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will i ever get over him? when will the pain end


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Posted

My boyfriend of 3 years dumped me about 2 and half months ago. It was all out of the blue, he was very cold and mean to me during the breakup. I foolishly spent a week pouring my feelings out to him and trying to fix things, but it didn't work, and I went to NC. I started feeling better gradually. It hurt that he never tried to contact me, and I see all over facebook pics of him with other girls which kills.

 

He was my first love. I had to go to his house today to pick up some things I left there, and seeing him again after two months made me miss him so much more.

 

After I left he texted me and said his sweater that i brought back to him smelled wonderful like my perfume..

 

I miss him even more now. I thought I was okay until I saw him, now I can't stop crying. Will it truly ever get better?

Posted

Sorry you are going through this pain. It sucks. You broke NC and now you're back to square one. Take time, continue NC. Unless, he is beating down your door, realizing he lost the best thing, do nothing. Sad but it's the harsh reality. :((

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Posted

thank you!

I know that I broke it but I had a lot of things left at his apartment, and it had already been 2 months, so I figured I needed to get it because I couldn't wait longer because it would hurt even more.

 

It was just so hard seeing him, and he was complimenting me on things and it made me miss him.

Posted

I would also block him on fb so you won't see the pictures he posts anymore.

Posted

Sorry you are going through this. What a mean thing for him to say - the statement about your perfume. He knows you are hurting and says something like that???? It WILL get better - can I promise all of the pain will ever go away no but you learn to get past it and even that happens less frequently as time goes on. Hang in there you deserve better.

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Posted

i want to block him on facebook but I don't want him to know that seeing his things bother me, I want to fake it till i make it and act like it doesn't bother me so I don't look pathetic by deleting him.

 

and thank you chin up!! I know it was mean to say I wish he didn't contact me at all, idk why he did

Posted

You know I was just like you jessiej, with the whole fake it till I make it thingamajig. I didn't unfriend him from facebook when we broke up, but nine months later, I blocked him completely. Unfriended him from facebook about 5 months after our break-up but only blocked him recently.

 

Truth of the matter is this, ANY sort of reminder of him still hurts. Everyone's healing process is different, and for me, after 9 months, I realized I still hurt. I just realized this after some stuff happened in the last few weeks, and it feels like I broke NC even if I didn't - you know, that pain fresh from a break-up? I felt it again a few weeks ago, and I said to myself, that's it. I've had enough. I'm going to disappear from the face of the earth to him.

 

So I blocked him everywhere. Facebook, whatsapp, on my iphone.

 

Selfish move, he may even start to wonder why the sudden move, but I really don't care anymore. I just want to focus on me, and I don't want to be enticed or tempted to even look him up and see what he's up to.

 

I'm done trying to appear strong, it still hurts too much some days.

 

Anyhoo, I hope you'd find your peace soon. Hang in there!

Posted
i want to block him on facebook but I don't want him to know that seeing his things bother me, I want to fake it till i make it and act like it doesn't bother me so I don't look pathetic by deleting him.

 

and thank you chin up!! I know it was mean to say I wish he didn't contact me at all, idk why he did

 

Deleting someone isn't pathetic. You're choosing the long road to healing. You might not heal at all.

 

Take the short route. Otherwise, questions like "When will I get over him?" are moot.

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