Is he still interested?

[JennHenn]

Hi, thanks for reading! This post sounds SO sad, but... I recently met this guy and I stayed over at his last night. I think we had a really great night, we laughed loads, he paid me lots of compliments, etc, and I didn't leave until about 5pm today ... When I was leaving, he insisted on paying for my taxi home, and said "make sure you text me when you're back to let me know you got back ok". So I did. The message I sent didn't say this, but was along the lines of 'just got home, thank you for last night x'.

 

Anyway, that was 4 hours ago and there has been no reply. I was just wondering if people think that this is because he's not interested anymore, or because maybe he thought the message didn't need a reply? I know I will know the answer to this sooner or later, but I am impatient and would rather know what's happening Thanks!

[ExpatInItaly]

Hi, thanks for reading! This post sounds SO sad, but... I recently met this guy and I stayed over at his last night. I think we had a really great night, we laughed loads, he paid me lots of compliments, etc, and I didn't leave until about 5pm today ... When I was leaving, he insisted on paying for my taxi home, and said "make sure you text me when you're back to let me know you got back ok". So I did. The message I sent didn't say this, but was along the lines of 'just got home, thank you for last night x'.

 

Anyway, that was 4 hours ago and there has been no reply. I was just wondering if people think that this is because he's not interested anymore, or because maybe he thought the message didn't need a reply? I know I will know the answer to this sooner or later, but I am impatient and would rather know what's happening Thanks!

 

Good heavens, you're really over-thinking this one. It's only been a few hours - give the guy a chance! Get a grip, girl...if you are always this antsy and impatient, it will turn guys off.

[JennHenn]

Thanks for the reply! Think the reason I'm being like this this time is that he usually replies almost straight away. Thing is, I am always like that... I just don't let them know it

[writergal]

It sounds like it was a one night stand that you had with this guy, was it?

 

If he never replied to your "got home safe" text, then yeah, I think that's a red flag. Sorry to disagree with ExpatInItaly. It takes 5 seconds to reply, "great, glad you made it home, etc." If he couldn't be bothered, then no, you're not on his interest radar anymore.

 

Put this experience in your "fun times," notebook, and try not to repeat it if you are looking for someone to be with long term. If you're young, by all means have a "party time, excellent" (Wayne's World movie reference), but without the expectation for anything much to happen afterwards.

[Sand Man Dan]

Hi, thanks for reading! This post sounds SO sad, but... I recently met this guy and I stayed over at his last night. I think we had a really great night, we laughed loads, he paid me lots of compliments, etc, and I didn't leave until about 5pm today ... When I was leaving, he insisted on paying for my taxi home, and said "make sure you text me when you're back to let me know you got back ok". So I did. The message I sent didn't say this, but was along the lines of 'just got home, thank you for last night x'.

 

Anyway, that was 4 hours ago and there has been no reply. I was just wondering if people think that this is because he's not interested anymore, or because maybe he thought the message didn't need a reply? I know I will know the answer to this sooner or later, but I am impatient and would rather know what's happening Thanks!

 

Don't do that to yourself. Go hang out with your friends.

[shinealight]

If you really want to meet someone then having one night stand is not the one to do and i should learn from that one *hint hint*. You will find someone don't worry

[edgygirl]

Although it's too early to tell, most guys we don't know well get colder after sex.

 

Learn the lesson and next time if you're looking for a relationship, make sure he's really into you and looking for the same before giving the goods.

 

ˆˆˆtrying to remember this myselfˆˆˆ

[JennHenn]

Thanks for the replies. Wasn't 'exactly' a one night stand. Met him a week ago, went back to his, we didn't sleep together. He's text me first every day for the past week. When we were together last night and today, he made couple of comments alone the line of "next time we met... " . And he's the one who said "make sure you text me when you get back" .

 

Part of me wants to text again and ask him outright if he wants to meet again. I would obviously not put this (or at least try my hardest not to put it) in a way which seems desperate I do understand that this kind of thing may make you appear desperate or keen, but I don't like games, and having to adhere to these rules of dating! I am young (in my twenties), but I just think, we're both adults, let's not beat around anything and just be honest. And I'm obviously going to be wondering why he's not replied. He will know that. So surely me texting to ask this is not SO weird?

[writergal]

His silence is actually his response. He's not interested. Doesn't matter that this is the second time you met up because you slept together. Now, if he really liked you, he would have replied to your text especially if he texted you all of last week every day. But he went radio silent. Why? He's not that interested. There's no ifs, ands, or buts, here. He would have texted or called you afterward if he was crazy about you but he hasn't and that's not what guys normally do when they like a gal. 4 hours passed by with not a peep from him. Yeah. Not interested given his texting history with you from last week.

 

I would not text or call him. It will only make you feel worse about yourself.

 

Next time if you like a guy, take it slow and don't run over to his place the moment you meetup. Get to know him by going on dates instead. Leave the sex for later.

[nomadic_butterfly]

Hi, thanks for reading! This post sounds SO sad, but... I recently met this guy and I stayed over at his last night. I think we had a really great night, we laughed loads, he paid me lots of compliments, etc, and I didn't leave until about 5pm today ... When I was leaving, he insisted on paying for my taxi home, and said "make sure you text me when you're back to let me know you got back ok". So I did. The message I sent didn't say this, but was along the lines of 'just got home, thank you for last night x'.

 

Anyway, that was 4 hours ago and there has been no reply. I was just wondering if people think that this is because he's not interested anymore, or because maybe he thought the message didn't need a reply? I know I will know the answer to this sooner or later, but I am impatient and would rather know what's happening Thanks!

 

You're being wwwaaayyyyy too clingy and overreactive. It's Sunday; most people chill on Sundays and depending on where you are at in the world, it is bed time!! I don't see why a guy who isn't interested is not only going to pay for a cab but then take it a step further by telling you to text him when you get home.

 

Step away from the phone and be more productive with your time. Hopefully you don't transfer this behavior into future relations with him b/c it will turn guys off and make YOU go crazy with all kinds of frivolous wild thoughts that are far from the truth.

 

I could be wrong of course, but I'm just calling it like I see it. If it 4 DAYS then that would be a slightly different story! Breathe

[Eau Claire]

You met him a week ago and went back to his place with him? Stayed over night.

 

Not a good idea.

 

I would not respect a man to ask me to stay over if I hardly knew him. If he did ask, I would politely decline.

[JennHenn]

Update: I just text him. My rational was that I'm obviously going to want to know where I stand. No games. It WAS NOT a text that in any way said 'omg why have you not text me back?!'. In fact, it could be seen as independent from the previous message (although the reason I'm asking if obviously because he hasn't text back!). My message simply said (something like) ' sorry, maybe I should have asked this earlier, but was last night a one-time thing for you?'... No reply to this either, which is confusing! He is older than I am, which I know doesn't mean he's more mature (possibly just means that he's better at getting what he wants!) . But... why not just say? Doesn't strike me as a coward in anyway. I don't just jump at people, and I do genuinely feel that I'm a good judge of character. I know I shouldn't be so caught up on someone I've just met, but there's just something about this guy. I don't usually feel this way about someone unless I've known them for a while?

[writergal]

So you texted him today and he didn't respond?

 

Now you have your answer (his radio silence) again. There's no confusion there. It's pretty obvious he's blowing you off, unless he got trapped under a car or was taken hostage by ninjas who stole his cellphone so that he can't use it.

 

It doesn't matter that he texted you every day last week, referred to a "next time," or paid for your cab fare home. If he doesn't respond to your attempts at communication, his actions speak volumes about his feelings which is that he's not interested.

 

I'll say it again. If I liked a guy I wouldn't wait 4 hours to return a text or call, even if I had seen him earlier the same day. And day of the week is irrelevant.

Edited December 29, 2013 by writergal

[JennHenn]

Update number 2: Just got this response- "Hey. Sorry just woken up. You ok?' . Not exactly an answer to my question, but a reply. F*ck knows...

[odin673]

His silence is actually his response.

 

Or perhaps his silence is because in his mind the conversation is over. She's home safe. If you want to text him go ahead. Start a new conversation and see where it goes.

[writergal]

Update number 2: Just got this response- "Hey. Sorry just woken up. You ok?' . Not exactly an answer to my question, but a reply. F*ck knows...

 

I call b.s. on his text response. He didn't directly respond to your concern about what this thing is between you two.

 

Or perhaps his silence is because in his mind the conversation is over. She's home safe. If you want to text him go ahead. Start a new conversation and see where it goes.

 

Odin, reread her previous post. She already texted him after he never responded to her "got home safe" text. In her text, she asked him to clarify what this thing is between them.

 

His lame-o response is deflection. He's playing games with the OP already, when he could just text or call her back to reassure her they are headed in the same direction, if he felt that way. If he even liked her that much. But it's pretty clear he doesn't feel that way, based on his most recent text response to the OP.

 

I call this one. He's done and is not going to give you a straight answer.

 

Time to move on OP. Learn from this one experience of what not to do, (based on the outcome that you have now) the next time you meet a cute guy you hit it off with.

[mortensorchid]

You really should not have sent the 2nd text. The guy went back to bed to sleep it off, that's why he didn't text back immediately. There's you answer as to why he didn't respond to your "got home safe text". Excessive texting is a sign of cling and desperation. He moved on simply to at least sleep after you left, you didn't. If he wants to see you again, he can contact you again. If not, move on. If you have not heard from him within 24-48 hours after the get together, you will not hear from him again. So it goes.

[anna121]

Unfortunately, if he was at all on the fence your last text likely blew it. It definitely makes clear that you are looking for something serious.

 

Which is fine, but is not how the game is played.

[mrs rubble]

Update number 2: Just got this response- "Hey. Sorry just woken up. You ok?' . Not exactly an answer to my question, but a reply. F*ck knows...

You wore him out and he was sleeping.

Give him some space. It sounds to me like you'll see him again.

[Leigh 87]

Writer girl is spot on.

 

If a guy is really into you, he normally texts you the same night or day you part ways.

 

The guys that where into me texted me after they left me; telling me they had a great time.

 

However, even a guys who is nuts about you can fall asleep after u leaving them at 5 pm. .... unfortunately for you, if he was crazy about you he definitely would have directly answered your query regarding the status of your shenanigans ( he would have stated that he wanted more than just sex from you if he did want more)

 

Going to sleep after saying goodbye to him at 5 pm? Sometimes even guys who are into you do this. Although normally when a guy really likes you, he would still text back, even if you only just saw him at 5 pm.

 

Look, we have all been in your position. We have had a sleepover with a guy. The guy says he likes us. He alludes to wanting to see us again. Then he doesn't text us back, or even text again unless we text him first.

 

I leant that men who are genuinely interested in more than just a casual encounter will text US after a get together. THEY will be the first to text US after a date or sleepover.

 

Lastly, before sleeping with a guy in the first place, it's best to discuss with them what they want; tell them you don't want FWB and you want to check if they are on the same page as you before sleeping with then.

Guys will often lie to get you into bed, telling you what they think you want to hear in order to get sex from you.

 

To help avoid this, I talk to a guy who few weeks before I trust their intentions are genuine. Better yet, I wait for THEM to instigate signs that they are serious about wanting to get to know us better.

 

My current guy invited me to his 30th after our first date. All his friends and family were to be there.

He said he wanted to move forward and try for something special.

I also got a good gut feeling from him, unlike with the other duds I'd dated.

He'd also text daily without me initiating.

 

 

 

Try to let the guy take the lead more; let him be the one to text you first, after your first couple of dates. If he is really into you, he'll want to get your attention and not risk you getting snapped up by another guy.

It is a red flag if he ignores you if you're the one that has to text him after your first and second date.

 

 

By date two, most men already know if they are really into a girl. Or not.

 

 

 

 

 

I

[Versacehottie]

I wish I had caught this before you sent your text. Don't do that again! Sorry, I'm just being honest. Texting to say you got home ok is fine+end of conversation for many guys. Doesn't require a response. And now you know he was sleeping so you were over-anxious for nothing. If he is on the fence at all, this kind of behavior also the content of last text asking if it was a one-night stand, will drive him away. He will conclude you are a stage 5 clinger. I have a theory that most guys are on the fence about everything girl-related at the beginning! They see committing to a gf as freedom-limiting and NO ONE likes that.

 

Have your own life and relax. Guys KNOW what to do for most part as far as contact goes. And if they are not doing it, they are not interested enough, not truly available or not going to treat you well enough if you "get what you want (what you think you want). Be patient and good luck.

[mortensorchid]

Honesty? Honesty is fine to a certain extend, but I am not talking about lies if that makes sense at all. I think what has happened to us is that we have been bombarded with all this talk show nonsense to be "open and honest" and "lay it all out on the table". It went into a more obscene direction with reality TV shows, one could argue. But all of that is complete and utter bogus. Let him rise to the plate and accept a challenge rather than text/call him all the time.

[winny]

The guy isn't that much interested in you.

Just relax and go on with your life....

[nomadic_butterfly]

The guy isn't that much interested in you.

Just relax and go on with your life....

 

Wow. I guess we've all had very very different dating experiences. I don't know about anyone else, but there's been times when I didn't notice a text and responded way after, fell asleep, left my phone in another room, had my phone on vibrate for work and forgot to turn the ringer on, got caught up in cooking/watching a movie, etc. My phone's not always glued to my hip.

 

To me, 4hrs is really not that much time. If however it took him a day to reply to the text or something, or even spark up a conversation, I might have my suspicions. It would take a bit more than a guy taking 4hrs to reply ONE TIME for me to think he is not interested. I've texted guys when I got home safely and there was no need for a reply; the next day or whatever they might text me or call me about an entirely different topic.

 

If I went out with a guy who came over my place and I told him to text me when he gets home, if he freaked out over me taking 4hrs to reply because I legitimately fell asleep, I'd write him off as possessive, clingy, unstable and unreasonable.

 

Now, if this became a habit, he never initiated contact, always took hours on end to reply, then that would be a whole other story.

Edited December 30, 2013 by nomadic_butterfly

[Thegreatestthing]

no reply not interested.

But why on earth did he get a taxi for you,and tell you to txt him.

 

Edit: he did reply,that's good

Edited December 30, 2013 by Thegreatestthing