SarahJames Posted December 30, 2013 Posted December 30, 2013 (edited) There are some days where I think about the ex-MM sparingly, and others where he is practically every other thought in my mind. This brings me to wonder...does he think about me everyday too? I was the one to initiate NC because I got sick of doing this to myself, the BS, and inflating the MM's ego. I can't help but wonder if I cross his mind as much as he crosses mine. I don't know why I even care if he thinks about me or not. I have no intentions of ever having any contact with him again - it should be irrelevant to me whether he thinks about me or not. I suppose it is only natural to wonder such things after having developed feelings. Do you think your exMM thinks about you? Why do you think he does/doesn't? Why do we care if he does? Do you think he thinks about you as often as you think of him? What should I even tell myself to make myself more at ease when it comes to wondering about this? Edited December 30, 2013 by SarahJames
Guardedheart Posted December 30, 2013 Posted December 30, 2013 I find myself in the same pattern. On one hand I want him to be sad and miserable and miss what we had. Then I tell myself that he has a wife and daughter and that he probably isn't thinking of me at all. I don't know which one is worse. I guess it is better that I think that he doesn't think of me, so that I can not rehearse in my mind the many things that I wish/want to happen. I really want him to think, man I'm such a jacka$$ and I have hurt people. But I laugh to myself and know that isn't really going to happen
irresolute Posted December 30, 2013 Posted December 30, 2013 There are some days where I think about the ex-MM sparingly, and others where he is practically every other thought in my mind. This brings me to wonder...does he think about me everyday too? I was the one to initiate NC because I got sick of doing this to myself, the BS, and inflating the MM's ego. I can't help but wonder if I cross his mind as much as he crosses mine. I don't know why I even care if he thinks about me or not. I have no intentions of ever having any contact with him again - it should be irrelevant to me whether he thinks about me or not. I suppose it is only natural to wonder such things after having developed feelings. Do you think your exMM thinks about you? Why do you think he does/doesn't? Why do we care if he does? Do you think he thinks about you as often as you think of him? What should I even tell myself to make myself more at ease when it comes to wondering about this? Of course he thinks about you, and remembers you. You too shared moments, intimacy...of course he thinks about you! Did he tell you he had feelings for you? If yes, most probably thinks about you very often. 1
liloldlady Posted December 30, 2013 Posted December 30, 2013 does he think about me everyday too? Ask him. I have. He said he does. I believe him. If you're not communicating with the person formerly in your life, let it go.
Cocochai Posted December 30, 2013 Posted December 30, 2013 Yes I believe they do especially if it was an emotional bond you two shared. When it's a forced NC even more.. As time goes by they lessen but, they will still have a memory of you. Good or bad. 2
liloldlady Posted December 30, 2013 Posted December 30, 2013 Yes I believe they do especially if it was an emotional bond you two shared. Agreed. When it's a forced NC even more.. Yep. I laid a no contact on him. It didn't last long. He was right there waiting for me when I returned.
Baby123 Posted December 30, 2013 Posted December 30, 2013 Of course he was Hun- once me and mm broke up and I met him and he had been vommiting and crying with how much he missed me. He said he couldn't sleep in our bed without crying and literally everything reminded him of me and him. He said the morning was the worst when he'd wake up. 1
lilmisscantbewrong Posted December 30, 2013 Posted December 30, 2013 I think you need some men to answer this question
BlueBobby Posted December 30, 2013 Posted December 30, 2013 Can't speak for everyone, but you know if hrs thinking of you by how you think of him. If you have a whole lot of positive nice thoughts, well he was there to so 9 times out of 10 he would have those thoughts too. Maybe less while he is around his family, because he's busy. But the man showers, be drives, he is alone sometimes to think. I think of my girl every time I'm alone for a while and I think of her a lot even when I'm trying not to so I can focus on my family. 1
BlueBobby Posted December 30, 2013 Posted December 30, 2013 I am king of keeping the relationships separate. I still think of her.
MissBee Posted December 30, 2013 Posted December 30, 2013 There are some days where I think about the ex-MM sparingly, and others where he is practically every other thought in my mind. This brings me to wonder...does he think about me everyday too? I was the one to initiate NC because I got sick of doing this to myself, the BS, and inflating the MM's ego. I can't help but wonder if I cross his mind as much as he crosses mine. I don't know why I even care if he thinks about me or not. I have no intentions of ever having any contact with him again - it should be irrelevant to me whether he thinks about me or not. I suppose it is only natural to wonder such things after having developed feelings. Do you think your exMM thinks about you? Why do you think he does/doesn't? Why do we care if he does? Do you think he thinks about you as often as you think of him? What should I even tell myself to make myself more at ease when it comes to wondering about this? I think having been out of the A for a long time as well as not having recently broken up with anyone, it's easier for me to feel like this train of thought is pointless. In terms of whether or not this person thinks of you, you can only speculate, and even if you did get evidence that they do or don't, what actual difference does it make? However, I also remember how I felt closer to a breakup and closer to the A ending, and get that you're still trying to get over things so these preoccupations are more important as you process. MM are humans who cannot just have amnesia. They can't forget they ever had an affair or an OW. I think the nature of their thoughts and frequency will be dependent on what they're trying to accomplish, how things ended etc. I think what helped me was to really acknowledge that whether or not he thinks about me doesn't change anything and I assumed he did, but that those thoughts didn't matter. That helped me to allow the thoughts to come and go, as sometimes fighting it and worrying about it makes it worse. 1
ZMM Posted December 30, 2013 Posted December 30, 2013 I think you need some men to answer this question My guess would be, he probably thinks about you all the time, especially since you initiated NC. 1
inappfriendly Posted December 30, 2013 Posted December 30, 2013 SarahJames, 4 months of NC and this question still HAUNTS me every single day... Wish I could offer something more encouraging and/or helpful.
Cocochai Posted December 30, 2013 Posted December 30, 2013 Of course he was Hun- once me and mm broke up and I met him and he had been vommiting and crying with how much he missed me. He said he couldn't sleep in our bed without crying and literally everything reminded him of me and him. He said the morning was the worst when he'd wake up. Lol this made me laugh but... I can't tell if your being sarcastic or serious with this post lol
lilmisscantbewrong Posted December 30, 2013 Posted December 30, 2013 My guess would be, he probably thinks about you all the time, especially since you initiated NC. I didn't really initiate NC -he really was the one that eventually enforced it for good. It was a good thing.
Cocochai Posted December 30, 2013 Posted December 30, 2013 My guess would be, he probably thinks about you all the time, especially since you initiated NC. ZMM are you saying generally when the AP breaks it off first, it could make it harder to forget because that person was the one dumped?
ZMM Posted December 30, 2013 Posted December 30, 2013 ZMM are you saying generally when the AP breaks it off first, it could make it harder to forget because that person was the one dumped? That is what I am saying, just based on human nature. But, I am no expert. 1
Cocochai Posted December 30, 2013 Posted December 30, 2013 That is what I am saying, just based on human nature. But, I am no expert. Lol no it's true, not always the case but it's the pride/ego 1
ZMM Posted December 30, 2013 Posted December 30, 2013 Lol no it's true, not always the case but it's the pride/ego Actually, for me I don't think it would make any difference, just because of the way I feel. And in my situation, if I initiated NC, I would be more likely to break it. That's all just speculation on my part.
Cocochai Posted December 30, 2013 Posted December 30, 2013 Actually, for me I don't think it would make any difference, just because of the way I feel. And in my situation, if I initiated NC, I would be more likely to break it. That's all just speculation on my part. I just think in general it all depends on how much they missed the person.. Not always the case of course. In my case... I personally did not want to end it but had to! I can't help but be sad and think about him yet pissed at the same time.
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