I told him my feelings and now he's ignoring me, why is this??

[Purple_Haze]

Ok, first of all this guy has expressed to me many many times how much he likes me. When he gets drunk it's even worse. He'll go on and on about how much he loves me, appreciates me, and so on. He even said I "You are my girl" When we are just friends, he gets super jealous about other guys, so I don't even bring up other guys, cause he just gets really jealous. So he told me his feelings and he even said "We are soulmates" and I still talked to him.

 

 

Well I am very resistant to him. I am still unsure of him and how he really thinks of me. I have trust issues, so I am taking my time with him. Well I never told him how I really feel about him until one night I got super drunk. Below is the text conversation we had, please read. Thank you!

 

 

Dan: Merry Christmas Eve!

Me: I'm at Hollands (it's a bar) Love you

Dan: Hollands! With whom?

Me: a bunch of *******s

Dan: Amanda and Britney and a bunch of *******s???

Dan: Uh oh

Me: Yeah she hates me

Dan: Is she there? lol Who cares less stress in your life.

Me: i'm so drunk and she is so mean

Dan: Who cares. Ignore Her. She's a scrub.

Me: I hate her and I think you hate me too!

Dan: Lmfao why would I hate you?

Dan: Don't be cray cray

Me: I care a lot about you, but you don't care about me

Dan:I know Sarah! I care too. You're just drunk lol

Dan: Why the hell would you think that, you're ****ing crazy yo!

Me: lol! Dan every guy I came in contact with used me and sucks ass

Me: But your cool

Me: I like you

Dan: Sarah every guy is a douche. Every guy! You need to learn that and accept that and no I am not excluding myself, I am a douche as well

ME: Sorry I should stop now.

Me: I don't think your a douche.

Dan: Yes. maybe address this when you are not white girl wasted at a coke bar

Me: U hate me why??

Me: Everyone hates me

Dan:LMFAO Sarah order a water on the rocks and sober up girl lol!

ME: I am going to ****ing die **** this

Me: Everyone hates me

Me: I'm done

Dan: Dude shut up. Don't talk like that. Nobody hates you maybe Britney but she's just a jealous crackhead. Don't worry. Have fun!

Me: Haha I heart you

 

 

I am so humiliated, haha! No guy has ever brought me to the point of saying "Love you" and I can't believe I said that to him. Seriously, but he hasn't called or texted me since that night. It's like I scared him away or something. Was it creepy what I said? What's funny is that he said and done way more creepier things when he was sober and drunk and I still talked to him. I told him my feelings and now he's ignoring me. He has been texting my brother a lot and trying to hang out with him, when my brother is not that close with him and my brother has done nothing for him. I have done so much for him, but yet he's ignoring me and talking to my brother? I don't get it! It's like he comes on strong, and then I drunk text him and he backs away! I don't get it. What do you think? Tell me your opinion, cause I am greatly confused! Thank you for reading!

Edited December 28, 2013 by Purple_Haze

[stillafool]

I'm sorry but a woman drunk texting is so, so unattractive. Maybe your text conversation turned him off to you. TBH, it turned me off. We would have to know more about your history with this guy to give you a better opinion.

[theonlyjuan]

You just came across annoying

[KatZee]

ME: I am going to ****ing die **** this

Me: Everyone hates me

Me: I'm done

 

^^^

 

This is what was so completely ridiculous, unattractive, and off-putting about the entire conversation.

 

Not sure if you were fishing for compliments from him, trying to get him to tell you he loved you too, kiss your a.ss or what... but no guy wants to have to have this much drama in his life. All this shows him is what you'd be like if he actually dated you x 1,000. Guys don't want to hear this much bitching and moaning and complaining about crazy girl drama. No guy wants to be with a girl who's so incredibly insecure that she goes off that the entire world hates her and that she wants to go kill herself.

 

Guys want to be with strong women. Women who are in control of their emotions. Women who can handle social situations that involve people that may not like them. Not everyone on this earth is going to like you, fact of life. It's how you handle yourself in those situations, with maturity, and grace which will make you stand out to people.

 

Getting wasted and then cursing up a storm and whining... bad move.

[Cinnimon]

Goodness, this text convo made me cringe a little. It was actually painful to read. I would text him, apologize and let it sit at that. I definitely would stay away from the alcohol or refrain from texting when your drinking in the future. Sorry girl.

[ExpatInItaly]

Goodness, this text convo made me cringe a little. It was actually painful to read. I would text him, apologize and let it sit at that. I definitely would stay away from the alcohol or refrain from texting when your drinking in the future. Sorry girl.

 

Exactly. Sorry OP, but you made an ass of yourself. I don't think it's confessing your feelings that put him off; I think it's the "woe is me, please love me" tone of your drunk texting. It comes across as desperate and very needy. Not attractive.

[Purple_Haze]

I'm sorry but a woman drunk texting is so, so unattractive. Maybe your text conversation turned him off to you. TBH, it turned me off. We would have to know more about your history with this guy to give you a better opinion.

 

 

I understand, but he has acted way worse with me when he was drunk and I still talked to him. He scared guys off saying I am "his girl" He told me "I am the only one" and "Why don't you ever say I love you?" He acts possessive and weird with me when he's drunk and gets super mad about other guys and I still talked to him. I am very resistant with my feelings and it just so happened I was drunk and he texted me. It was a emotional bad night, cause of that girl Britney. I am not like that every time I get drunk. It was only cause of her. Like I said I am humiliated and I am not proud of what I did, but it would be kinda hypocritical on his end, cause he has said and done way worse when he was drunk with me.

[Purple_Haze]

ME: I am going to ****ing die **** this

Me: Everyone hates me

Me: I'm done

 

^^^

 

This is what was so completely ridiculous, unattractive, and off-putting about the entire conversation.

 

Not sure if you were fishing for compliments from him, trying to get him to tell you he loved you too, kiss your a.ss or what... but no guy wants to have to have this much drama in his life. All this shows him is what you'd be like if he actually dated you x 1,000. Guys don't want to hear this much bitching and moaning and complaining about crazy girl drama. No guy wants to be with a girl who's so incredibly insecure that she goes off that the entire world hates her and that she wants to go kill herself.

 

Guys want to be with strong women. Women who are in control of their emotions. Women who can handle social situations that involve people that may not like them. Not everyone on this earth is going to like you, fact of life. It's how you handle yourself in those situations, with maturity, and grace which will make you stand out to people.

 

Getting wasted and then cursing up a storm and whining... bad move.

 

 

I admit that it was pretty bad on my part. But like I keep on saying, he has done and acted way worse with me drunk and sober and I still talked to him. I told him that some of my friends were mad at me for talking to him and you know what he did? He went on Facebook and said that he was engaged with me, and I was having his child. He kept up this lie on Facebook and even without Facebook, and it was way too much. Like yeah it's funny, but he was almost making it a reality. Like he said to me "We should go to a bridal store and I should take a pic of you in a bridal dress and I should take a pic of you at a Jarreds with a engagement ring on your finger" He even walked inside my house and said to my mom and dad that he was engaged to me and I was having his baby. Like he was going way over board, and it was verging on creepy but I still talked to him. If it's anyone that looks needy it's him. He is the one that calls me first and texts me first. I had never initiated any conversation with him first. I had a bad night, yes! But he had one to many, and I wasn't so rude that I was like "He's desperate and weird, i'm not gonna talk to him"

 

 

I know, I ****ed up, but he is not completely innocent though either. Like I said he has done way worse and said way worse when he was drunk and sober with me.

[Cinnimon]

Purple, if you really feel this way about him, why do you care if he forgives you or not? He does sound weird and creepy.

[GemmaUK]

Drunk texting is never a good idea.

 

I have never done it but had it done to me before and it's just never something that provokes any good feelings on either party, not when emotions are involved in any way.

 

I'm afraid that however you reacted when he did it to you doesn't really matter as he is entitled to react however he feels to it.

You can't just stop feeling how you feel about something because someone else felt differently about it.

He has probably stepped back to let you cool down a bit as you did look pretty angry & upset.

 

Get in touch & apologise.

 

The other possibility could be that he thinks nothing of it and has just been busy over Christmas - but that he also thought nothing of what you said to him about how you felt because it was kind of overshadowed but also because you were drunk.

[Purple_Haze]

Goodness, this text convo made me cringe a little. It was actually painful to read. I would text him, apologize and let it sit at that. I definitely would stay away from the alcohol or refrain from texting when your drinking in the future. Sorry girl.

 

 

 

I know, I am not proud of what I did! I know I made an ass out of myself, but I was drunk, and yes I am going to make that an excuse, cause I would NEVER say this sober. Like I keep on saying I may have came off as crazy and needy or whatever, but he has also too! Sober and Drunk! He would call me incessantly and he would text me a lot. He always initiated conversation I never did. If it's anyone that looks bad all the time it's him. He is a crazy drunk. This is just one bad night for me. Usually I am a happy go lucky drunk and I control myself, but he is bad drunk period. He gets super possessive about guys and even lied to friends saying that I am his girlfriend. Lied to my parents saying that I have been dating him and that we are getting married and I am pregnant with his child. I still talked to him after all of that, that could come off as "needy" "creepy" or "weird" But I didn't have this attitude like "Oh he's desperate and weird, I am cutting him out of my life" So i'm just saying wouldn't be the pot calling the kettle black???

[Purple_Haze]

Purple, if you really feel this way about him, why do you care if he forgives you or not? He does sound weird and creepy.

 

Because I do like him as a friend. I do have special bond with him somehow. I am just unsure though what I really want out of him, so I am just trying to be friends with him. Plus I have trust isssues and I am just taking my time with him. But now I realize I guess I looked crazy and needy and weird, but It's so hypocritical cause this is so minor compared to what he did. I just don't want to lose him as a friend. Thanks for answering! I appreciate it!

[Purple_Haze]

So since he has been trying to hang with my brother and he is talking to him, and ignoring me. Not texting me or calling me. What should I do then? Would it look weirder if I texted him now? It's like 4 days after it happened, but I don't know what should I do now???

[ExpatInItaly]

So since he has been trying to hang with my brother and he is talking to him, and ignoring me. Not texting me or calling me. What should I do then? Would it look weirder if I texted him now? It's like 4 days after it happened, but I don't know what should I do now???

 

Do nothing. He's playing games with you and it's immature. From the other things you've posted about him, he sounds like a bit of jerk. Don't enable this behaviour. He knows how to contact you if he wants to. If he doesn't, his loss.

[regine_phalange]

When someone says they are a douche, believe them!

[Cinnimon]

As far as friends go, I have done some crazy things before and they remained my friends, stuff happens, works both ways. I kind of get the feeling it's more than friendship feelings your having. You must be honest with yourself.

You can't force anything out of anyone so all you can do at this point is text him, say your sorry and leave it alone, if he is not willing to overlook your mistakes then he's not worth having as a "friend" anyway.

[Purple_Haze]

As far as friends go, I have done some crazy things before and they remained my friends, stuff happens, works both ways. I kind of get the feeling it's more than friendship feelings your having. You must be honest with yourself.

You can't force anything out of anyone so all you can do at this point is text him, say your sorry and leave it alone, if he is not willing to overlook your mistakes then he's not worth having as a "friend" anyway.

 

 

You are absolutely right Cinnimon! I agree, but everyone is making me paranoid now that I appear needy and desperate. Like I don't even want to text him or call him cause I am afraid that would furthermore my appearance of "desperation" Like if he'll be like "Oh great she's texting or calling me, wow she is really desperate!" I just am confused and don't know what to do. If I should just wait for him to contact me? Or if I should contact him? But like I said I am really hesisitant now do it, cause I don't want to appear more desperate and clingy or whatever. But you are right Cinnimon, thank you!

[Purple_Haze]

Do nothing. He's playing games with you and it's immature. From the other things you've posted about him, he sounds like a bit of jerk. Don't enable this behaviour. He knows how to contact you if he wants to. If he doesn't, his loss.

 

 

 

Yeah, I think you're right! I am just confused as to why he's contacting my brother? Like me and my brother do hang with him sometimes, but he is more close to me than to my brother. I have also helped him out a lot where as my brother hasn't, but he is like wanting to hang with him and is calling and texting him a lot after all this went down. Like if he wasn't contacting any of us at all then I could chalk it up to "maybe he's busy" but if he's contacting my brother and is taking the time out for him, then why not me? Unless it's awkward for him, but still I am embarrassed, and I don't want to contact him. Also now everyone is making me paranoid that I appeared desperate and needy, I just look at this as embarrassing, drunk texting, that was stupid. But thanks for your answer! I do appreciate it!

[GemmaUK]

You are absolutely right Cinnimon! I agree, but everyone is making me paranoid now that I appear needy and desperate. Like I don't even want to text him or call him cause I am afraid that would furthermore my appearance of "desperation" Like if he'll be like "Oh great she's texting or calling me, wow she is really desperate!" I just am confused and don't know what to do. If I should just wait for him to contact me? Or if I should contact him? But like I said I am really hesisitant now do it, cause I don't want to appear more desperate and clingy or whatever. But you are right Cinnimon, thank you!

 

 

You know, he doesn't sound the nicest guy..so first off be careful.

 

Right now though I think don't text him and wait for him to text you.

After the other things you have said about him I don't think you have any need to apologise.

Him being around your brother is all a bit strange too especially if they're not friends as such.

[MalachiX]

I realize I've said this before but I really don't think this is an actual person. Everything she says reads like some parody of a woman that an angry guy might come up with.

[Purple_Haze]

I realize I've said this before but I really don't think this is an actual person. Everything she says reads like some parody of a woman that an angry guy might come up with.

 

 

 

WTF ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT??? Are you serious??? This is a REAL person I am talking about. I don't know if you are troll or what, but this is a real situation I am dealing with.

[Purple_Haze]

Ok, I am seriously angry and upset and just feeling every negative emotion right now. I was with my friend and she was on her Facebook and she says "Look Dan is looking for a date to go with to Buffalo Wild Wings tonight!" I looked at his post and it said "Anyone want to go with me to Buffalo Wild Wings tonight?" I deleted my Facebook like 2 weeks ago and he knows that, so I am very upset that he didn't text or call me to ask me. I have done SOOO much for him, and big ****ing deal I drunk texted him, like is he seriously going to hold onto that? I was ****ing DRUNK! I would never act like that sober! And obviously he is mad at me ever since that night or something, and I don't understand! I am so angry right now, cause if it's anyone he should take out, it's me, cause I have been there for him, when everyone else abandoned him. I was by his side 1000% and I had 100% loyalty to him. I am literally upset, I just don't understand like all because of that drunk text you're not going to talk to me? It's immature and ridiculous. I don't know though if I should contact him about it or not.

 

 

I feel used and sad. He's avoiding me ever since the drunk night, and he would rather take someone else out I guess then have me there with him. He is so confusing cause he always expressed interest to me. I did decline to go out with him multiple times and we only went out when it was a group of friends. I never went out one on one with him, but when I did agree to go out with him one on one he would back out or blow me off, and I let that go. I am so sick and tired of him. I am seriously upset and don't know if I should tell him about it or not? I have done so much for him, that nobody else has done. He was abandoned so many times who came to the rescue? ME! At least he can do is take me out, but I guess he would rather go out with some other girl! I guess I don't matter, and if it's all because of that drunk texting then that's ridiculous cause THEN HE IS A BIG FAT HIPOCRIT! Cause he acts way worse with me!!! I am just so upset, any thoughts on this? Thank you! I appreciate your input!

[Purple_Haze]

Like should I contact him? Should I talk this out with him? Should I take it personally what he is doing? Like I said I don't have a Facebook anymore and he knows that, he has my number and he didn't call or text me to go out with him. So I am just very sad cause I feel like he wants nothing to do with me and I think that's ridiculous all just because I drunk texted??? Like seriously you're going to cut someone out because of that? It hurts me! I don't know what to do or what to say. My friend made the point though that I never go out with him one on one, and she said "Maybe he doesn't want to contact you cause he feels awkward, you both aren't contacting each other. He doesn't know where you stand, and maybe it's awkward for him" But why should it be, if he always got really personal with me? He told me "We are soulmates and I love you so much!" That is when he was sober too! He wasn't even drunk and he said that! He said more personal things when drunk too! But I didn't avoid him in any way because of that! I just don't know what to do, and my Saturday is ruined! I feel hurt!

[ExpatInItaly]

Ok, I am seriously angry and upset and just feeling every negative emotion right now. I was with my friend and she was on her Facebook and she says "Look Dan is looking for a date to go with to Buffalo Wild Wings tonight!" I looked at his post and it said "Anyone want to go with me to Buffalo Wild Wings tonight?" I deleted my Facebook like 2 weeks ago and he knows that, so I am very upset that he didn't text or call me to ask me. I have done SOOO much for him, and big ****ing deal I drunk texted him, like is he seriously going to hold onto that? I was ****ing DRUNK! I would never act like that sober! And obviously he is mad at me ever since that night or something, and I don't understand! I am so angry right now, cause if it's anyone he should take out, it's me, cause I have been there for him, when everyone else abandoned him. I was by his side 1000% and I had 100% loyalty to him. I am literally upset, I just don't understand like all because of that drunk text you're not going to talk to me? It's immature and ridiculous. I don't know though if I should contact him about it or not.

 

 

I feel used and sad. He's avoiding me ever since the drunk night, and he would rather take someone else out I guess then have me there with him. He is so confusing cause he always expressed interest to me. I did decline to go out with him multiple times and we only went out when it was a group of friends. I never went out one on one with him, but when I did agree to go out with him one on one he would back out or blow me off, and I let that go. I am so sick and tired of him. I am seriously upset and don't know if I should tell him about it or not? I have done so much for him, that nobody else has done. He was abandoned so many times who came to the rescue? ME! At least he can do is take me out, but I guess he would rather go out with some other girl! I guess I don't matter, and if it's all because of that drunk texting then that's ridiculous cause THEN HE IS A BIG FAT HIPOCRIT! Cause he acts way worse with me!!! I am just so upset, any thoughts on this? Thank you! I appreciate your input!

 

How many times do we need to say it? He's being a jerk now; he isn't your friend. He's told your parents you were engaged and you were having his baby? That isn't right, even as a "joke." He likes the attention, and you're the pawn here. Yes, you sent a ridiculous drunk text. We all make mistakes. He is enjoying having the upper hand now. Do not contact him. He doesn't really like you the way he says he does, or he wouldn't behave like a creep.

 

How old are you both, by the way?

 

EDIT: Did it ever occur to you that he tells you how much he wants you so that you continue to help him and "do sh*t" for him? He doesn't sound sincere whatsoever

Edited December 28, 2013 by ExpatInItaly

[Purple_Haze]

How many times do we need to say it? He's being a jerk now; he isn't your friend. He's told your parents you were engaged and you were having his baby? That isn't right, even as a "joke." He likes the attention, and you're the pawn here. Yes, you sent a ridiculous drunk text. We all make mistakes. He is enjoying having the upper hand now. Do not contact him. He doesn't really like you the way he says he does, or he wouldn't behave like a creep.

 

How old are you both, by the way?

 

EDIT: Did it ever occur to you that he tells you how much he wants you so that you continue to help him and "do sh*t" for him? He doesn't sound sincere whatsoever

 

 

 

He probably does, and I am upset about it. I am 20 years old and he is 26. I am just really saddened by all of this. It hurts me to know that I am not appreciated by him and that I don't matter.