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Is that everything you invested in, emotionally, lovingly, financially, wholeheartedly was a lie. It a never going to turn into anything more because he was a commitment phobe.

 

Hurts a lot and I feel so f***ing stupid for not listening to my gut and getting out earlier. I don't even know what I was thinking, was I just living the entire middle to end of it in hope rather than being honest with myself.

 

Why will I never learn, there is no such thing as soul mates and true love. It's a movie myth.

 

I hate the mixed feelings, the mixed thoughts, the mixed emotions that are all muddled. One sec you hate them the next miss them, one minute your reminiscing the next remembering the bad. :rolleyes::rolleyes::rolleyes:

 

So much confusion, thankfully at this current time it's not making me feel ultra low and not wanting to be around anymore. I'm kinda happy with my life and the things I am doing even when I'm just by myself not doing anything, still doesn't stop the answered mixed up thoughts, feelings, emotions though. Guess that's just a bit more time.

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