K100dssm Posted December 28, 2013 Posted December 28, 2013 I posted here the other day asking why people argue more after a breakup. I broke up with my ex around 6 weeks ago I was going through some serious anxiety at the time ( I have panic disorder) she was always supportive but admitted at getting increasingly frustrate at the relationship and not feeling close because of my recent increase in anxiety and not spending as much time together which is understandable. This added huge pressure onto me to deal with my issue and fast and the more I tried the more stressed and anxious I got so I decided it wasn't fair and ended the relationship. We didn't really argue when together but the last couple of weeks we have argued so much and I don't understand fully why. We have kept in touch on and off and the release of some pressure has made me relax slightly but when we argue I feel worse than I ever have. I know she was very upset and said she didn't want the relationship to end and I've also said I didn't I just wasn't handling things well and didn't see another way out and wouldn't dream of asking her to wait or stay in a relationship that she didn't feel she was getting what she should out of and I felt so stressed trying. She has been upset recently and contacted me over Christmas quite a bit, I didn't mind and it was nice to hear from her but then it's like we've both admitted we still wanted it to work out and we message back and forth and then all he'll breaks lose. I feel her change and it's like she has this hatred toward me, this has happened 3 times in 5 days. First time she was at a party and saw someone I had dated before her but only went out a few times so not a relationship. She text and mentioned this to me saying how nice she thought she was which I found strange and it really seemed to bother her, this turned into an argument. Last night we had been talking and then I get a message saying I'm not being ignorant but my way of dealing with things is to get drunk. I could tell from the message she was drunks she's been drinking a lot lately. I told her to be careful and try to take care and I was going to go to bed. She replies with and I've just seen your ex!!! This was my actual ex before I met her and we ended roughly a year before we got together. I tried to diffuse the situation and said oh right, she usually comes back around Christmas so you maybe did. I can sense this feels like it's getting more heated at that point and that's when she basically says I'm mad at you for ending it, I just wanted to be there and you ended it. It seems so push and pull and neither of us know what to do but what I'm getting from it is she wishes we had never broken up but more than this she wishes it had never actually happened and she can't forgive me or let go of what I did. This is fair enough, if you hurt someone then you're bound to feel that way. We tried to end it in a friendly way and both said we had no hard feelings but that doesn't seem to be the case at all. I'd have loved to try again and have said this over the time we've been apart but she seems to give mixed signals like she wants it to work out but then can't ever try again because of the pain that has happened. I've just decided if she gets back in touch the best thing to do is not reply as keeping in touch seems to make it worse than it ever was. Maybe she's just reached the anger stage of break up I don't know.
Recommended Posts