wesbinny Posted December 28, 2013 Posted December 28, 2013 Alright, I'll try to keep this short. Basically, I fell hard for this girl in a very short period of time (3 months), and we were never even official. It seemed like she was in the same position as me, and a week before she ended it she told me she was falling in love with me. Those feelings scared her because she wasn't ready for a relationship because she was still healing from a past relationship. I told her I would wait for her to heal and that I wanted to help her in any way I could. To give some context, I'm Christian and my faith is really important to me. She is a Christian, but she is relatively new to her relationship with God, and she has a pretty heavy past of drugs/partying/sex/etc. When we were together, she made huge strides and was attending a weekly Bible study with me and even got baptized. She really wanted to pursue God, and I loved that. Anyway, the week she told me that she was falling in love with me was right before she went to Vegas for her friend's birthday. Her friends (and family) aren't good influences in her life, but she has great relationships with them. When she was in Vegas, she was drunk for 4 days straight, and her communication with me was absolutely awful. At one point, she sent me a text saying "I'm sorry my communication has been bad, it's just really hard for me to talk to you when I'm here." Right after that, she sent me a snapchat of condoms. I know this sounds childish, but I freaked out because I thought she was with some other dude. She finally called me later and told me that those condoms weren't hers and I was over reacting. Once she got back home, her communication remained horrible and she eventually told me that she didn't like how I over reacted, and thought that I didn't trust her. She said she needed a couple days to think. A day later, she ended things entirely, saying that it wasn't fair for me to be waiting around for her until she was ready for a relationship (even though I knew this at the start of dating), and that I deserved someone with better communication. Fast forward a couple weeks, and I'm still absolutely wrecked and confused, since we never fought or anything until she went to Vegas. I end up calling her because I saw her in a picture with a guy that went to Vegas with her group. On the phone, I spilled my guts. I told her that it made no sense that she would even be talking to anyone else if she wasn't ready for a relationship. I told her that I hated how she was drunk for 4 days straight. I told her that if she wants to have a stronger relationship with God, she needs to have better influences in her life than her friends and family. She ended up agreeing with everything I said, and told me she was willing to start over as just friends if that's what I really wanted (I agreed). The next day, she sends me a text saying that she didn't like how I "belittled her friends and family" and that she could never be with someone who cared so little about the people she loves most. I totally see how she took it that way, and I apologized for coming off like that since that wasn't the message I was trying to convey. She never responded. The next day, I sent her a text apologizing again, (she wouldn't meet me in person or even respond to me) and I told her that I realized a relationship with her would never work because we aren't on the same page. I told her goodbye, blocked her on facebook, and haven't talked to her since (it's been 3 days). I know it was the right thing to do, but it's been really hard knowing that she's talking to another guy. I don't think she did anything with him in Vegas, but I can't know for sure. It just kills me because she won't even give me the courtesy of a response. Even though it was only 3 months, I have never fallen for a girl as hard as I did with her. I've been in two other much more serious relationships, but this one has been way more difficult to move on from than either of those. All of this to say that I just need some support and advice. This has been the most difficult time in my life, and I can't seem to get my mind off of her. I've been exercising and focusing on my diet, hanging out with friends, and basically ANYTHING to take my mind off of her. I know that I will heal with time, but this depression is killing me. Thanks guys.
smuggy95 Posted December 28, 2013 Posted December 28, 2013 You've identified everything you need to do- reason on why it is a broken relationship, and the need to focus on yourself for now. Thank goodness it was just for 3 months. Put your ego aside and as you are a Christian, remember God is all you need and he will lead you to the right person. She's not it.
Author wesbinny Posted December 28, 2013 Author Posted December 28, 2013 Thanks for the response smuggy. The hardest part has been knowing that she's already talking to another guy, and it seems like she's moving on just fine. I know I need to just focus on me and not care about that, but it's pretty difficult.
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