jinandjuice Posted December 28, 2013 Posted December 28, 2013 How can you tell if you are being clingy or persistent? I always initiate contact with this girl and it responds well. She will either pick up and we will talk for more than a hour, or she will call me back later and we will talk. If I text her, she will reply back. However its mainly I that initiates the contact with her. Is that being clingy?
freetolove Posted December 29, 2013 Posted December 29, 2013 dont' call her for 2 weeks and see what happens. if she doesn't call at all then she's not that into you. I've been that girl.
d0nnivain Posted December 29, 2013 Posted December 29, 2013 If you reach out because you want to talk to the other person you are persistent. If you reach out because you are afraid that if you don't maintain constant contact you will lose the other person, you are clingy. 3
Author jinandjuice Posted December 29, 2013 Author Posted December 29, 2013 If you reach out because you want to talk to the other person you are persistent. If you reach out because you are afraid that if you don't maintain constant contact you will lose the other person, you are clingy. I am a little of both . I love talking to her on the phone. I haven't felt like this since HS. I am just a little. Its just my ex's all used to call me and text me throughout the day but this new girl doesn't have the same number of volume. Maybe its because I am older and people are busier.
Author jinandjuice Posted December 29, 2013 Author Posted December 29, 2013 Also whats the longest no contact you have had with someone that you are dating? More than 1 day?
edgygirl Posted December 29, 2013 Posted December 29, 2013 I had to learn the hard way to be honest... guys these days don't want to be contacted all the time having girls initiate in the beginning when it's not a committed relationship yet. Call me conservative but most guys prefer to hunt in the beginning. I rarely initiate conversations with guys I'm talking with, until I am in a real relationship. I used to think "just call him if that's what you feel like, he'll understand". Nah. So, perhaps this girl is just like me and most of my friends. For now I would keep initiating. If she doesn't initiate after you have 'the talk', then something is wrong. 1
Author jinandjuice Posted December 29, 2013 Author Posted December 29, 2013 (edited) I had to learn the hard way to be honest... guys these days don't want to be contacted all the time having girls initiate in the beginning when it's not a committed relationship yet. Call me conservative but most guys prefer to hunt in the beginning. I rarely initiate conversations with guys I'm talking with, until I am in a real relationship. I used to think "just call him if that's what you feel like, he'll understand". Nah. So, perhaps this girl is just like me and most of my friends. For now I would keep initiating. If she doesn't initiate after you have 'the talk', then something is wrong. I suppose in the beginning it should be us setting stuff up but I feel like after a couple of dates the girl should open up and can initiate sometimes certainantly not all the time. I am not contacting the girl I am talking too, to see if she will initiate first. Anf I feel like if I have "the talk" it makes me seem clingy no? Edited December 29, 2013 by jinandjuice
edgygirl Posted December 29, 2013 Posted December 29, 2013 I suppose in the beginning it should be us setting stuff up but I feel like after a couple of dates the girl should open up and can initiate sometimes certainantly not all the time. I am not contacting the girl I am talking too, to see if she will initiate first. Anf I feel like if I have "the talk" it makes me seem clingy no? I hate when a guy who's been contacting me suddenly stops. It makes me wonder if he's a player or is testing me or what. I can only speak for myself, but after a few dates or around month dating I do prefer to have a talk to see where things are going... If it's a guy I like, why would I think he's being clingy? But of course you should go by your gut feeling specific to this relationship. 2
Author jinandjuice Posted December 29, 2013 Author Posted December 29, 2013 I hate when a guy who's been contacting me suddenly stops. It makes me wonder if he's a player or is testing me or what. I can only speak for myself, but after a few dates or around month dating I do prefer to have a talk to see where things are going... If it's a guy I like, why would I think he's being clingy? But of course you should go by your gut feeling specific to this relationship. Well I did text her this morning to say good morning and sent her a funny picture. But she didn't reply. So I am just waiting for her.
nomadic_butterfly Posted December 29, 2013 Posted December 29, 2013 How can you tell if you are being clingy or persistent? I always initiate contact with this girl and it responds well. She will either pick up and we will talk for more than a hour, or she will call me back later and we will talk. If I text her, she will reply back. However its mainly I that initiates the contact with her. Is that being clingy? Nope, not at all. If she never really responded and you kept calling and kept texting or if she told you she isn't interested and that makes you pursue her more, then yes, that's clingy. I feel mature adults should be able to contact each other as they please as so long as it isn't excessive and unsolicited. She sounds interested or else she would be playing games, responding only sometimes, being inconsistent, etc.
Author jinandjuice Posted December 29, 2013 Author Posted December 29, 2013 (edited) Nope, not at all. If she never really responded and you kept calling and kept texting or if she told you she isn't interested and that makes you pursue her more, then yes, that's clingy. I feel mature adults should be able to contact each other as they please as so long as it isn't excessive and unsolicited. She sounds interested or else she would be playing games, responding only sometimes, being inconsistent, etc. What is excessive? Could taking a day break be okay? Is it dumb not to contact her for a whole day to see if she would initiate towards me? Edited December 29, 2013 by jinandjuice
shinealight Posted December 29, 2013 Posted December 29, 2013 (edited) If you send her a message and she does not reply back then get the hint she is not that interested in you? You can always tell when someone likes you they will not stop texting you they will not stop saying i love you, i really like you cannot wait to see you again blah blah blah. But if you really like this girl tell her straight i really like you do you see anything going for us? Edited December 29, 2013 by shinealight
Author jinandjuice Posted December 29, 2013 Author Posted December 29, 2013 If you send her a message and she does not reply back then get the hint she is not that interested in you? You can always tell when someone likes you they will not stop texting you they will not stop saying i love you, i really like you cannot wait to see you again blah blah blah. But if you really like this girl tell her straight i really like you do you see anything going for us? She has said yea she sees her dating me (clearly said I wasn't in the friend zone) later but doesn't want a relationship. After she has said this I pursued her harder because I really like her as a woman and she admired it. It got us further and we progressed the relationship. Since she told me that We have kissed, made out and all that. No sex. So I don't know whether to keep pursuing because I don't want it to be clingy. She has stated she has strong feelings for me and doesn't know if she likes me or not?
shinealight Posted December 29, 2013 Posted December 29, 2013 Well it seems like you are going to have to keep asking her where are we going/heading because you don't want to be hanging about year after year. She either wants to be with you or doesn't.
ponchsox Posted December 29, 2013 Posted December 29, 2013 How can you tell if you are being clingy or persistent? I always initiate contact with this girl and it responds well. She will either pick up and we will talk for more than a hour, or she will call me back later and we will talk. If I text her, she will reply back. However its mainly I that initiates the contact with her. Is that being clingy? Initiating contact is not clingy, it's showing interest. Calling/texting her repeatedly is being clingy. 1
Author jinandjuice Posted December 30, 2013 Author Posted December 30, 2013 Say she doesnt call back my phone call the night before andI initiate texting the next day, can I call her again? Would that be to much? I call her once and if she doesn't pick up I don't text her or call her up again.
Thegreatestthing Posted December 31, 2013 Posted December 31, 2013 No I never iniate contact with a guy ever.its fine. It's when she is no replying and you continue that it's clingy. How can you tell if you are being clingy or persistent? I always initiate contact with this girl and it responds well. She will either pick up and we will talk for more than a hour, or she will call me back later and we will talk. If I text her, she will reply back. However its mainly I that initiates the contact with her. Is that being clingy?
slightly_unusual Posted December 31, 2013 Posted December 31, 2013 She has said yea she sees her dating me (clearly said I wasn't in the friend zone) later but doesn't want a relationship. After she has said this I pursued her harder because I really like her as a woman and she admired it. It got us further and we progressed the relationship. Since she told me that We have kissed, made out and all that. No sex. So I don't know whether to keep pursuing because I don't want it to be clingy. She has stated she has strong feelings for me and doesn't know if she likes me or not? shes either sending you mixed signals in which case she,s very annoying or she has no real interest in you yet enjoys the attention one hand she says she has strong feelings for you and then trouts something completely at odds with that initial statement - I don't know if I like you or not
Author jinandjuice Posted December 31, 2013 Author Posted December 31, 2013 UPDATE: So I called her again the next day and she didn't pick up. Went to sleep and woke up with a text saying she had just seen the call and left her phone in the car and was out with her friends. She said she would call back tomorrow. Should I text her back or ignore the text wait for her call? Its usually me doing the chasing and intiating the contact.
MidwestUSA Posted December 31, 2013 Posted December 31, 2013 UPDATE: So I called her again the next day and she didn't pick up. Went to sleep and woke up with a text saying she had just seen the call and left her phone in the car and was out with her friends. She said she would call back tomorrow. Should I text her back or ignore the text wait for her call? Its usually me doing the chasing and intiating the contact. You're expending a lot of energy on this girl. It's been two months, and you're clearly in the friend zone. For your own sanity, pull back and see if she even bothers to contact you. Why not start the new year with a clean slate?
Author jinandjuice Posted December 31, 2013 Author Posted December 31, 2013 You're expending a lot of energy on this girl. It's been two months, and you're clearly in the friend zone. For your own sanity, pull back and see if she even bothers to contact you. Why not start the new year with a clean slate? It's just I clearly asked her if I was in the friend zone and she honestly told me I am not in the friend zone and we have made out numerous times and have been intimate. I guess this forum is just a place to vent.
Pretty.in.Pink Posted December 31, 2013 Posted December 31, 2013 UPDATE: So I called her again the next day and she didn't pick up. Went to sleep and woke up with a text saying she had just seen the call and left her phone in the car and was out with her friends. She said she would call back tomorrow. Should I text her back or ignore the text wait for her call? Its usually me doing the chasing and intiating the contact. Let her call you back. That's what she said she would do. Initiating contact, by the way, is not clingy. It's how you progress a relationship. Repeated calls and texts, when greeted with silence, would be clingy (or not getting the message). Generally, text or call once. Give the person time to get back to you. If you don't hear back after a couple days, you can try a different medium once (in case the first medium isn't working). Then stop. It's the holidays, so I would cut her some slack. See how things evolve in the New Year. 1
MidwestUSA Posted December 31, 2013 Posted December 31, 2013 It's just I clearly asked her if I was in the friend zone and she honestly told me I am not in the friend zone and we have made out numerous times and have been intimate. I guess this forum is just a place to vent. Judge by her actions, not her words. And vent as much as you need to; it's a good thing!
Pretty.in.Pink Posted December 31, 2013 Posted December 31, 2013 It's just I clearly asked her if I was in the friend zone and she honestly told me I am not in the friend zone and we have made out numerous times and have been intimate. I guess this forum is just a place to vent. If it has been two months of this behavior, she's not really interested. Sorry.
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