Emotions Posted December 29, 2013 Posted December 29, 2013 I was the other woman in my case....and this man lied to me about his woman. But I decided NOT to be the other woman bc he would never truly give me what I want and I will only be hurting more in the end. On December 20th I decided to go cold turkey from him. On Christmas he texted me merry Christmas....and I wrote back...I feel like that set me back 100 feet. I sit here and I think about how he has not said a word to me since his merry Christmas text and it makes me realize I mean nothing to him. I vowed to not write him again....if on New Years I get a happy New Years, I will ignore that too... My main question is, since I am going cold turkey from him, will he start to wonder why? Doesn't seem like it bc he hasn't contacted me at all.....I guess I really want to know do these cheaters ever say to themselves "wow I haven't heard from ______"? 1
Cocochai Posted December 29, 2013 Posted December 29, 2013 I was the other woman in my case....and this man lied to me about his woman. But I decided NOT to be the other woman bc he would never truly give me what I want and I will only be hurting more in the end. On December 20th I decided to go cold turkey from him. On Christmas he texted me merry Christmas....and I wrote back...I feel like that set me back 100 feet. I sit here and I think about how he has not said a word to me since his merry Christmas text and it makes me realize I mean nothing to him. I vowed to not write him again....if on New Years I get a happy New Years, I will ignore that too... My main question is, since I am going cold turkey from him, will he start to wonder why? Doesn't seem like it bc he hasn't contacted me at all.....I guess I really want to know do these cheaters ever say to themselves "wow I haven't heard from ______"? Hmm I would be wondering too but perhaps it was his way of seeing if you'll respond back. According to what I've been reading on here, the MM tend to be more distance around the holidays... Which is why I decided enough was enough. You already said you don't want to be the OW. Keep the NC if you don't want to fall into that category.
Mickey_Fitzpatrick Posted December 29, 2013 Posted December 29, 2013 I was the other woman in my case....and this man lied to me about his woman. But I decided NOT to be the other woman bc he would never truly give me what I want and I will only be hurting more in the end. On December 20th I decided to go cold turkey from him. On Christmas he texted me merry Christmas....and I wrote back...I feel like that set me back 100 feet. I sit here and I think about how he has not said a word to me since his merry Christmas text and it makes me realize I mean nothing to him. I vowed to not write him again....if on New Years I get a happy New Years, I will ignore that too... My main question is, since I am going cold turkey from him, will he start to wonder why? Doesn't seem like it bc he hasn't contacted me at all.....I guess I really want to know do these cheaters ever say to themselves "wow I haven't heard from ______"? He already knows why. He also probably thinks he can come back to you at any time and you will take him back. I don't think this type of thinking is unique to other woman situations or unique to men vs. women. There is a balance of power in every relationship, and he feels he has it in yours. He knows you need him more than he needs you. Over the years I have seen guys keep several women on the line, lying to each one in turn. I have seen women do this to guys, too. These were all single people, but I think the general principle is the same here.
Realist3 Posted December 29, 2013 Posted December 29, 2013 (edited) I was the other woman in my case....and this man lied to me about his woman. But I decided NOT to be the other woman bc he would never truly give me what I want and I will only be hurting more in the end. On December 20th I decided to go cold turkey from him. On Christmas he texted me merry Christmas....and I wrote back...I feel like that set me back 100 feet. I sit here and I think about how he has not said a word to me since his merry Christmas text and it makes me realize I mean nothing to him. I vowed to not write him again....if on New Years I get a happy New Years, I will ignore that too... My main question is, since I am going cold turkey from him, will he start to wonder why? Doesn't seem like it bc he hasn't contacted me at all.....I guess I really want to know do these cheaters ever say to themselves "wow I haven't heard from ______"? First off, did you tell him you were going NC? If not, why not? Secondly, your post is contradictory. You decide to go no contact, but because he didn't contact you after Christmas(4 days ago) you make the assumption that you don't mean anything to him? It is not very difficult to tell when someone is pulling back in a relationship. It sounds from here that you were using NC as some sort of a test. You wanted him to chase you, but he didn't chase you enough. Conversely, should he not assume he doesn't mean anything to you? Of course he will wonder why. Suddenly not talking to someone you are involved with regularly is an immature way to handle a situation like this. Tell him you want out. Don't make him guess. Edited December 29, 2013 by Realist3 2
Popsicle Posted December 29, 2013 Posted December 29, 2013 If you've complained to him before about how you feel about the affair, he already knows why. And, yes, he probably does miss you too, but he knows that he's in the dog house and there's nothing he can do to change the situation.
Recommended Posts