Author LornaFE Posted January 1, 2014 Author Posted January 1, 2014 He wrote me a message for NYE, how much he misses me, how desperately he likes to be with me ... it read it, because I did not recognize the number as his and he wrote in German. It was send from a different number, maybe off some of the websites where you can send SMS for free. It was the nicest NYE-message i got. IF IT WASN'T ALL LIES! Go the heck out of my life! I once knew a single man and fell in love with, but it turned out be was all fake! There only existed a married man who had lied to me all the time about not being married. Now he is on a nice Christmas trip somewhere in Europe with his wife, and he has the nerve telling me he misses me! Aaaaahrrrghh! What a %&"*/! Sorry for venting. 1
dreamingoftigers Posted January 1, 2014 Posted January 1, 2014 @raena: He told me he couldn't find work in the US and she is working something US-related (governmental or so) so they could not live together. Actually he told my his parents are begging him to come back. I think I know now who was begging him. Is that the fish you smell? or is it something about not being capable to have a "real" relationship at all? He couldn't find work in a country of 300 million that WAS going through an economic boomtime in the early 2000s? There is something more than not right here. More than just him being married abroad. This is quite extreme.
dreamingoftigers Posted January 1, 2014 Posted January 1, 2014 I am in NC for three days now, yay! I did not say I do not wanted any contact anymore, because this would have lead to an endless discussion via Whatsapp. His last sentence to me was something like that he would forgive me (!!!) if I would accept his point of view = he never lied to me and all he did was only to have a smooth separation from his wife, who is only a friend now anyway. I simply deleted all his contact data. He is still not back in Germany and too greedy to call from another EU-country, but I guess he will call when he is back. I am thinking if I will just do not take the calls or tell him clearly that I am done with him? Another thing came to my mind. Why is it important for me to call him a sociopath? I came across the term during my research during the last weeks. And finally I had an answer what this "wrong" was I had felt all the time. He certainly has traits of narcisstic and anti social personality disorder. And the therapists say these traits are incurable. They can get slightly better, but only if the person is willing to work on it. The latter will never happen with him, he would never go to therapy, and love cannot cure anything, even if we wished it was like this. Conclusion: Since knowing he will never change due to his mental state I accepted that, no matter what he will do in the nearer future, he will for sure hurt me again. GOOD FOR YOU SWEETHEART! You didn't just dodge a bullet, you escaped a nuclear fallout! 1
Author LornaFE Posted January 5, 2014 Author Posted January 5, 2014 (edited) So, I found out, they did not go to Croatia for New Year's, as originally planned, but MM and BS came back to our city. Gosh, he is daring! This was his concession to me when I begged him not not go on this holiday. He said he will be back two days earlier. (Wow, two days out of 21! I was so flattered!) I guess he told his wife he had so much work to do and how sorry he is for that she has to explore our city mostly alone. At Jan 2nd he called me in the morning from his office. Not recognizing the number I first took the call, but hung up on him immediately when I heard him. He sounded as if nothing ever happened, tried another six times and wrote two messages. He wants to discuss things with me and wants to meet in the afternoon. I did not respond. Instead of responding to him I wrote another message to his wife in the late evening on the last channel I had. I knew I would be safe, because she cannot sleep in his flat. He has only a small mattress and almost no furniture, so she would stay at a hotel for sure. This way she would see the email by herself and decide what to do with it. In the message I included a few screenshots with his numerous I love yous and his talk about not being unfaithful because his marriage was all so loveless and they never really lived together, were in a long distance relationship over all the years, so he actually wasn't married at all, he emotionally dropped out three years ago and he does not feel like he is married. What was the outcome? - she did not respond, but blocked me again – well, up to her's - he stopped calling and texting me – Yay! I wonder what happened, but I guess he told his wife the story all husbands would do in this situation: There is this crazy girl, one of my students, she is upset that I rejected her and now she is stalking me. Of course, there was nothing between us, never, she is just some random lunatic girl. Wives all over the world with long-term marriages: Take a step back from your husband and look at him as he was a stranger. If you would hardly know him, as he looks, dresses and talks now, right in this moment, if you would know him only from the outside and from a couple of hours in his class/his office etc. and you were younger than him: Would you fall in love with this guy? So madly that you would stalk him without him having encouraged you to love him, without even having kissed him once? Come on. In most cases not very likely, huh. (no offense) So, I guess she believed a story like this from his and never doubted his faithfulness. She deleted the email without even reading it. That which must not, can not be. Here my part ends. I did all I thought was right. Maybe it was too much, maybe too few, but that's none of my business anymore. Thanks for reading, thanks for commenting. To write all that off and you reading it was a great help. Edited January 6, 2014 by LornaFE typos
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