Hear my story.. Moving away.

[Colonel]

I just really need to get this off my chest and would like to talk to people about it. Everything that has happened in the last 2 years.

 

To start off, let me tell you about myself. I have always dreamed of meeting a girl and being with her my whole life. If I am with someone, I will love them above anything and would do anything for them and for us. I would never cheat, lie, or anything of the sort.

 

As it turns out, I met a girl on my freshman year of high school. (I know what you think, It doesn't matter, it's just high school. But please read on. It's important to me). I began liking her and talking to her later in the year. (She realized pretty quickly that I liked her. Guess I'm obvious. But she kept quiet about it) I am a shy guy but on the last day of school I asked for her number. I texted her every day after then. Well, flash forward about 4 months of talking and I finally asked her out. We were in her house, in the couch together, and she knew it was coming, but literally it took me half an hour for the words to come out. I was nervous.

 

Anyway, she was perfect. We would love being with each other. And I did anything to make her happy. I would bake cakes for her on special occasions and write cards for her and such. Her family loved me but they were a bit protective of their daughter. I promised to show them I would always take care of her. I had never gotten so close to anyone ever in my life. She made me more confident and happy. Whatever problems we would have were minor.

 

About 9 months in, we were at her house and she seemed distant. She said she had something to tell me. As the night progressed, the news came out. Her parents got a mandatory transfer at work. She was moving away.. TO FRANCE. Yes, she was moving across the ocean. (I love in Florida, btw). It hit me hard. I had to go to the bathroom to calm myself down. Her mother told me she was sorry. I tried to act as mature about the situation as possible.

 

A month later it happened. The iconic image is etched into my mind still. I watched her leave in the airport.

 

We had talked about how we would deal with the situation. I was trying my hardest to make this long-distance relationship work. But secretly we knew the inevitable.. I told her I would stay here for her for as long as she needed me. I wished she would need me forever. But we talked about the future and it didn't seem hopeful. The chances of her moving back here later in life so we could live together didn't seem high. And I couldn't live over there. My second dream is to become an US soldier.

 

Slowly, our video chats were decreasing in frequency and our messages were getting duller. The situation was getting tough. And it felt like she had no interest in me. So, about 2-3 months after the move, I took all my bravery, pain, anguish, and rationality, and decided it was time for the inevitable. She told me she still cared for me but it wasn't working. We talked about it and we agreed that a breakup was the best decision. Its one of the hardest things I've had to do.

 

And now, it's been over 5-6 months since she left, and 2-3 months after we broke up. And I'm still devastated. I have tried my hardest to move on. I have not let it interfere with the rest of my life. I am a junior in high school and have kept my grades up. I am a high ranking cadet of my school's jrotc program, and I have more than filled my duties there(I am top candidate for next year's Battalion Commander, the highest ranking cadet in the school). And I am fulfilling my second dream, I am signed up in the U.S. Army and am scheduled to go to basic training this coming summer. I have controlled myself pretty well. But even so..

 

I can't look at another girl without feeling guilty. I can't feel attracted to another girl. I have a hole in my chest. I cry sometimes. I still stalk her facebook. It all feels like a nightmare. Like she might come back anytime now. And I have to constantly face the reality that she never will. I miss her hugs. I would do anything for a hug from her. I miss everything about her and just about would give anything to have her back.

 

A few days ago, I told her I couldn't talk to her anymore. I would still talk to her and search for her all the time. But I had to stop. I was only hurting myself. And I'm fighting myself every day so I won't send her a message.

 

I'm just trying to move on. But I can't see a happy future without the girl of my dreams.. Which I still believe is her. I'm trying to be positive and think that another girl will come, better than the last, and all will be alright, but my heart is aching with disbelief...

[Philosoraptor]

Yes, you need to take some space and really take care of yourself. The more you know about her life by checking up on her, the more you are going to feel pain.

 

It may be awhile before you're ready to date again and that's ok. Just take care of yourself, spend time with friends and family, immerse yourself in hobbies, and find happiness in the little things in life. The more effort you put into taking care of yourself the quicker you are going to heal and find peace with the situation.

[d0nnivain]

I'm sorry you are hurting & although you can't see it now, it will get better. Distance is a tough thing to overcome.

 

 

For now, just take one day at a time. Concentrate on school. Do something for yourself: join a team or club, exercise, write or paint or make music (do something creative). The point is to keep yourself busy.

 

 

With each passing day you are getting stronger & little by little the pain is subsidizing. Hang in there.

[JDPT]

I'm a 32 year old man and the way you are handling your current situation is encouraging. The inevitable occurred, and you will later realized that things do happen for a reason. You have a brith future and realize that nothing remains stagnant. Commit to NC and continue to move forward with your plans. I understand easier said than done but propelling yourself and knowing that you have so much going for yourself will get you out of this emotional darkness you are in?