AC/DC1 Posted December 29, 2013 Posted December 29, 2013 Basically to cut long story short, I went out with my ex for two years and it was amazing. We were both each others first relationships and we broke up when she went to University. 3 years have passed and we never spoke to each other as we had a few issues, the main one being overly jealous of her male friends. When away she had a boyfriend for two years and broke up before coming back as apparently things were moving to fast between them, or so iv'e heard through mutual friends. Over this time I dont think I ever really got over her but I had dated a few people and went out clubbing n such. She recently came back from University and has rejoined our friendship group, I started speaking to her again and we hit it off well, we spent a few nights together and we started seeing each other, going out to places n such. One night however my friend starts flirting with her and I loose it, go mad and almost get into a fight with him as he knows full well how I feel about her. Since then she has started seeing him outside of our friendship group much like we had before and we don't speak very much anymore. We have had a few arguments and discussions about us and she thinks that we would be better suited as friends and that I should get over her and move on. I dont want to, and Ive not been out with the group for a few months now, but its not fair on them and I want to make an effort to come back. Its a delicate position as we are all such close friends. I love her and want her to be in my life, but on the other hand dont want to fall into the friendzone and watch as she slips through my hands as I dont want her to think im okay with her dating my friend. How should I act to potentially win her back? Do you think I should have a plan? How do I avoid falling into the friendzone? Is there something I should do to show her the person I was, not the person I have become from all this?
strive Posted December 29, 2013 Posted December 29, 2013 It sucks when you have to split friends. My ex and I were part of a group of friends and we've all known each other for almost 10 years. It sucks that he got them in the split, and while I've been dying to reach out to them I don't want them to start choosing sides, or worse stubbornly stay in the middle and make everything awkward and painful for everyone involved. Especially since I can't stand seeing my ex's face. If you find a solution to your situation let me know. I sure need some good advice too. As for your ex, you're showing her you haven't changed at all when at the first sign of flirting you lose it. You're not even together so you have no right to be angry. Maybe try working on your jealousy issue first? 1
Author AC/DC1 Posted December 29, 2013 Author Posted December 29, 2013 Thats part of the problem My friends want me to be okay, but on the other foot they believe I over reacted and that my friend has every right to be with her. Although I have come to realise they are to an extent right, inside I feel a little betrayed by everyone. I realise that jelousy is the reason which has driven a wedge between us this whole time, but Im not quite sure how to show her I can handle it as it seems like a very passive thing to show, that I dont react? I hope you get your problems sorted soon also :S
Author AC/DC1 Posted December 29, 2013 Author Posted December 29, 2013 Anymore input greatly appreciated
Haydn Posted December 29, 2013 Posted December 29, 2013 Work on your jealousy issues. Jealously is serious ugly and deeply unattractive. Anymore input greatly appreciated
Author AC/DC1 Posted December 29, 2013 Author Posted December 29, 2013 Ive been trying to handle my emotions when Im around her. How do you think I would be able to show this to her?
Haydn Posted December 29, 2013 Posted December 29, 2013 Ignore her. And even if she contacts you, ignore. Work on yourself first. Be comfortable with yourself before you even think of contact. Then once you are you may have lost the urge to contact her. Ive been trying to handle my emotions when Im around her. How do you think I would be able to show this to her?
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