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Revenge??

MetTheWrongOne

By MetTheWrongOne
in Breaks and Breaking Up

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MetTheWrongOne New Member

MetTheWrongOne

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I currently feel a deep hatred for my ex. Guess you can say I'm definitely in the anger stage. I'm not sure why because its not the type of person I typically am, but I feel a very real desire to get revenge/get even/make him miserable if even for a minute.

 

Has anyone else ever felt this way? If so, did you acronym it, and what did you do?

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MetTheWrongOne New Member

MetTheWrongOne

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Basically had a double life. Found out he had a serious girlfriend he was with with he started pursuing me. Was dating us both the entire time. I had no idea.

 

He has no remorse. The other girl stayed with him. So he gets to be happy while I am a complete mess.

 

I literally cannot comprehend it and am re-playing everything in my mind. I just don't get how someone can do this to someone. And how I didn't know. I feel like a fool.

radioguy11 Member

radioguy11

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I think the best revenge is changing yourself and showing him that he's not in control and that you're fine without him. Even if you're not right now.

 

Everyone wants what they can't have.

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reddragon588 Established Member

reddragon588

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The best revenge is improving yourself and making him realize what a mistake he made.

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MetTheWrongOne New Member

MetTheWrongOne

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The best revenge is improving yourself and making him realize what a mistake he made.

 

I hate when people say this. He doesn't care.

 

And I don't need to improve. i didn't do anything wrong. I'm in shape, successful, a really nice person.

 

I just don't want him to be happy.

Elias33 Established Member

Elias33

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Before you embark on a journey of revenge, dig two graves. As the old saying goes.

 

And this is true. Don't allow this guy to make you miserable even though he is out of your life. Although revenge seems like something you deserve, it is rather toxic and keeps you from progressing. It really doesn't matter what he thinks. And his happiness isn't real, deep down he knows this. How can one if one has to manipulate two human beings just to attempt a state of happiness?

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pickflicker Established Member

pickflicker

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I hate when people say this. He doesn't care.

 

And I don't need to improve. i didn't do anything wrong. I'm in shape, successful, a really nice person.

 

I just don't want him to be happy.

 

Reddragon in is correct. There is another thread with another poster asking the same questions re: revenge. Ultimately, it it's a foolish pursuit and you will end up more upset than you are now.

 

And there's always room for improvement! Continuing NC is a good place to start.

WYSWYG Established Member

WYSWYG

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I remember having evil plans for revenge on my BU two years ago and now I'm glad it didn't happen. At times, I get the same vengeful feeling when my girl dumped me two months ago. I'm sticking w/ my intuition of not doing anything I will forever regret - she's my ex now. At times cruel, insensitive, and condescending and left me for another dude. But that girl is someones daughter, sister, cousin, niece etc and they were nice to me and don't need to see her hurt.

 

I hope you won't let your anger affect your future. Your ex is a douche but trust me, he too will be hurting one day. They will, we all do at some point.

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MetTheWrongOne New Member

MetTheWrongOne

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Reddragon in is correct. There is another thread with another poster asking the same questions re: revenge. Ultimately, it it's a foolish pursuit and you will end up more upset than you are now.

 

And there's always room for improvement! Continuing NC is a good place to start.

 

I actually was just reading his thread. I completely feel the same way he does. Why do ****ty people get to be happy and continue on like nothing's wrong?

 

He created a complete mess. And I'm the only one left to fix it. NOT OK!!

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pickflicker Established Member

pickflicker

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I actually was just reading his thread. I completely feel the same way he does. Why do ****ty people get to be happy and continue on like nothing's wrong?

 

He created a complete mess. And I'm the only one left to fix it. NOT OK!!

 

Well, generally we do have to fix ourselves after a break up. Even if the break up was amicable. The ex is responsible for their own emotional backyard, and you are responsible for yours.

deathandtaxes Established Member

deathandtaxes

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I actually was just reading his thread. I completely feel the same way he does. Why do ****ty people get to be happy and continue on like nothing's wrong?

 

He created a complete mess. And I'm the only one left to fix it. NOT OK!!

 

 

 

You're ASSUMING he's happy. Stop giving two ****s what your ex is or is not feeling. It's over. I'm sorry. Revenge won't solve anything. It will do more harm to YOU than anything else.

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Emotions Member

Emotions

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I am going through the EXACT SAME THING!!! This guy hurt me and I'm wondering why I have to suffer....he lied to me about his gf and I got left hurt and he gets to live happily with his gf. I ask God why did he bring this person I my life? I didn't pursue this unavailable man, he pursued me! But I have to suffer, be depressed, cry every day, wanna seek revenge, wonder why he's happy and I'm miserable....

reddragon588 Established Member

reddragon588

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And I don't need to improve. i didn't do anything wrong. I'm in shape, successful, a really nice person.

 

No offense, but there is no one in the entire world that can't stand to improve themselves. No one is perfect.

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LadyM Established Member

LadyM

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You are NOT the fool.

 

He is, by far. He is the one who lacks integrity and a conscience. He is the cheat and the liar. The girl he is with now is likely to become a victim of the same unscrupulous ways.

 

You are the lucky one. To be away from that bad man. He is ruthless and numb to the feelings of others.

 

Revenge? More like, thank your lucky stars you got away before it got more serious.

 

Karma will get to him. You don't have to do a thing.

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Kizza Established Member

Kizza

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It is normal to have thoughts of revenge. Carrying through with any of them though will not change your situation or make you feel any better. Trust me.

 

The anger stage will pass eventually and you will move on.

 

Enacting revenge will only drag you down to his level and you need to be better than that.

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Poppyolive Established Member

Poppyolive

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Take all that energy that you are putting into "seeking revenge thoughts" and put that energy into you. Hold your head up high and be grateful that you now know what you know...you've wasted enough time on the assclown.

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headinthecloud Established Member

headinthecloud

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Basically had a double life. Found out he had a serious girlfriend he was with with he started pursuing me. Was dating us both the entire time. I had no idea.

 

He has no remorse. The other girl stayed with him. So he gets to be happy while I am a complete mess.

 

I literally cannot comprehend it and am re-playing everything in my mind. I just don't get how someone can do this to someone. And how I didn't know. I feel like a fool.

 

I read a quote somewhere that I think would apply here....

 

"The best revenge is the bitch that he ends up with."

 

The anger you feel is normal, it's the betrayal and disbelief that you could be so wrong in your judgement. I felt the same way. In time it gets better, but only time will heal...and posting here. After some work on yourself you'll start to feel indifference. Try to refocus all those thoughts on bettering yourself rather than focusing on how he goes through life seemingly unrepentant and without punishment for treating people with such a disgusting lack of respect. It is what it is. You have zero control over that. So try to focus only on what you can control....you and your behaviors. Just be thankful you didn't lose years of your life to him.

 

Not all men are like him so let the scars heal and find someone genuine and honest. He's out there, and hes looking for you too.

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Softie Established Member

Softie

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Best revenge - living well, extremely well being the best you can be, without them.

 

The anger you feel subdue then will pass.

 

Use your anger as a focus to say f*** you I'll show you, to push yourself in life whether it's down the gym, at work, new class, a hobby, going out. Found it worked for me.

fixing Established Member

fixing

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Look, what he did to you is borderline evil. He's a Sociopath. Its natural you want payback.

Sadly anything you do now to interfere with him and her will only make him and her feel better and closer with eachother.

 

He will get to feel like the most sexiest guy on the planet if you go doing anything to him, it will boost his ego ten fold!!

 

The best form of revenge is silence. It will leave him thinking 'Wow, i thought my ex loved me? How the hell can she just cut ME off just like that? I obviously meant nothing to her!?'

 

DO NOTHING.

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True Gent Established Member

True Gent

Posted
Posted
I currently feel a deep hatred for my ex. Guess you can say I'm definitely in the anger stage. I'm not sure why because its not the type of person I typically am, but I feel a very real desire to get revenge/get even/make him miserable if even for a minute.

 

Has anyone else ever felt this way? If so, did you acronym it, and what did you do?

 

Yes I'm feeling this often at the moment...

 

I feel anger because after 9 years of treating her like a queen, supporting her emotionally and financially just to be dropped like a shot for another 'new and exciting' guy really annoys me!

 

I'm left in a shell of a home with our dogs, she hasn't bothered to take all of her stuff. I'm alone while she's doing whatever with her new boyfriend. He pursued her while she was with me so I feel anger towards him too!

 

What do I do about it? I've started seeing much more of my friends and family.I'm on the dating scene again and have Been on two dates already and made contact with a few others. I'm buying new clothes and gadgets, I'm moving house in February. I have stopped contact with her.

 

I'm living my own life basically!

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theonlyjuan Established Member

theonlyjuan

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Best revenge

 

 

Disappear from her life and live well.

 

I stopped talking to my ex and got into really good shape. I enjoyed myself and I know it got to her, I could see it on her face every time I saw her

JDPT Established Member

JDPT

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Revenge is poisonous, you cause yourself so much harm hanging on to an aimless grudge. Learn to forgive, for the excruciating pain your ex directly or inadvertently has inflicted in you. At times, it's just best to let things go, it isn't worth pursuing pain. Focus on you and once you rid yourself of this "responsibility" you have to avenge, you will feel better and sort your emotions to align them with what truly matters which is you.

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fixing Established Member

fixing

Posted
Posted
Yes I'm feeling this often at the moment...

 

I feel anger because after 9 years of treating her like a queen, supporting her emotionally and financially just to be dropped like a shot for another 'new and exciting' guy really annoys me!

 

I'm left in a shell of a home with our dogs, she hasn't bothered to take all of her stuff. I'm alone while she's doing whatever with her new boyfriend. He pursued her while she was with me so I feel anger towards him too!

 

What do I do about it? I've started seeing much more of my friends and family.I'm on the dating scene again and have Been on two dates already and made contact with a few others. I'm buying new clothes and gadgets, I'm moving house in February. I have stopped contact with her.

 

I'm living my own life basically!

 

What your ex did to you sir is truly unforgiveable. Im glad you are finally no contact. And please continue dating. Also, those dogs are yours now! She abandoned them just like she did to you!

I love Dogs, they are the most loyal of creatures on the planet. Its a shame its so rare to find humans so loyal.

 

Keep up the no contact

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  • 2 weeks later...
Mondmellonw Established Member

Mondmellonw

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I kind of feel your pain, MetTheWrongOne.

I was on a relationship with someone who never had any closure with his previous ex, and I never knew any of this, cause he made it public when he "broke up" with her and all of all mutual friends knew it.

However, I had a gut feeling the whole time. When I decided to left, he talked to her again, they had sex, he convinced her of that I manipulated him onto our relationship, and now he is dating one of my girl friends....

At first I felt sad, but now I am really angry too.

He is manipulating everything to make me look like I was the worst thing ever.

 

The thing is, I'll use this feeling to get away from this. I will learn a lot, and I don't want to play the games they're playing.

Hopefully, you'll get what you deserve someday. Don't give that idiot any other part of you.

Edited by Mondmellonw
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