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Having doubts, still love him but saw him doing something I didn't like at all

RosieDunne

By RosieDunne
in Long-Distance Relationships

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RosieDunne Established Member

RosieDunne

Posted
Posted

Hi, me again, some of you probably recognise me from my constant moaning a few weeks ago! (sorry!)

Basically I just wanted to get some of my thoughts down somewhere where I can talk about them, and get some second opinions because I'm a bit lost :(

 

(just a quick background - he's 21, I'm 19, I'm at university and he lives at home about 2 hours away so I only see him on weekends) About 2 months ago me and my boyfriend hit a really rough patch and nearly broke up for good, he said he thought we were dysfunctional and it wasn't working and I felt the same. When I came home that weekend he kept apologising saying he "didn't know what he was thinking" and that he "didn't mean it, he'd just been feeling a bit lonely so said stuff he didn't mean". Anyway, it's been a while since that happened now and things with us are good again and back to normal but I still feel a bit strange. To be told by him that he doesn't feel like we work anymore, to have him tell me I'm more of a friend than a girlfriend really hurt me (whether he meant it or not) and he realises this and it really upsets him that I feel like that and he tells me to forget about what he said, that it was all rubbish and "there's noone in the world he cares about more and wants to be with" (his words). Still, I can't help but feel a bit lost now. Whatever it was that brought that on, what's to say it won't happen again? And I really didn't like the way he spoke to me through it all, he said some really hurtful things and it's hard to look past them. It seems silly to keep thinking about this now we're over and past it and things are good with us (plus he got me a really lovely and thoughtful and perfect christmas present so I feel bad even saying any of this). I do love him, a lot. But I don't know how I feel. We don't really have sex and I'm upset about that lack of intimacy but over the year and a half I've managed to get over it more, but now with this worry that he doesn't really love me constantly looming over me (even though he tells me otherwise) I just have some doubts. I want us to be together, to work, but not if it just means me continually getting hurt like this. Things are ok now, they are, so I'm just going to see how things go because we're happy again now but there's something that happened last week that I really want to talk about...

 

So, I did a really bad thing - a lot of people on here were telling me that they were convinced he was cheating on me because of the lack of sex in our relationship, so I couldn't help myself but check. It's really really bad, I know, and I feel terrible for doing it. But he left his facebook logged in and I wanted to know what he really thought about me. Around the week when he almost broke up with me I read a conversation saying things along the lines of "she's said a few times she wants to leave me so I'm thinking of ending things" This makes me think it's all my fault that we nearly broke up!! I don't know where he got it from that I said that, but evidently he got it from somewhere so maybe it is my fault, maybe he wasn't just being a dick for no reason? I did say I'd thought about ending things but only AFTER he'd said it first. I don't know, it seems to me like he was just trying to make out to his friend that it wasn't his fault, but I thought men liked to brag about being the ones to end a relationship? Anyway, he continued to say "my next girlfriend will have to be a D cup, minimum." This actually really upset me. I know he finds my breasts inadequate, I'm a C, sometimes D cup but he treats me like I have hardly any boobs at all. He has this obsession with big boobs that always makes me feel inadequate and the fact that he won't have sex with me hardly ever makes me feel even worse about my body. I've actually considered breast surgery which I'd never even thought of before in my life because I thought it was silly. But since meeting him I feel pretty unattractive, and that comment didn't help. I suppose it's my own fault for nosing. I then read another comment of his to a different one of his friends, this was a while ago but he said "you can't be with someone you don't have sex with" which makes me realise he actually feels the same, he's unsatisfied with the amount we have sex as well, so what I don't get is why won't he do it with me if he wants it??!! He also said "she's just too cute, like a ****ing cartoon character." Which answers my question. He always tells me that, but I always thought it was in a nice way, that comment wasn't meant in a nice way. How do I be less cute and more sexy?? I've tried everything. But then he tells me he doesn't want me to change and wants me to be cute so how can I win??! Anyway, I did find out for CERTAIN that he's not once been unfaithful to me. He was talking about it to BOTH friends, saying that he never wants to hurt me and he'd never ever cheat on me or even consider kissing anyone else. So that made me feel a bit bad for not trusting him.

 

But then, this happened. Last weekend, I went out with my friends and he came as well, we all went to the pub and got drunk. There was a lot of us and I lost track of where he'd gone. After about half an hour I started to get a bit worried about where he was because I knew he didn't know my friends too well and I was worried I'd abandoned him. I had a look for him in the pub and couldn't find him so I rang him. He picked it up and sounded really drunk so wasn't saying much coherently. I asked him where he was and he said something but it was really loud and I couldn't hear and he accidentally hung up. It took about 6 phonecalls to get it out of him that he'd gone with a bunch of our group to another pub and that I should come. So me and my friend went to find them there. When I got there about half an hour later, I walked into the pub and saw him with his hand on one of my friend's friends' waist. He was leaned over and was talking in her ear. I just stood there like I had been smacked in the face, I couldn't move. Yeah, perhaps it was innocent, but I didn't like the look of it one bit. I just stood there and he looked up, caught sight of me and looked really bashful. I just turned around and walked right out of the pub. Before I could get out, he'd come running up behind me and grabbed my arm. He kept saying it was nothing it was nothing, he was just trying to "make friends" because he's lonely at the moment and doesn't really have any friends at home anymore. I was so upset by it, I came back into the pub but it took me a long while to be able to look at him again. I tried to catch the girl, so I could ask her what exactly he was saying to her, but I couldn't get her on her own to ask. I asked my friend if he'd seen what happened and he said he didn't know, with a really pitying look on his face because he saw the whole thing. I just felt really really embarassed and upset. He'd totally humiliated and upset me in front of all my friends. Anyway, I gave up trying to be sociable and just went back to his house (I didn't have a choice, my house was too far away) he was SO drunk, he kept collapsing on the floor, it took a lot of effort to get him home so at least I know he wasn't in his right mind... He got home and was sick a LOT and was SO SO drunk, he just passed out and didn't wake up again all night. I stayed awake a long time, thinking about what had happened. I was texting my friend about it and she said that my boyfriend had kissed that girl I'd seen him with, not properly kissed, just a quick peck on the lips, after doing the same thing to one of my gay friends so I think it was just a silly thing, like people sometimes do. Still, I didn't like it AT ALL. In the morning he could see I was upset as soon as I woke up and asked what was wrong. I told him that a lot of people told me he'd kissed that girl and about his hand being on her waist and whispering in her ear. He was SO shocked he just said what the **** why would I have done that?!? He was so angry with himself, really really taken aback that he would have done something like that. He couldn't remember a THING from that night so he was really really drunk, totally out of his right mind. He kept apologising over and over and saying what a terrible thing it was he'd done and that he wanted noone but me and that he loved me and that he didn't even find that girl attractive, he was just so drunk he didnt know what he was doing. That day he threw up the ENTIRE day, he was constantly being sick and I was actually really worried about him so I couldn't be mad at him. He was really seriously ill, I actually thought about taking him to hospital at one point. Anyway, he tried everything he could to make it up to me even though he kept being sick, continually saying how sorry he was and how it would NEVER happen again. I haven't seen him since because it's been christmas and I was at my grandad's house. Anyway I need to know how I'm meant to feel about this..? Should I still be angry, should I have even forgiven him? I'm not really angry about it anymore, I know it was a mistake, he was so drunk and I know I've done things without even realising when I'm that drunk. These things happen. But should they happen when you have a girlfriend? I can understand that sometimes you are too drunk out of your head to realise what you're doing. But I still don't like it. Do I just let it go or is it something that needs more attention?

ExpatInItaly Established Member

ExpatInItaly

Posted
Posted
Hi, me again, some of you probably recognise me from my constant moaning a few weeks ago! (sorry!)

Basically I just wanted to get some of my thoughts down somewhere where I can talk about them, and get some second opinions because I'm a bit lost :(

 

(just a quick background - he's 21, I'm 19, I'm at university and he lives at home about 2 hours away so I only see him on weekends) About 2 months ago me and my boyfriend hit a really rough patch and nearly broke up for good, he said he thought we were dysfunctional and it wasn't working and I felt the same. When I came home that weekend he kept apologising saying he "didn't know what he was thinking" and that he "didn't mean it, he'd just been feeling a bit lonely so said stuff he didn't mean". Anyway, it's been a while since that happened now and things with us are good again and back to normal but I still feel a bit strange. To be told by him that he doesn't feel like we work anymore, to have him tell me I'm more of a friend than a girlfriend really hurt me (whether he meant it or not) and he realises this and it really upsets him that I feel like that and he tells me to forget about what he said, that it was all rubbish and "there's noone in the world he cares about more and wants to be with" (his words). Still, I can't help but feel a bit lost now. Whatever it was that brought that on, what's to say it won't happen again? And I really didn't like the way he spoke to me through it all, he said some really hurtful things and it's hard to look past them. It seems silly to keep thinking about this now we're over and past it and things are good with us (plus he got me a really lovely and thoughtful and perfect christmas present so I feel bad even saying any of this). I do love him, a lot. But I don't know how I feel. We don't really have sex and I'm upset about that lack of intimacy but over the year and a half I've managed to get over it more, but now with this worry that he doesn't really love me constantly looming over me (even though he tells me otherwise) I just have some doubts. I want us to be together, to work, but not if it just means me continually getting hurt like this. Things are ok now, they are, so I'm just going to see how things go because we're happy again now but there's something that happened last week that I really want to talk about...

 

So, I did a really bad thing - a lot of people on here were telling me that they were convinced he was cheating on me because of the lack of sex in our relationship, so I couldn't help myself but check. It's really really bad, I know, and I feel terrible for doing it. But he left his facebook logged in and I wanted to know what he really thought about me. Around the week when he almost broke up with me I read a conversation saying things along the lines of "she's said a few times she wants to leave me so I'm thinking of ending things" This makes me think it's all my fault that we nearly broke up!! I don't know where he got it from that I said that, but evidently he got it from somewhere so maybe it is my fault, maybe he wasn't just being a dick for no reason? I did say I'd thought about ending things but only AFTER he'd said it first. I don't know, it seems to me like he was just trying to make out to his friend that it wasn't his fault, but I thought men liked to brag about being the ones to end a relationship? Anyway, he continued to say "my next girlfriend will have to be a D cup, minimum." This actually really upset me. I know he finds my breasts inadequate, I'm a C, sometimes D cup but he treats me like I have hardly any boobs at all. He has this obsession with big boobs that always makes me feel inadequate and the fact that he won't have sex with me hardly ever makes me feel even worse about my body. I've actually considered breast surgery which I'd never even thought of before in my life because I thought it was silly. But since meeting him I feel pretty unattractive, and that comment didn't help. I suppose it's my own fault for nosing. I then read another comment of his to a different one of his friends, this was a while ago but he said "you can't be with someone you don't have sex with" which makes me realise he actually feels the same, he's unsatisfied with the amount we have sex as well, so what I don't get is why won't he do it with me if he wants it??!! He also said "she's just too cute, like a ****ing cartoon character." Which answers my question. He always tells me that, but I always thought it was in a nice way, that comment wasn't meant in a nice way. How do I be less cute and more sexy?? I've tried everything. But then he tells me he doesn't want me to change and wants me to be cute so how can I win??! Anyway, I did find out for CERTAIN that he's not once been unfaithful to me. He was talking about it to BOTH friends, saying that he never wants to hurt me and he'd never ever cheat on me or even consider kissing anyone else. So that made me feel a bit bad for not trusting him.

 

But then, this happened. Last weekend, I went out with my friends and he came as well, we all went to the pub and got drunk. There was a lot of us and I lost track of where he'd gone. After about half an hour I started to get a bit worried about where he was because I knew he didn't know my friends too well and I was worried I'd abandoned him. I had a look for him in the pub and couldn't find him so I rang him. He picked it up and sounded really drunk so wasn't saying much coherently. I asked him where he was and he said something but it was really loud and I couldn't hear and he accidentally hung up. It took about 6 phonecalls to get it out of him that he'd gone with a bunch of our group to another pub and that I should come. So me and my friend went to find them there. When I got there about half an hour later, I walked into the pub and saw him with his hand on one of my friend's friends' waist. He was leaned over and was talking in her ear. I just stood there like I had been smacked in the face, I couldn't move. Yeah, perhaps it was innocent, but I didn't like the look of it one bit. I just stood there and he looked up, caught sight of me and looked really bashful. I just turned around and walked right out of the pub. Before I could get out, he'd come running up behind me and grabbed my arm. He kept saying it was nothing it was nothing, he was just trying to "make friends" because he's lonely at the moment and doesn't really have any friends at home anymore. I was so upset by it, I came back into the pub but it took me a long while to be able to look at him again. I tried to catch the girl, so I could ask her what exactly he was saying to her, but I couldn't get her on her own to ask. I asked my friend if he'd seen what happened and he said he didn't know, with a really pitying look on his face because he saw the whole thing. I just felt really really embarassed and upset. He'd totally humiliated and upset me in front of all my friends. Anyway, I gave up trying to be sociable and just went back to his house (I didn't have a choice, my house was too far away) he was SO drunk, he kept collapsing on the floor, it took a lot of effort to get him home so at least I know he wasn't in his right mind... He got home and was sick a LOT and was SO SO drunk, he just passed out and didn't wake up again all night. I stayed awake a long time, thinking about what had happened. I was texting my friend about it and she said that my boyfriend had kissed that girl I'd seen him with, not properly kissed, just a quick peck on the lips, after doing the same thing to one of my gay friends so I think it was just a silly thing, like people sometimes do. Still, I didn't like it AT ALL. In the morning he could see I was upset as soon as I woke up and asked what was wrong. I told him that a lot of people told me he'd kissed that girl and about his hand being on her waist and whispering in her ear. He was SO shocked he just said what the **** why would I have done that?!? He was so angry with himself, really really taken aback that he would have done something like that. He couldn't remember a THING from that night so he was really really drunk, totally out of his right mind. He kept apologising over and over and saying what a terrible thing it was he'd done and that he wanted noone but me and that he loved me and that he didn't even find that girl attractive, he was just so drunk he didnt know what he was doing. That day he threw up the ENTIRE day, he was constantly being sick and I was actually really worried about him so I couldn't be mad at him. He was really seriously ill, I actually thought about taking him to hospital at one point. Anyway, he tried everything he could to make it up to me even though he kept being sick, continually saying how sorry he was and how it would NEVER happen again. I haven't seen him since because it's been christmas and I was at my grandad's house. Anyway I need to know how I'm meant to feel about this..? Should I still be angry, should I have even forgiven him? I'm not really angry about it anymore, I know it was a mistake, he was so drunk and I know I've done things without even realising when I'm that drunk. These things happen. But should they happen when you have a girlfriend? I can understand that sometimes you are too drunk out of your head to realise what you're doing. But I still don't like it. Do I just let it go or is it something that needs more attention?

 

Wow, where to begin...

 

First of all, that comment about cup size should upset you for a couple reasons. It's insulting to you, and he's already made you feel inadequate. That is not the sign of a guy who cares much about your feelings. Furthermore, his next girlfriend? That's an indication that he's isn't all that committed to you. Honestly, that would upset me far more than the comment about size. What does that tell you about his mindset?

 

Second of all, him getting completely drunk and taking off to another pub without you is really a bad sign and completely rude. A good boyfriend wouldn't ditch his girl. What would have happened if you hadn't tracked him down? I very much doubt he'd have called to let you know where he disappeared to. That move was so unacceptable on many levels.

 

Finally, he was getting too friendly with another girl. He kissed her. And that's only what you actually know. Imagine where that could've gone if you hadn't shown up. In light of everything else, it is not forgiveable, in my opinion. He is not trustworthy, OP, and I think you know that. He feels bad he got caught, but I don't believe he's very invested in your relationship any more. How much more poor treatment are you willing to put up with? Honestly, I'd take a time-out on this relationship. There are many problems that don't bode well for a future together.

  • Like 2
LittleTiger Established Member

LittleTiger

Posted
Posted
.......since meeting him I feel pretty unattractive

 

You've written a very long post here and I will admit that I haven't read it all, but that's really because I don't need to.

 

I got as far as the phrase I've quoted and that was far enough.

 

Please don't waste your life in a relationship where you feel unattractive. When you find the right man, you will feel beautiful, sexy and adored.

 

That's a promise!

  • Like 7
Viking-Liz Member

Viking-Liz

Posted
Posted

I agree with LittleTiger. I spent several years of my life feeling like you, until I found my current hubby. If I had known back in the day how it`s supposed to feel, I would never have wasted my time on my ex.

 

It just isnt worth it.

  • Like 3
justwhoiam Established Member

justwhoiam

Posted
Posted
We don't really have sex and I'm upset about that lack of intimacy
he continued to say "my next girlfriend will have to be a D cup, minimum." This actually really upset me. I know he finds my breasts inadequate
since meeting him I feel pretty unattractive
I then read another comment of his to a different one of his friends, he said "you can't be with someone you don't have sex with"
He also said "she's just too cute, like a ****ing cartoon character."

I quoted above all the things you need to know and think of.

1) You can't be with someone who doesn't desire you sexually. I mean, were you married and stuck with him, I would consider more options, but in this case, no. He's clearly not attracted to you sexually, otherwise he'd jump on you, especially after being away from you for a while.

2) He loves you but this relationship will last for as long as you can put up with his lack of desire for you until some other girl won't be in the picture. The moment he falls hard for another girl, he'll end up breaking up with you. Now he would only lose you with no one else in sight.

3) He's not sure he can land a D-cup girl, so the thought is just on his mind right now, looking ahead. Should he have a chance, and if the girl has other features/personality that sweep him off his feet, you will lose him. At least, as a boyfriend.

4) You are a friendzoned girlfriend, and no girlfriend would like that, I guess. So your feelings are pretty justified.

 

I've actually considered breast surgery which I'd never even thought of before in my life because I thought it was silly.
My only advice regarding this is: DON'T DO IT. You can't do something like that to your body for someone, first as a general rule, secondly because you're not even sure about him, and third, because you might ruin your body with no option to go back to your natural body. I'm sure lots of guys would love you for who you are and love your natural c-cup breasts too. He's not seeing you with the right eyes. If you're not sexy to him, you'll be sexy to someone else, as LittleTiger said. We know better. Also, he's not in love with you. If he were, he'd be all :love: and wanting you bad.

 

I won't comment on his getting wildly drunk in a normal context (no heavy partying for any specific reason), leaving you with no warning, etc. Other posters already said enough on that.

 

I guess you need a break.

  • Like 2
Aquanut Established Member

Aquanut

Posted
Posted

Just save everyone some heartache and end the relationship now.

 

Some observations:

 

1. He's already checked out. It's just a matter of time before someone else comes along.

2. The relationship is not uplifting or satisfying to you.

3. You are both likely still there for fear of being alone or just momentum since it doesn't seem to be what either of you want.

4. You have violated his trust by snooping on his private conversations. Intimacy is now broken by this secret you will have to keep from him. Once you start playing Sherlock Holmes it's time to end it.

5. The guy's mind is probably warped from too much porn. He thinks women are supposed to have very large breasts. I don't know why anyone with a C cup would consider enhancement. It's absurd.

  • Like 1
SoleMate Established Member

SoleMate

Posted
Posted

Just say No to breast surgery. It's a terrible idea for a young woman with normal, healthy breasts. It damages your body, interferes with sensation, will probably prevent breastfeeding, and signs you up for a lifetime of corrective operations every 10 years or so. Not to mention leakage, toxicity, expense, pain, recovery, hardening, unnatural appearance, etc.. Also.....

 

Just say No to any man who doesn't think your breasts are beautiful.

  • Like 3
RachR Established Member

RachR

Posted
Posted (edited)

You don't need to be asking how to change yourself to be more attractive to him. You are attractive as you are, you just need to find a man who agrees with that. Don't settle for someone who constantly criticizes you for things like this. The things that Little Tiger mentioned - a person who makes you feel beautiful, sexy and adored - that's amazing, and that's who you want to be with and once you have him, you will wonder what you ever saw in this current boyfriend.

Edited by RachR
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RosieDunne Established Member

RosieDunne

Posted
  • Author
Posted (edited)

Thank you all very much for your responses!! I know the right thing in a way is to end it, I really do and I've been over that option so many times now but it's harder than that - I do still have a lot of feelings for him and I know he does for me too.

 

And things are a bit different now. We just had the most amazing new year and couple of weeks together so now I'm in doubts again as to whether this is all in my head. I know he's faithful to me, so it's not like I should be resenting him for anything like that and at New year's he gave me the best night, said he'd do whatever I wanted to do, we were at a houseparty with his mates and I was nervous because I didn't know anyone and he knew that and looked after me and said we could leave if I wanted to, where some guys would have buggered off with their friends he really looked out for me and then come midnight he kissed me even though the room was full of people and no-one else was kissing and he hates public displays of affection, he kissed me for ages it was really nice :') He treated me to drinks and said some really lovely things to me (he wasn't even drunk) We went to the pub afterwards just the two of us and he was saying to me how he really thinks things will be perfect between us this year, now that we've sorted things out and he said I'm all he's ever desired and everything he wants, he even kept asking me to promise not to leave him in the new year because he loves me so much and doesn't want anyone else but me!! So now I'm so confused because he really meant all those things, actually I'm not confused at all - I'm really happy and I have been for several weeks now, nothing has gone wrong between us, we haven't fought, we spent every day this week together and he was really initimate with me sexually, he even initiated stuff one morning and then finished within about 2 minutes and that's NEVER happened before - surely a good sign that he's attracted to me after all? We'd just woken up and he said my breasts were at a really good angle and that was enough apparently haha! So I was secretly really happy about that and basically everything just seems to be working out now. He even bought me the most thoughtful and perfect christmas present ever and he tried to buy me flowers the other day but I wouldn't let him as he had hardly any money but even though he's broke he still wants to spend his money on me which is so sweet!

 

But I'm worried Im being naive, can things really turn around this dramatically? Because I feel like if we keep going like this, exactly how things are now, everything will be perfect. He even comes over to cuddle me and kiss me now randomly which often I'd used to have to ask for before he came over (sometimes not all the time) but now he does it all the time and it's lovely :) Also about the sexual thing, it's definitely improving. I've been doing a lot of maturing over the last few months and I've become a LOT less emotional around him and I think this may be the reason? I think maybe now I'm not so weak and vulnerable he's starting to find me more attractive? Is that possible? Do you think he could be forming an attraction a bit more? I'm hoping if we keep going like this eventually he'll want to have sex with me again as well.

 

I'm just scared because things seem to keep going through phases of perfect to awful and I go from wanting to leave him to wanting to never stop kissing him, things just seem to keep going back and forwards and it's leaving me so confused. I'm getting mixed signals all over the place, a few months ago he wanted to leave me and the only reason he didn't is because he's lonely and I'm all he really has, but now he's completely changed and is treating me like a princess and begging me not to leave him! But this time it really does seem to be better than it has been before, and it seems to be consistently improving now, I'm just worried that now I have to go back to uni again and go back to seeing him only once a week or every two weeks he'll go back to having doubts again... I'm worried it's the distance that makes him have doubts about us

Edited by RosieDunne
lop98 Established Member

lop98

Posted
Posted

I was in a relationship like that. It "progressed" into me feeling supremely unattractive and somehow thankful (but still confused) he was bothering with me. I tried to end it several times even though I wasn't that sure about letting such a great man go, a man who, on top of it all, liked me enough to want to be with me. Oh the honor. He was mean enough to make me cry every other night but then he'd act all charming, or just do things that made me hopeful... and confused because I could swear I had seen the red flags but maybe it was all in my head, maybe he was just a normal man and I was prone to drama and overthinking. I was so sure I was physically and emotionally inadequate to be in a relationship.

 

Ah, how I wish now I had cut it all off right there, while I was still numb.

 

But I didn't. If there was any power in the relationship left for me to take, I handed it all to him, and he ended the relationship.... he ended it by ignoring me, just like that and I saw him jump into a new relationship days later... I was devastated and it took me months to recover from the rejection, mistreatment, disappointment, low self-esteem.

 

I met a new guy later, no mind games and playing with my insecurities and making me feel inadequate, I never felt more attractive, more confident to demonstrate all my love and passion for him. So trust me when I say that it is absolutely and completely possible to have something clean... without all the confusion and low blows, while still being intense and reciprocal.

 

My advice: end the relationship and be the most firm you've ever been about a decision. The insecurities you have about him are not going to go away and the insecurities you have about yourself now is something only you can work on and all by yourself, without having someone adding more fuel to the fire. What you two have now is by no means a solid ground to suddenly establish a healthy relationship on, instead, the next exciting stops are destructiveness, codependency and lots of pain. Also, by breaking the relationship yourself, as selfish as it sounds, you will save that last blow he WILL give you by breaking up with you, you will get back some of your self-esteem and the certainty that you still have the ability and enough amount of dignity to put a stop when someone wants to run over you (it doesn't matter if he's doing that with a truck or just by softly whispering on your ear that you have a body part he does not like- he still values THAT MUCH your emotions).

 

Do that and go NC. You're still young, work on healing, on yourself, on self-esteem and on learning where to draw the limits of the relationships you choose to have, do it now while you're still young and can learn a lesson without bigger consequences (too many years involved, kids, activities, finances...).

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