mirage12 Posted December 28, 2013 Posted December 28, 2013 Wanted to see if any of you had thoughts on this or how to cope with it. Lately I've been doing everything I can think of to work to overcome my recent BU which happened almost 2 months ago. I've been making plans with friends, planning trips, forcing myself to say yes to things I'm invited to even when I don't want to, have been on a date with a girl who's cute but I just have no interest in, have another girl I used to hang with coming to visit in a few weeks, etc, etc. Even tonight, I just got back home after watching a football game with a friend and having dinner/drinks. I've been doing everything I possibly can to stay distracted/stay busy...but I still can't shake this awful feeling of loneliness. Don't get me wrong - I'm not saying that I NEED to have a significant other/gf to feel complete or whole in any way. Between my last ex and my ex before her, I went more than 2 years without seriously dating. But in spite of all of these things I'm forcing myself to do/all of the attempts I'm making to distract myself, I can't stop the feeling of loneliness. I miss being with the ex - everything from the physical aspect, the cuddling, the touching, the kissing/hugging to the intangible aspect - the idea of caring about someone who cared for me back, the idea of knowing there was someone out there who had deep feelings for me/a connection with me. And when that feeling of loneliness hits, it feels like it's negating the efforts I've been making, as if I know that I'm trying to trick myself into feeling better when really I don't know if I do. Does anyone else have trouble like this? Is there anything else that you've done that has helped?
Softie Posted December 28, 2013 Posted December 28, 2013 Yes of course. It's a completely different type of loneliness missing the intimate relationship with someone. It takes time for everything to settle, to get used to and happy with our own company. I'm trying too. I think it's an awareness thing, we need to realise that we do not have to have someone around 24/7 to not be lonely. We do not need attention from friends/family all the time to not be lonely, as we are not alone. Be grateful that you do have people in your life and interests, be grateful and mindful of this esp at times when they are not there. Recall all what you have in your life, not what you do not have.
gaius Posted December 28, 2013 Posted December 28, 2013 It can take a while to detox certain women out of your system, totally normal. Those lonely feelings are really the pang of withdrawl. I was waiting somewhere today when a woman sat down right next to me while there were 5 other empty chairs right there. I didn't even bother to look up from my phone and say hello. She eventually got the hint and wandered off.
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