dead_ocean Posted December 27, 2013 Posted December 27, 2013 (edited) I met a girl through a family friend, she lives about 10 hours away. We started talking about 2 months ago and got to know each little by little. Then I ask when I could meet her and she said whenever would be ok. We came to the conclusion that it would be nice to meet for Christmas and I started to make arrangements. I arrived on the 23th and we had dinner, talked, I gave her a hug and kiss and called it a night. On the 24th I go to her house and she introduced me to her family. On the 25th we go to her parent's house and spend the day there and she and her family gave me a ride to the hotel. She says she'll call me so she can takeme to the terminal with me and send me off. I found this as a horrible way to say goodbye and not a fitting end to our first encounter. I called her later that night and told her I was going over. I get to her house, hugged and kissed her and told her the reason I took the trip was to simply meet her, talk to her, and let her know how I feel. I told her that she is special to me, and thanks for being so kind and sweet to me. She then starts to cry and says that she sees this as moving too fast. She says she can't say yes or no to me except that she needs more time to know me and that she has too much on her plate. The next day in the morning she calls to let me know that she can't go see me off, because it was too painful. I tell her it is ok and that was the end of my conversation. Should I hold off to speak to her again, how much space should I give her, would she even want to talk again? Edited December 27, 2013 by a LoveShack.org Moderator
d0nnivain Posted December 27, 2013 Posted December 27, 2013 I would give her at least a week. Then send something innocuous like a text. Honestly, though you made this huge effort to travel 10 hours to meet her & she can't muster up the courtesy to say good bye to you, at best she's rude but I don't see enough maturity here to sustain a relationship.
Eau Claire Posted December 27, 2013 Posted December 27, 2013 (edited) No, she is not discourteous. No woman owes any man more than a 'thank you'. We are not bought by money, gifts, travel time or anything else. Any man with integrity would understand this. Give her all the time and space she wants. Edited December 27, 2013 by a LoveShack.org Moderator 1
Author dead_ocean Posted December 27, 2013 Author Posted December 27, 2013 The thing that has me confused is why would she let me visit her, let me meet her family, and spend such a special time with her if she wanted things to go slow.
tlegend Posted December 27, 2013 Posted December 27, 2013 The thing that has me confused is why would she let me visit her, let me meet her family, and spend such a special time with her if she wanted things to go slow. Ugh. I think that your confusion is understandable. However, she told you she needs space. Did something happen around her family that you may have had her rethink her vision of you? Maybe you are even unaware of what was happening? Quite honestly, she could of just not ...liked you. My initial thought is that maybe she was involved in another relationship and the quickness of you made her re-think if she was emotionally ready to carry on? Either way, give her space, because we all know everything works out in the end.
Author dead_ocean Posted December 27, 2013 Author Posted December 27, 2013 Well, I did tell her I was sorry if I had acted weird, but it was because I was nervous when I met everyone all at once. Other than that nothing weird happened. I even asked if a I was what she was expecting and she said that I was, but I couldn't get a straight answer from her. All that was said was that she wants to keep talking to me and that time will say what happens. To me I see it as she is confused and not ready for a relationship. I don't see how in 2 months you can't at least have some thoughts about the person you talk to almost daily.
tlegend Posted December 27, 2013 Posted December 27, 2013 Well, I did tell her I was sorry if I had acted weird, but it was because I was nervous when I met everyone all at once. Other than that nothing weird happened. I even asked if a I was what she was expecting and she said that I was, but I couldn't get a straight answer from her. All that was said was that she wants to keep talking to me and that time will say what happens. To me I see it as she is confused and not ready for a relationship. I don't see how in 2 months you can't at least have some thoughts about the person you talk to almost daily. Unless, of course, you aren't the only option, or....something happened that she did not like when you were interacting with her family. As I said before, you may be completely unaware of it. She could have had expectations of you that apparently weren't the same when you showed up. There's a million and a half reasons why she did what she did. Unfortunately, we can only theorize and give you advice. The advice is to give her space, and that you will have to try to get this out of your mind. She may reveal why she said you guys were moving too fast after the holidays. Maybe she's cleaning out dirty closets in preparation for dating you?
Eau Claire Posted December 27, 2013 Posted December 27, 2013 (edited) [Please understand] that a man or a woman doesn't know that much about another person after two months even if they spent every day together. This baffles you? After your first posting, I thought this woman just needed space like any sane human being. After your third posting I'm starting to view you as an obsessed guy who has zero understanding or care about her feelings. It's not all about you. She hardly knows you at all. Back off and deal with your unrealistic fantasies. Edited December 27, 2013 by a LoveShack.org Moderator Civility and respect guideline conformance.
Author dead_ocean Posted December 27, 2013 Author Posted December 27, 2013 She did mention that she has some things she needs to take care of, but she can't tell me because she doesn't feel comfortable telling me this. And to top it off she said I was the first guy she has presented to her family. Maybe it was too much all at once and even worse with Christmas and everything going on. Maybe I will talk to her in a few days maybe on New Years.
mortensorchid Posted December 28, 2013 Posted December 28, 2013 The thing that has me confused is why would she let me visit her, let me meet her family, and spend such a special time with her if she wanted things to go slow. I agree. I had to go back and reread the story you shared just so I was clear on this. She had you come and meet her family and spend a holiday with them?! I am under the impression this is a first face to face encounter. Truth be told, I find that very odd that she would extend such an invite and that you agreed to it as well! But that being said, now that you have done the deed ... I would hold off for about a week or so, then give her a call or text asking how she is and how things are going. Then see what she says.
Recommended Posts