What would good look like

[Softie]

In relation to them coming back or breaking up....we always talk about what we would not accept or be happy with in the form of breadcrumbs of a text, however bare with me, IF and it's a big IF they were to come back eventually what would show they were genuine? Genuinely sorry and wanting a fresh start? What signs should we look for?

 

Also to break up, what's is the best way to do how? How do you kindly break up with someone to give the dumper more peace of mind and not sent them in a complete tail spin?

 

So what would good look like? For you or in general?

 

For myself, I 'think' I would need to be pursued ardently, even in the face of me saying no to begin with, also tangible evidence of the changes that caused him to run away from commitment and that this fear has been worked on. Also the stubbornness - I have no idea what this evidence would be btw!

 

I don't live in hope. I've accepted what I had is dead and buried and that my ex is too stubborn. However I guess for myself I need to be prepared IF he did come back, what shows they are genuine and true.

[reddragon588]

I don't live in hope.

 

Based on the topic of this thread, I'd have to respectfully disagree.

[Softie]

Based on the topic of this thread, I'd have to respectfully disagree.

 

No I don't. Have accepted the death (of the relationship and person I used to know).

 

I don't hope for him to return.

 

I just need to know IF he did what is good vs what we have all read on here time and time again as breadcrumbs and *****e flimsy texts so that I can make a more informed judgement call, if I should wish too.

 

I am realistic though, I doubt very much it would happen. So respectfully you are incorrect, about myself.

[reddragon588]

I don't hope for him to return.

 

Then why are you thinking about him returning?

[Softie]

Then why are you thinking about him returning?

 

As I said, want to be informed so I know what bad looks like as much as genuine, just in case. I'm a just in case, be prepared kind of girl. Must be my bear gryills in me

[reddragon588]

As I said, want to be informed so I know what bad looks like as much as genuine, just in case. I'm a just in case, be prepared kind of girl. Must be my bear gryills in me

 

If he comes back, deal with it then. Otherwise, don't waste your time thinking about it.

[smuggy95]

Good won't be a one liner.

Good will be obvious. An apology, asking for you back, regrest, honesty.

Good will be not him rebounding back after trying it out with someone new and failing. Good won't be him being with someone else and getting in contact with you at the same time. Good won't be him drunk dialing you or looking for sex. Good won't be him just checking in on you for an ego boost (are you having sex with someone else yet? etc etc). Good won't be selfish.

 

 

Good will be ...something 99% of us won't see.

[margot13]

I think there isn't any simple rule, I think it will all be depending on what you hear, what is said and do the actions match. I know for myself we would need to have a very real talk, I would need to see that he has also in the time apart done some serious self reflection on his faults that also contributed to the end, and how we would make it better. It is always 2 people that make the faults, it is the way we deal with them. I guess I would need to hear and see that these are being dealt with.

[legion113]

Good would be seeing the taillights of my ex's car driving off into the distance..

Going over a cliff, or getting picked up by aliens would be GREAT.

[margot13]

good would be seeing the taillights of my ex's car driving off into the distance..

Going over a cliff, or getting picked up by aliens would be great.

 

anger phase??????