Sand Man Dan Posted December 29, 2013 Posted December 29, 2013 Basically what the thread title says. Is it considered abnormal for someone to be unable to have a sexual experience with someone of the opposite sex at will? In other words, is it unusual for attractive individuals, average individuals, below average individuals, or those between to not have any sexual options that they themselves find to be attractive?
Onethirtyeight Posted December 29, 2013 Posted December 29, 2013 Most people can get laid with someone less attractive than they are if that's all they're looking for.
Author Sand Man Dan Posted December 29, 2013 Author Posted December 29, 2013 its unusual. its usually the boring as watching paint dry nice guy who doesn't have any options. I agree. It usually is.
Onethirtyeight Posted December 29, 2013 Posted December 29, 2013 that and the socially awkward but the socialy awkward usually are boring nice guy nerds. most everyone else can get laid within months if they put in the time and effort. Within months? I'd say most people could get laid in a week if they just wanted sex with someone. Then it becomes a question of how long are you willing to wait to get what you want with someone you want to do it with?
Onethirtyeight Posted December 29, 2013 Posted December 29, 2013 that's accurate, but i was hedging. personally i can get laid today if i'm in the mood as can many many guys. By what means could you get laid today? If you already have something lined up that's understandable. I'd think on any day that isn't Thursday, Friday, or Saturday it would be significantly harder to work something out that isn't prearranged.
MrCastle Posted December 29, 2013 Posted December 29, 2013 Not abnormal at all. Quite normal, actually.
Author Sand Man Dan Posted December 29, 2013 Author Posted December 29, 2013 that and the socially awkward but the socialy awkward usually are boring nice guy nerds. most everyone else can get laid within months if they put in the time and effort. I have a group of friends that play a lot of video games, aren't terribly good looking nor have nice bodies, and yet almost always have prospects. They're socially awkward. Have a best friend that is pretty sure of himself, he's a good looking guy, always hosting the parties, but he just doesn't go out of his way to impress women, that's the best way I can put his interactions with them. He's involuntarily celibate. I've tried to hook my female friends up with him and they express a unilateral vague "hes attractive, but I don't see him sexually" My circle of friends wants to see him be happy. The girl I was talking to told me that he basically opens his mouth and it goes downhill from there. What can I tell him? Are there factors outside of personality and sexual attractiveness that dictate how often one experiences a sexual encounter?
Onethirtyeight Posted December 29, 2013 Posted December 29, 2013 My circle of friends wants to see him be happy. The girl I was talking to told me that he basically opens his mouth and it goes downhill from there. What can I tell him? Are there factors outside of personality and sexual attractiveness that dictate how often one experiences a sexual encounter? Putting in the effort to set one up... Guys need to put in effort to get chicks. 1
Onethirtyeight Posted December 29, 2013 Posted December 29, 2013 walk into one of many bars or clubs and turn on my charm, be fun and natural. getting that hot chick isn't likely on a sunday, but an average girl isn't so hard. being 6'2 and fit don't hurt either. You have time to hit the bars on Sunday? Yeah anyone can get laid if they go to a club or bar and just pick up on the people that are going to be "easy" for them.
ThaWholigan Posted December 29, 2013 Posted December 29, 2013 It's pretty normal, like a cycle. I had 8-9 months of pretty consistent sexual activity, followed by another 9 months of almost none. There's an ebb and flow usually, even in relationships. [regarding your incel friend opening his mouth and things going downhill] It's usually about finding your groove when it comes to interacting - finding the better and more attractive points of your communication style. I had this problem too. 1
Author Sand Man Dan Posted December 29, 2013 Author Posted December 29, 2013 Putting in the effort to set one up... Guys need to put in effort to get chicks. Cause see I have yet another friend, he does NOTHING. I'm serious... He was my college roommate. He's currently sexually involved with 3 women; one is single, one has a bf, and one is single but propositioned him into a fwb scenario. The other single one threw herself at him at a party and they never stopped meeting up. My best friend (the one with attraction problems) is easily more attractive than college roommate, in fact we are all kinda secretly jealous of his body lol, but is apathetic about the dating game because he's bitter, probably because he never understood how to be comfortable with the (rather good) hand that was dealt to him
Onethirtyeight Posted December 29, 2013 Posted December 29, 2013 Cause see I have yet another friend, he does NOTHING. I'm serious... He was my college roommate. He's currently sexually involved with 3 women; one is single, one has a bf, and one is single but propositioned him into a fwb scenario. The other single one threw herself at him at a party and they never stopped meeting up. My best friend (the one with attraction problems) is easily more attractive than college roommate, in fact we are all kinda secretly jealous of his body lol, but is apathetic about the dating game because he's bitter, probably because he never understood how to be comfortable with the (rather good) hand that was dealt to him Something doesn't add up here. An attractive guy who's comfortable with himself is going to have women approaching him. If he's willing to just take what he gets he'll get laid all the time. I mean I could probably do that if I was fine with a bunch of below average to average kind of slutty chicks. So either women don't find your friend physically attractive or they can tell he's uncomfortable and avoid him if he's not getting attention from anyone. Or maybe he doesn't go out much and is never in a situation where he can meet women.
fortyninethousand322 Posted December 29, 2013 Posted December 29, 2013 Cause see I have yet another friend, he does NOTHING. I'm serious... He was my college roommate. He's currently sexually involved with 3 women; one is single, one has a bf, and one is single but propositioned him into a fwb scenario. The other single one threw herself at him at a party and they never stopped meeting up. My best friend (the one with attraction problems) is easily more attractive than college roommate, in fact we are all kinda secretly jealous of his body lol, but is apathetic about the dating game because he's bitter, probably because he never understood how to be comfortable with the (rather good) hand that was dealt to him Yeah and I didn't have to put much effort into my history homework in high school but got straight A's, while some of my classmates spent hours on end struggling with it. Everybody has a different talent level for different things...
Author Sand Man Dan Posted December 29, 2013 Author Posted December 29, 2013 Something doesn't add up here. An attractive guy who's comfortable with himself is going to have women approaching him. If he's willing to just take what he gets he'll get laid all the time. I mean I could probably do that if I was fine with a bunch of below average to average kind of slutty chicks. So either women don't find your friend physically attractive or they can tell he's uncomfortable and avoid him if he's not getting attention from anyone. Or maybe he doesn't go out much and is never in a situation where he can meet women. Yeah, I think I'm gonna ask him if he's just got a problem talking to women.
MrCastle Posted December 29, 2013 Posted December 29, 2013 Something doesn't add up here. An attractive guy who's comfortable with himself is going to have women approaching him. If he's willing to just take what he gets he'll get laid all the time. I mean I could probably do that if I was fine with a bunch of below average to average kind of slutty chicks. So either women don't find your friend physically attractive or they can tell he's uncomfortable and avoid him if he's not getting attention from anyone. Or maybe he doesn't go out much and is never in a situation where he can meet women. Lol. I don't know about that one. I do well when I make moves. I can count on one hand the amount of times a woman has approached me. If I waited around for them to come to me, I'd be nowhere. And usually when I do approach and we've gotten to know each other, they admit "I'm glad you approached me because I was very attracted to you." So a lot of women, despite being attracted to the guy, still wait for him to make his move. I know some good looking guys who think all they need to do is show up and they'll go home with somebody but that's not the case. Even physically attractive men have to work. As far as options go -- too many variables in play. Successful people can go through dry spells all the time, for a variety of reasons. Sometimes there are no viable options to be had. 1
BikerAccnt Posted December 29, 2013 Posted December 29, 2013 Yeah, pretty normal. I was married and went years without sex :/ Been in a real dry spell lately too. Of course, I've not been going out of my way to much to change that, so, no one to blame buy myself really.
TheGuard13 Posted December 29, 2013 Posted December 29, 2013 I'm going to second, third, fourth the "put in effort" thing. You might have tons of women approach you. You still have to put in some effort if you want to get laid. 2
Biscous Posted December 29, 2013 Posted December 29, 2013 I'm going through a 'dry spell' now, but I will say that even the past month I know a few women that would want to have sex with me but I'm not attracted to them.
Onethirtyeight Posted December 29, 2013 Posted December 29, 2013 (edited) Lol. I don't know about that one. I do well when I make moves. I can count on one hand the amount of times a woman has approached me. If I waited around for them to come to me, I'd be nowhere. And usually when I do approach and we've gotten to know each other, they admit "I'm glad you approached me because I was very attracted to you." So a lot of women, despite being attracted to the guy, still wait for him to make his move. I know some good looking guys who think all they need to do is show up and they'll go home with somebody but that's not the case. Even physically attractive men have to work. As far as options go -- too many variables in play. Successful people can go through dry spells all the time, for a variety of reasons. Sometimes there are no viable options to be had. Ok that was a bit of an exaggeration. What I'm talking about are the guys who look good, are really comfortable, and all they have to do is ask for sex. They just have to show up somewhere and the women find them and they just have casual conversation that leads to him suggesting they do something. They don't have to pick up women or talk to a dozen in a night to find someone to go sleep with if that's all they're looking for. You know the situation I'm talking about. The one where a woman finds some guy and she positions herself for a particular guy to pick her up. All he has to do is say hi. I'm not a remarkably attractive guy and women I'm not interested in do that pretty much every time I go out. This is maybe the one situation where a man doesn't have to put in any real effort because he already knows what the answer is. Being that type of guy and willing to take whatever comes your way is playing that game on easy. Edited December 29, 2013 by Onethirtyeight
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