winny Posted December 30, 2013 Posted December 30, 2013 Wow. I guess we've all had very very different dating experiences. I don't know about anyone else, but there's been times when I didn't notice a text and responded way after, fell asleep, left my phone in another room, had my phone on vibrate for work and forgot to turn the ringer on, got caught up in cooking/watching a movie, etc. My phone's not always glued to my hip. To me, 4hrs is really not that much time. If however it took him a day to reply to the text or something, or even spark up a conversation, I might have my suspicions. It would take a bit more than a guy taking 4hrs to reply ONE TIME for me to think he is not interested. I've texted guys when I got home safely and there was no need for a reply; the next day or whatever they might text me or call me about an entirely different topic. If I went out with a guy who came over my place and I told him to text me when he gets home, if he freaked out over me taking 4hrs to reply because I legitimately fell asleep, I'd write him off as possessive, clingy, unstable and unreasonable. Now, if this became a habit, he never initiated contact, always took hours on end to reply, then that would be a whole other story. Am more worried about the content of his reply where he completely ignored her question... 1
winny Posted December 30, 2013 Posted December 30, 2013 no reply not interested. But why on earth did he get a taxi for you,and tell you to txt him. Edit: he did reply,that's good Guys say things which they do not mean all the time...
Conners Posted December 30, 2013 Posted December 30, 2013 Ehhh, don't listen to the people who say "if he REALLY liked you, he'd reply straight away, he's not interested blah blah blah" I swear some of the girls on this forum think they know the male brain inside out when it's the complete opposite. he's a GUY! They don't sit at the phone waiting to hear from you like us girls do. I have a lot of friends who are guys, some who are madly in love with their girlfriends but yeah sometimes they take a while to respond to them because they aren't glued to their phones! Doesn't mean they don't like you. and he did respond to you, maybe not directly but he asked if you were ok.. If it had been a few days then YEAH sure he's probably not interested but you didn't even give him 12 hours. it's fine..! just play it cool and see where it goes and if he wants to catch up again. 1
mammasita Posted December 30, 2013 Posted December 30, 2013 Total over-reaction to the delay from the first text and I'm sure the 2nd text made him think WTF. IMO, you should have let it be, waited for him to reach out after you let him know you got home and occupied your time with something more productive. 1
winny Posted December 30, 2013 Posted December 30, 2013 I wish I had caught this before you sent your text. Don't do that again! Sorry, I'm just being honest. Texting to say you got home ok is fine+end of conversation for many guys. Doesn't require a response. And now you know he was sleeping so you were over-anxious for nothing. If he is on the fence at all, this kind of behavior also the content of last text asking if it was a one-night stand, will drive him away. He will conclude you are a stage 5 clinger. I have a theory that most guys are on the fence about everything girl-related at the beginning! They see committing to a gf as freedom-limiting and NO ONE likes that. Have your own life and relax. Guys KNOW what to do for most part as far as contact goes. And if they are not doing it, they are not interested enough, not truly available or not going to treat you well enough if you "get what you want (what you think you want). Be patient and good luck. I don't think her question was wrong in anyway... We know she was obsessing but he doesn't.. She was just asking if it was more than a one night stand ... If a guy is truly interested he would give a her nice answer ... Not run away... All guys know they have to give up some freedom n so does a girl... Everyone needs love... Only stupid n immature guys will think of it as a limitation to freedom n run... OP - Chill n do not think much about this guy... If he comes back n initiates contact... then take one step at a time...
EmilyJane Posted December 30, 2013 Posted December 30, 2013 (edited) Update: I just text him. My rational was that I'm obviously going to want to know where I stand. No games. It WAS NOT a text that in any way said 'omg why have you not text me back?!'. In fact, it could be seen as independent from the previous message (although the reason I'm asking if obviously because he hasn't text back!). My message simply said (something like) ' sorry, maybe I should have asked this earlier, but was last night a one-time thing for you?'... No reply to this either, which is confusing! He is older than I am, which I know doesn't mean he's more mature (possibly just means that he's better at getting what he wants!) . But... why not just say? Doesn't strike me as a coward in anyway. I don't just jump at people, and I do genuinely feel that I'm a good judge of character. I know I shouldn't be so caught up on someone I've just met, but there's just something about this guy. I don't usually feel this way about someone unless I've known them for a while? OMG. That was like the worst thing to send eva. Now you sound needy and insecure. Four hours and you are already trying to get him to define the relationship? Really? Stop worrying so much and trust your lovability. If he doesn't snap you up he's an idiot! And STOP messaging him. Seriously. And whatever the time lapse is between his responses to you should be the same for your responses to him. Plus side is if he keeps contacting you he probably does like you Edited December 30, 2013 by EmilyJane 2
Versacehottie Posted December 30, 2013 Posted December 30, 2013 I don't think her question was wrong in anyway... We know she was obsessing but he doesn't.. She was just asking if it was more than a one night stand ... If a guy is truly interested he would give a her nice answer ... Not run away... All guys know they have to give up some freedom n so does a girl... Everyone needs love... Only stupid n immature guys will think of it as a limitation to freedom n run... OP - Chill n do not think much about this guy... If he comes back n initiates contact... then take one step at a time... Hi Winny hope you're well. I have to respectfully disagree though. I believe most guys or even people are going to know she was obsessing with the 2nd text after not getting an answer to first and asking if they were more than one night stand in that 2nd text. It's clingy and insecure. On his end, he's just thinking, I just spent almost 24 hours with this girl and did the nice thing of putting her in a cab & asking her to text me when she got home---wow, now 2 texts, one of the being to define where we stand--what more does she want?!? Having to reassure someone too much is unattractive. I agree that everyone needs and wants love. But if it is not what he is looking for or if he is not sure it is what he is looking for (which I believe would be the case one week into things), then her behavior is out of balance and feels desperate to someone who handled things like he did. For the record, I believe he may like her and want to move forward (but doing stuff like this is not going to help him continue to have that view). I completely agree with your last sentence! Chill and take it one step at a time is great advice.
winny Posted December 30, 2013 Posted December 30, 2013 Hi Winny hope you're well. I have to respectfully disagree though. I believe most guys or even people are going to know she was obsessing with the 2nd text after not getting an answer to first and asking if they were more than one night stand in that 2nd text. It's clingy and insecure. On his end, he's just thinking, I just spent almost 24 hours with this girl and did the nice thing of putting her in a cab & asking her to text me when she got home---wow, now 2 texts, one of the being to define where we stand--what more does she want?!? Having to reassure someone too much is unattractive. I agree that everyone needs and wants love. But if it is not what he is looking for or if he is not sure it is what he is looking for (which I believe would be the case one week into things), then her behavior is out of balance and feels desperate to someone who handled things like he did. For the record, I believe he may like her and want to move forward (but doing stuff like this is not going to help him continue to have that view). I completely agree with your last sentence! Chill and take it one step at a time is great advice. I know that guy might have felt she's desperate or whatever.... But if the guy is mature he wouldn't judge her based on one text! Or run away.... After all should he take the whole day he spent with her in person or just a text to know what to do next.... I don't know if it is a good idea for a girl to date someone who judges people based on a text message.... Am saying this assuming her text was a one liner or something... Lol Whatever it is... OP needs to be very patient.... Just don't do anything at all... Let people come to you... Don't chase anyone...
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