Gallaxia Posted December 29, 2013 Posted December 29, 2013 (edited) We were texting the other day and the guy I'm seeing says to save my money & not to get him anything for Christmas. He knows my money is pretty tight because of other obligations. His money is tight too- he lost his job two weeks before Christmas- he was down to his part-time job- so things got pretty hectic- we stopped going out and doing things to conserve money. During that time we hung out a little less because he wanted to focus his attention on finding a job. When we did hang out at his house it was usually dinner (I cooked) and tv/movie. He did manage to find a dream job other day. Apparently, I'm the first person he tells of good or bad news. So anyway, that night he took me out to dinner to celebrate and then I was introduced to a couple of his friends (for the first time) afterwards. The new job comes with strings (of course ) more pay BUT it''s a pretty far commute, so he's thinking he'll probably sell his house in a year or two when he's more caught up/financially stable- to someplace a little closer to the job. It's not that drastic (the outskirts but still in the area) 20+ miles farther than where he is now in the county I dream of moving to when I can afford iy. (he had previously asked me where I'd envision myself living in the future- months ago). He's told me about this plan at least twice now. But I just don't know why he's telling me this? And I just don't want to assume anything. Anyway, so last week he said he didn't want anything serious (for right now) but said that he needs to get his finances straightened out first before he can do anything else. I said "I'm working on myself too but at this point in my life, I just want to be open & honest". He said "I have nothing to lie about. I like you. You are cool. But we just met don't forget that(3 mos ago) Trust me...all you have to do is be patient... the last woman I was with didn't know how to do that and wanted to pressure me, so I had to leave." And that it'd probably be about a year or two til things straighten out. How would you interpret this? I have been taking him for his word but looking back some of this seems mixed and the job loss didn't help. Should I assume it'll be like this for that time period? How should I ask him? Or do I even ask him? What would you do? Edited December 29, 2013 by Gallaxia
GemmaUK Posted December 29, 2013 Posted December 29, 2013 He sounds great! He has been and is being very straight with you. His main priority when he lost his job was to get fixed up with another job - for which he warned you and said he needed to focus on that. It sounds like that is what happened - which enabled him to have time and space to get himself sorted with a new one. He is being sensible about Christmas presents as srting his finances is more important and he is considerate of your situation also. He is also aware and warning yu in advance that as with any new job its going to be tough going at first, plus him getting his finances straight is important to him so social life will be limited. He is mentioning well in advance that he has it in his mind to move closer to the new job which means two things - he sees it as a career move and not just a job for the time being and also he is obviously aware that you may well be wanting to move too so has told you his intentions probably to see what your reaction was about him moving. It's a long way off yet too from teh sound of it. He has also asked you respectfully to give him a bit of space to get himself back on track and take things slowly and day by day. What I think he means is no big demands (big weekends away or big holiday plans) and go with the flow in the relationship as you have been doing.
Author Gallaxia Posted December 29, 2013 Author Posted December 29, 2013 Thanks GemmaUK, I appreciate it He is pretty cool and does seem like someone I could see myself with for the long haul, I'm just trying to be cautious and not allow myself to get "played".
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