were "unfollowed" and all statuses/comments were deleted by me. May seem a bit extreme but the guy cheated on me so everything ever written or said became one huge lie and it made me sick just looking at those things. 3
Author margot13 Posted December 30, 2013 Author Posted December 30, 2013 Nope. Did a complete clean sweep. He was deleted and blocked same day. All pictures were taken down, mutual friends were "unfollowed" and all statuses/comments were deleted by me. May seem a bit extreme but the guy cheated on me so everything ever written or said became one huge lie and it made me sick just looking at those things. I understand that, I would do the same in that situation.
k100danny Posted December 30, 2013 Posted December 30, 2013 YOU ALWAYS UNFRIEND THEM. This is not pettiness and if you're saying it doesn't bother you having them there im sorry but you either emotionally checked out a long time ago or you're in denial. I have been broken up with and kept them there, tried not to look but have an been hurt and then it has started something off and we have ended up deleting ect, my most recent relationship we were there whilst we ween't sure 100% what was going on but after a couple of weeks i actually did the defriending and also of anyone where we may cross paths online unless they were a good friend, i just hid these posts for a while. My ex actually said thank you to me for doing it because she said she couldn't have and would have hung on. I have re added ex's a long time down the line and none of them held a grudge or said i had been 'petty' all understood and no hard feelings were felt at all. Look at it this way , you break up and you aren't friends in the future (who cares you don't have that extra person in your friend list) you break up and finally accept it and don't have bitterness toward one another (re add them with a short simple message and if they are reasonable and feel the same you can now be friends) or the last one, keep them on facebook, risk them seeing what you've done or they have done and not only feel more hurt but actually end up resenting and hating that person. If you've blocked what you can see you have absolutely no reason to keep them there at all. 4
fixing Posted December 30, 2013 Posted December 30, 2013 Ha ha not trying to torture myself, just see so many posts as to removing them and I actually don't care either way. Why is it so important to remove them? I just have him on the restricted list so he can't see anything about me, and I have him restricted so I can't see anything about him. Just found it so petty to remove him, as if it would give him satisfaction. I don't know maybe I'm wrong...... Isnt that kinda petty and stupid though? Facebook is an social interaction site, the point is to be connected to people you will converse with, keep up to date with old friends and new, etc. So why would you have someone on your list that you are going out of your way in ignoring them? Yet keeping that facebook 'connection' going? Pointless. And its not petty to delete them. It sends a clear message that you want nothing more to do with them. Of course, its different for ex's who are now indifferent to eachother, than by all means reconnect online. Each to their own i guess 1
Author margot13 Posted December 30, 2013 Author Posted December 30, 2013 Thing is, you don't need to be friends to see profiles, most are public and not private. So it makes little difference. And don't know about everyone else, facebook is not just good friends anymore, it is mostly aquaintances, and as some people say re-added exes. But your all probably right and I should just remove him. But he would get satisfaction out of it!!!
mammasita Posted December 30, 2013 Posted December 30, 2013 Who cares what your ex thinks? Why does it even matter what he thinks. Live YOUR life. Don't do things based on whether he's going to feel validated or not.....Who gives a flying **** what he thinks. Unfriend him. 3
k100danny Posted December 30, 2013 Posted December 30, 2013 if he broke up with you even if he is the type of person who likes to see you hurt he won't get satisfaction out of it trust me, you've had the past word and say and even if he's moved on trust me he will be shocked you've done it. 1
chris21422 Posted December 30, 2013 Posted December 30, 2013 Keeping your ex in facebook when you are not completely healed is a really bad idea.. It's a ticking time bomb.. Stop fooling yourself and thinking about what he will think and if he will get the satisfaction out of it. That satisfaction is just temporary trust me in long term he's the one who will be ****ed up. 2
Author margot13 Posted December 30, 2013 Author Posted December 30, 2013 OK OK Your all right. I call it self denial however your have all managed to shred me of that He is getting kicked off now!!!!!
chris21422 Posted December 30, 2013 Posted December 30, 2013 Good job. change your number too OK OK Your all right. I call it self denial however your have all managed to shred me of that He is getting kicked off now!!!!!
Author margot13 Posted December 30, 2013 Author Posted December 30, 2013 Good job. change your number too No can't do that, I have my own business, I need to keep the number the same or I would have to put a message telling my clients my new number on my old number :-).
Author margot13 Posted December 30, 2013 Author Posted December 30, 2013 did you already blocked his number? He is blocked and de-whatsapped.. Was just struggling with facebook, until I got a kick in my ***s here that is
MoveAlong Posted December 30, 2013 Posted December 30, 2013 I didn't remove her because I still love her. I'm not going to contact her unless she wants to reconcile. Maybe a year later, we can be friends. Who knows? I don't hate her, and I'm moving on now. I thought about deleting her but it seems kind of unnecessary to me. I blocked her chat, and that's enough. She isn't the kind of girl to mess with me, or do something that would hurt me. I'm not either.
chris21422 Posted December 30, 2013 Posted December 30, 2013 Oh men.. It's been already discuss so many times.. Don't keep your ex in there. Your giving her the privilege to know something about your life.. You need to be a ghost.. Your dead to her, she's dead to you.. That's a ticking time bomb and self denial and you are still hoping for reconciliation.. Get that out of the picture. This keeping him/her in Facebook and using the excuse that "Oh I don't look at his/her profile so it's ok to keep them on my friends".. that is very wrong Man up bro. Removed her! I didn't remove her because I still love her. I'm not going to contact her unless she wants to reconcile. Maybe a year later, we can be friends. Who knows? I don't hate her, and I'm moving on now. I thought about deleting her but it seems kind of unnecessary to me. I blocked her chat, and that's enough. She isn't the kind of girl to mess with me, or do something that would hurt me. I'm not either. 1
Author margot13 Posted December 30, 2013 Author Posted December 30, 2013 I didn't remove her because I still love her. I'm not going to contact her unless she wants to reconcile. Maybe a year later, we can be friends. Who knows? I don't hate her, and I'm moving on now. I thought about deleting her but it seems kind of unnecessary to me. I blocked her chat, and that's enough. She isn't the kind of girl to mess with me, or do something that would hurt me. I'm not either. Be warned you are also about to get your ***s kicked here like I did But I get where you are coming from. 1
Simon Phoenix Posted December 30, 2013 Posted December 30, 2013 (edited) Yes, the headaches from blocking her were potentially greater than they were if I didn't. I blocked her news feed. She isn't a very active facebooker and we have few mutual friends (though some of mutual friends we do have are close to both of us and were before both of us started seeing each other) so there wasn't much risk of a post/pic/comment leaking through the news feed block. And I was extremely disciplined about not clicking on her page. Had I been weaker about that, or had there been any sort of leakage, I would have blocked with the quickness and dealt with any political ramifications. However, in most situations I think blocking/deleting is the best thing. Had my plan fallen apart in any way, I would have. But it turns out that I didn't need to. Edited December 30, 2013 by Simon Phoenix
Ladiixmk Posted December 30, 2013 Posted December 30, 2013 Actually, I'm friends with all of my exes on Facebook. I had deleted one a long time ago (mainly because his page had spam on it) and then he re-added me 2 weeks later which was weird. But then at the same time, our relationships ended on good terms, though one wasn't completely over me. Though now he has a girlfriend. I believe that if you had a terrible relationship with someone or it ended on bad terms or you can't get over them and being friends with them on Facebook would make you more willing to check up on their page - then you should delete. It would help you to heal and to move on.
Never Again Posted December 30, 2013 Posted December 30, 2013 I did, mostly because I didn't want our mutual friends feeling like they had to "pick sides". I also had the added twist of having to attend a mutual friend's wedding a few months after the breakup. I didn't want to ruffle any feathers, so I blocked her news feed. I slipped a few times (and my ex IS an avid facebooker, so that sucked), and slipped some more when I found out she was looking at mine. However, after the wedding I took the easy route of shutting my Facebook down entirely. I didn't use it often, so it really wasn't a big deal for me.
sarbunoemi Posted December 30, 2013 Posted December 30, 2013 After a 5 month relationship with my ex, I kept my ex for 3 months on Facebook in the post-breakup period. Did not heal at all! He contacted me and I responded, in the hope he might rethink his decision. He contacted me in September because he saw me in TV and asked a lot of questions. I got annoyed and I told him I am not in the mood to talk with you. He replied "Let's talk when you're in the right mood" I blocked him after that. I regretted my decision at that moment but after a few days, I was so proud of myself, so free that he couldn't see me on Facebook. I am almost over him because of this. I even saw him, but did not had any butterflies, it was almost like a stranger to me.
LostConfused123 Posted December 30, 2013 Posted December 30, 2013 No can't do that, I have my own business, I need to keep the number the same or I would have to put a message telling my clients my new number on my old number :-). Not to thread jack but I was just thinking that very same thing. I blocked him but sometimes I wonder if I would move on quicker if I changed my number. but I don't know. All my advertising, clients, everything for my business is that number. I have had my business less than a year and it's going well for just starting but afraid it would suffer if I changed it. I really can't afford to lose any business. is that being paranoid?? just curious if any self employed people have done it. ((hugs!))
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