Copenhagen09 Posted December 27, 2013 Posted December 27, 2013 (edited) ok, i know this is probably not what i should be doing, but i really have no idea what to do. i was with my fiance for 2 years. i have a 3 year old, and of course he is a big part in her life. now we have been arguing a lot lately, i know i have been stressed and so has he. he moved 160 miles to be with me. on christmas, he was in a horrible mood. he was upset that i let my daughter stay at my moms for a week ( because my grandpa had passed away that week and she asked me, i have a horrible flaw of now being able to tell my mother no). he was beyond cranky. now im already worried he is bipolar and has a case of paranoid personality disorder. im not perfect. i know im not. im no where close. my parents are cops, and i have a cop state of mind. and that is something that is hard to overcome. but anyway, he was in a horrible mood. and before i went to pick my daughter up, i asked him if he wanted me to wake him up to watch her open her presents. he said no, so i left it at that. then my mother texted me and asked for all of us to stay there for christmas. he didnt wanna go. so after a few more hours of him being grouchy, i asked him if it would be better if i just left. he said yes, so i packed some clothes and some presents and i went to my mothers. when i came home, all hell broke lose. i have never seen him have a mood swing like that. ever. then that night, everythihng was perfect. cuddly, lovey dovey, i love yous, etc. then later that day he was all hulk mode again. then right before he left he was all kissy and cuddly again. i dont understand. he said he was leaving because i left him alone on christmas, but i just did what he said. idk if i should give it a few weeks for us to recoup, calm down, and get our ducks in a row, plus let him spend time with his family since he only sees them maybe twice a month, or if i should just think that he isnt coming back and im left here in a big apartment with a 3 year old wondering where he is and tell everyone the wedding is off. most of his family has texted me, at their will, and have told me to just give him a few weeks and he will be back. ive done nothing but cry and sleep. i hate this. i hate him being gone. i hate not talking to him. but im trying to give him his space. am i wasting my time? is there even a chance he is gonna come back? should i just move on and forget about him? or should i stay here and wait on him to come home? im miserable and i dont know what to do Edited December 27, 2013 by a LoveShack.org Moderator
Yasuandio Posted December 28, 2013 Posted December 28, 2013 Sweets, This erratic behavior is at the very least, problematic. At worst, he could very well have a difficult mental disorder(s) as you suggested. Neither of these emerging "personalities" of this man provide a safe environment for your child. Either he could go nuts, or put you under tremendous stress where your allegience to your daughter's needs may be compromised - without your intention, of course. You certainly don't want to be posting something like this in the "Separation and Divorce" forum a few years from now, do you? Read your post as if your were a cop listening to a problem of a caller - that did not know where her future husbasb was, or when or if he was going to return. If you, as the police officer, heard of these "hulk" moods, and the story you told us, in light of a 3 year old living on the premises, what would your recommendation be? If you cannot put on those shoes, show this post to your parents, see what they advise. I hope my answers help you. Yas
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