Author redbaron005 Posted May 29, 2014 Author Posted May 29, 2014 So today was the 6-month mark and I wanted to provide an update. This month has been interesting. I broke NC about three weeks ago with a very short email just telling her I hoped her family and her were okay. She responded the next day with a few questions about my life and some vague information about hers. She was nice enough to leave out anything that would hurt me, and my brief response did the same. The interaction was very cordial, but I know her well and know it was hard for her to respond/she did not really want the conversation to continue. She hinted that she was moving on permanently, and I wished her happiness in her pursuit of work for the fall. I genuinely want her to be happy, with or without me. Also, I found out that she may be moving into the city I am moving to for the summer for her job. That had me shaken a bit, I did all this effort to put myself in a position to have a clean slate and then that. Well, it is what it is, nothing I can do, and neither her nor I knew of each others' plans so its just random. Emotionally, I have obviously been thinking about her a bit more because of the above, but am miles away from where I was even three months ago. That being said, I still love her . Anyone else at around the 6-month mark (or who has been) have any suggestions for where to go from here and/or how to emotionally cope at this stage of the healing process?
Author redbaron005 Posted July 28, 2014 Author Posted July 28, 2014 (edited) So it's my eight month update: And I'm dating someone new and it's bloody hard. I still love my ex and although I have accepted that the relationship is over it's still difficult. I'm not comparing the two women, I know every relationship is different, and comparison is the thief of joy. But some things are hard, I clearly have a type and she does enjoying doing many of the things my ex did, so that's difficult. My communication is better and I've been very honest with her and she's still willing to give it a shot, which is quite admirable. I'm just afraid, and it's taking a lot of me to not reach out to my ex before this gets to serious. I don't want to sabatouge the good thing we have going, the new girl and I, but I can't help but feel that I will never fall as truly in love as I did with my ex, as royally bad as I handled it, we were a great match. And eight months in, if she came back I'd still take her back (after setting boundaries etc). I've never experienced this before and I'm not entirely sure this is fair to the new girl if it gets more serious but I'm going to be open and honest about everything, it's not like she doesn't have baggage either. I need to feel this out over the next few weeks and life has been quite hard on me recently so I'm hoping to find more time to reflect and make wise decisions and get things sorted. It's amazing how far I've come, but it's all new territory even for me at 28. Thanks LS for listening. Edited July 28, 2014 by redbaron005 Typo
Author redbaron005 Posted September 24, 2014 Author Posted September 24, 2014 (edited) My sort of interesting 10-month update: New Relationship Status: Well, my new relationship is going okay, although we do live an hour apart we have been making it work really well. Had a great weekend getaway and had serious and fun conversations. There are some red flags (learned about those here, thanks LS) on both ends, but it's certainly good we both acknowledge each others. Certainly, it has been the most mature first months of a relationship I have ever had. Ex Message Today: Today I received a couple of text messages from her (after me responding to is this red, with a yes who is this?), telling me that she was switching to a new phone and transferring her numbers blada blada....would I like to be friends. And then after 20 minutes of me just doing what I was doing, showering the dust and paint off me from working the night shift, I got the if this is a "no" let me know so I can know whether to hold on to the number. With the guilt-trip-like attached. My Reaction to the Ex: Well, I have not responded. I am not entirely sure what to do, and although no response feels rude, my gut tells me it's the right thing. I remember some great LS advice I saw on here a while back: when all choices seem wrong, choose restraint. I would, of course, like to respond, preferably with the I agree with you about the decision to break up, I really believe it was the best thing for both of us. I have some big decisions to make and I need some time to think them over. I would really appreciate it if you didn't contact me during this time. I will be in touch when I am ready. Let's be real though, I am not posting in the Second Chance forum, because I am not being asked for one. I will sleep on this one, and any suggestions from y'all would be greatly appreciated. Reading My "Original Post": Oh, my. Most of my OP is inaccurate or just mus-perception of the RS, due to me being blinded by denial and false hope, and all kinds of insecure feelings. Not going to correct it, I like it as it is to remind me for the future. Of what I did wrong and the room I have to improve. I am man enough to admit I still think of my ex every day. I genuinely hope she finds a life that makes her happy. Edited September 24, 2014 by redbaron005 Typo
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