bobby326 Posted December 30, 2013 Posted December 30, 2013 It's been a few weeks since I've posted here and have felt that I was a lot better, I think it's the holidays and the fact that she never sent a text or anything on Christmas that bothers me. I also slipped and looked at her sisters Facebook profile and the first thing I see is a photo of her and her sister happy at their family Christmas Eve party they have every year, it made me feel terrible. That's the first time I've seen/heard anything new about her life since early October. It's been a little over 4 months since be BU, she left me, we lived together, she moved away to her hometown, it's been almost 3 months of strict NC. I know that wanting her to text or reach out is not healthy but it's always in the back of my mind, I guess I thought for sure she would text me a merry Xmas or something but I heard nothing (not that it should matter). Life just feels strange and kind of empty right now, I've casually dated, worked out, tried to focus on myself etc but I always seem to fall back into the abyss from time to time. I am very lonely I guess, I've been talking to this girl recently but I just don't feel that much for her, I just haven't met anyone yet that really makes me feel great. Also I've had dreams about my ex being with other people the past few nights, I wake up out of breath and sweating, I felt like I was doing really well and moved on but today I feel like I'm way behind, anyway just wanted to vent, thanks guys.
JDPT Posted December 30, 2013 Posted December 30, 2013 I can certainly resonate with what you are experiencing. In roughly 8 weeks post break up and for a while was doing exceptionally well. I thought at one point I was even "cured" everything lifted off of me as if I was a new and improved man. However, for this past few weeks I've been on a real low. Tightness on chest returned, inadvertent thoughts of the past, feeling inadequate and as if I don't amount. It's difficult to say the least. I can only suggest to commit to NC vigorously, as they say out of sight out of mind but that's just one of the many things to implement in order for you to propel yourself forward. Be strong, this too shall pass.
lovelylilly Posted December 30, 2013 Posted December 30, 2013 I think it's the holidays that puts us in that frame of mind. I spontaneously went out of state to be with some old friends for New Years. I just wanted a change of senery, thinking it would help but it's making it worse. I know it will get better though,just need to hang in there. . 2
sickoflove11 Posted December 31, 2013 Posted December 31, 2013 I definitely understand how you feel right now, alone and empty. I'm home for the holidays and my ex and I live just down the street from each other.. Unlike you my ex sent me a Merry Christmas text and though I was happy about it, it only got my hopes up that we might see each other as we did over thanksgiving. Every contact is like 500 steps back and everyday with no contact is 1 step forward. Funny you mention the Christmas eve party because my ex always has one as well and those pictures tore me up knowing I wasn't there this year.. I know all we need is time but its hard with that empty spot and having no one else to fill it. Sadly I have very few friends to talk to about this so I'm really just relying on time. I'm not very good at it, but stay positive. 1
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