shorty1988m Posted December 30, 2013 Posted December 30, 2013 So I wrote her a letter. That I was going to send by email just to get closure and let her know how much of a bitch she was. I feel she shouldn't get away with this freely. I haven't sent it yet but wanted to know what is your opinions on this. I always feel bad after contacting her but this time I don't want her to contact back.
livingnightmare Posted December 30, 2013 Posted December 30, 2013 If I was you I wouldn't do it, I have sent multiple txts along those lines at times. Each time I have done so she didn't take it lightly and said even more stuff that hurt deeply (I suppose it depends on your situation), each time she responded the animosity escalated, I foolishly txt the ex a few weeks back, asking why she had to add so much animosity at the end when we had a child together. I got you slept with my sister and 2 other people and that I was abusing her and wanted her to stay so i could abuse her more, even though she was the abuser and she cheated on me..... Do you see how it made things worse for me? I can not explain how much. Dont do it! You will regret it and knock yourself back, closure comes from within so I have read. 1
Author shorty1988m Posted December 30, 2013 Author Posted December 30, 2013 It was only last week we had a good conversation and both agreed we still wanted to talk. It was a major issue in our relationship that she would ignore me and say it was just a thing she did. So after we talked she was going on holiday with family so i sent her a have a nice holiday message just to be friendly. Got no reply. So a few days later i sent her a text saying 'i dont want to be with her and i dont want to be friends so we're nothing. I just needed to let you know why i wont be talking to you anymore'. I got no reply and went NC and wrote the letter today because i feel she has just gotten away with breaking my heart. Also, i had one check of her instagram and accidentally liked a photo but unliked really fast so now she probably knows.
mammasita Posted December 30, 2013 Posted December 30, 2013 NO NO NO NO.........and NO So what if she's a bitch. Do you want her to know you spent, no wasted more of your time thinking about her after she dumped you? Hell, if I were her, I'd be validated and then laugh at you. Don't give her that satisfaction. SILENCE IS GOLDEN. 3
d0nnivain Posted December 30, 2013 Posted December 30, 2013 It's not a bad idea -- It's the absolute worst most horrible idea ever in the history of the universe!!! best case scenario: the recipient ignores it. worst case scenario (especially with an e-mail) the recipient sends it out to every body &/or posts it on line, it goes viral & the WHOLE WORLD thinks you are a schmuck. Write the letter. Print the letter. in a safe controlled place, light it on fire & watch it burn. Do not under any circumstances transmit it to your EX. 6
StringsAttached Posted December 30, 2013 Posted December 30, 2013 I told my ex that she would never be truly happy with a guy and hop from one relationship to the next and just felt horrible...after a few days I texted her telling her that her mind games f'd me up and that I do indeed wish her the best of luck and that I hoped she would live a wonderful life. Taking the high road is a better option imo.
SurplusIndifference Posted December 30, 2013 Posted December 30, 2013 I was going to send by email just to get closure and let her know how much of a bitch she was. I feel she shouldn't get away with this freely. It is unlikely that this will give you closure. If she is such a B* then why would she take it seriously? She might think you are just bitter and shrug it off. She lost interest in you enough to not want to be in a relationship with you, so why would she put much stock into a letter yelling at her? You get closure from yourself, not from her. My advice on how to get closure is to forgive her. If you absolutely feel the need to send her a letter, then send a short one saying you forgive her even if you don't understand why things happened the way they did. You gain nothing by being bitter. 1
AnyaNova Posted December 30, 2013 Posted December 30, 2013 So I wrote her a letter. That I was going to send by email just to get closure and let her know how much of a bitch she was. I feel she shouldn't get away with this freely. I haven't sent it yet but wanted to know what is your opinions on this. I always feel bad after contacting her but this time I don't want her to contact back. Please learn from my own waltzes with the no contact breaks. When you yet the urge to contact your ex, fire up a nice burner on your stovetop to its highest setting and put your hand right on it. Ultimately it will be less painful and more rewarding than contacting your ex. Obviously don't really do that, just take the point. 2
Never Again Posted December 30, 2013 Posted December 30, 2013 Do not send a letter. If you absolutely NEED to send one for closure and don't want to seem clingy or desperate, the thought should be as simple as: "You're right, we never would've worked out. I would've preferred to stay together but you were unhappy. It's time for both of us to move on, so I wish you the best." Only take the high road. The BEST path is silence, but the second best is tolerance and maturity.
organizedchaos Posted December 30, 2013 Posted December 30, 2013 It's not a bad idea -- It's the absolute worst most horrible idea ever in the history of the universe!!! best case scenario: the recipient ignores it. worst case scenario (especially with an e-mail) the recipient sends it out to every body &/or posts it on line, it goes viral & the WHOLE WORLD thinks you are a schmuck. Write the letter. Print the letter. in a safe controlled place, light it on fire & watch it burn. Do not under any circumstances transmit it to your EX. This. Remember OP, once you send that it cannot be undone. She is free to forward to anyone or post anywhere she wants mocking you publicly for all to see. Is that what you want?
SoleMate Posted December 30, 2013 Posted December 30, 2013 What exactly did she do that was "bitchy" or hurt you badly? Was it something other than just leaving you?
fixing Posted December 30, 2013 Posted December 30, 2013 (edited) Dont do it man. Seriously. You told her already! Its like using a rocket launcher to kill a mouse. OVERKILL. or like using sandpaper as toilet paper, you just dont do it! Edited December 30, 2013 by fixing
Author shorty1988m Posted December 31, 2013 Author Posted December 31, 2013 She did some bad things including sleeping with someone else while we were newly dating. She didn't know i knew until later on so i never trusted her and that made problems. Decided not to send the letter. I still have it but i don't want her anymore. Theres a girl where i work now, while i have no interest in dating her, has shown me i can have things in common with other girls 2
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