Armyguy123 Posted December 27, 2013 Posted December 27, 2013 So yesterday at the end of Christmas I got a call from a number I did not recognize. It was my ex calling from her sisters number, wanting to wish me a Merry Christmas and talk to me. 2 months ago she tried to reconcile with me, we chatted for 2 weeks and it was great. Then she got cold feet just before our date we had planned, and I went straight NC for a little over 2 months. I got to a good place through some very tough struggles, even started dating again. Hearing her voice triggered my emotions so bad it wasn't even funny. It made me realize that I still love her. My Birthday is in less than a week, and this whole week was always very special to us as it had Christmas, New Years, and my Birthday in a very short span of time. For those of you who wish you heard from your ex. Read this. Its not that good to hear the voice of the person you love for an instant and then go back to reality. Stay in your NC cave, and shield yourselves from the BS. It gets better with time apparently? 6
chris21422 Posted December 27, 2013 Posted December 27, 2013 what happen to the convo? So yesterday at the end of Christmas I got a call from a number I did not recognize. It was my ex calling from her sisters number, wanting to wish me a Merry Christmas and talk to me. 2 months ago she tried to reconcile with me, we chatted for 2 weeks and it was great. Then she got cold feet just before our date we had planned, and I went straight NC for a little over 2 months. I got to a good place through some very tough struggles, even started dating again. Hearing her voice triggered my emotions so bad it wasn't even funny. It made me realize that I still love her. My Birthday is in less than a week, and this whole week was always very special to us as it had Christmas, New Years, and my Birthday in a very short span of time. For those of you who wish you heard from your ex. Read this. Its not that good to hear the voice of the person you love for an instant and then go back to reality. Stay in your NC cave, and shield yourselves from the BS. It gets better with time apparently?
mirage12 Posted December 27, 2013 Posted December 27, 2013 I had something similar happen, although not as much contact..mine initiated a text "Merry Christmas!!!" and I sent her one back saying the same and hoping she was having a nice day with the fam. Also sent her a cute pic of my dog, who basically grew up with her too and who I know she loved. I could see that she read the iMessage but no further communication from her. Afterwards, just made me feel worse...as if the text from her was obligatory or something...I don't know why she even bothered to send it, and now I'm stuck missing her and thinking about her again
chris21422 Posted December 27, 2013 Posted December 27, 2013 ehh man! you should have just ignore it.. Holiday greetings Nothing good will came out of it. If they really want to contact they will contact not just during the holiday. I had something similar happen, although not as much contact..mine initiated a text "Merry Christmas!!!" and I sent her one back saying the same and hoping she was having a nice day with the fam. Also sent her a cute pic of my dog, who basically grew up with her too and who I know she loved. I could see that she read the iMessage but no further communication from her. Afterwards, just made me feel worse...as if the text from her was obligatory or something...I don't know why she even bothered to send it, and now I'm stuck missing her and thinking about her again
HorseLuck Posted December 27, 2013 Posted December 27, 2013 (edited) I'm so sorry. Mine tried a couple of ways, without so much as a Merry Christmas. I let that phone ring. Just experiencing that set me back in a way. Hope you feel better soon and aren't beating yourself up for answering. Edited December 27, 2013 by HorseLuck
Winter blue Posted December 27, 2013 Posted December 27, 2013 I am a little curious about the phone conversation too, if you don't mind to share OP? My birthday is within a few days too and my ex just wished me a Merry Xmas, a happy NY and a happy birthday all at once, easy for her! I wouldn't bother to reply to her if that's all in her email to me a week before Xmas. I replied to her 3 days later only because she asked to hang out with me which I declined and just acknowledged her wishes and wished her a merry Xmas too. It does set me back a little I agree but not as bad as it used to be, I also found it's easier to say no to her now, I must be becoming stronger from the NC I did and I will keep it that way 1
BC1980 Posted December 27, 2013 Posted December 27, 2013 I've got a better one than that. My ex sent me a Christmas card with a picture of him and his son on it. You know those cards that everyone sends around the holidays with snap shots of their family. I was on the card last year, and it tore me up to see this new card.
radiodarcy Posted December 27, 2013 Posted December 27, 2013 The holidays can also be sentimental for dumpers as well. But in reality, Christmas and New Years is just another day. Just like the days after the holidays will be just another day. It's such a shock to the system, when you've been doing strict NC all that time and an ex reaches out to you out of nowhere. It almost feels as though they're doing it on purpose - - just to mess with our heads. It's a selfish gesture on their part more than anything else. It does get better with time. Unfortunately, as you've already found, 2 months isn't nearly enough time to handle contact. I remember my ex reached out to me around that time of year and it really messed me up, to the point where I resumed contact with him only to be rejected by him a month later. When someone breaks your heart, that doesn't give that person license to drift in and out of your life as they please. And the holidays are no exception. 2
Author Armyguy123 Posted December 30, 2013 Author Posted December 30, 2013 what happen to the convo? All it it was, was her essentially just checking up on me to see how I was doing and wanting to wish me a Merry Christmas! I tried to keep it brief to prevent any more trauma for me. I couldn't tell if she was over me or not but I didn't try to read into that much. The fact that she reached out to me means something I guess. She said she couldn't believe I didn't reach out to check on her. I literally don't want to know what shes doing in order to protect myself. My birthday is in less than a week, and I am pretty damn sure shes going to contact me again. wish me luck.
chris21422 Posted December 30, 2013 Posted December 30, 2013 They usually contact because of self validation.. See how she said she couldn't believe you didn't reach out to check on her.. Now she contacts you to get that.. She will be long gone again.. Man don't be available for her.. Make it hard for her to contact you block her in everything. change your number. All it it was, was her essentially just checking up on me to see how I was doing and wanting to wish me a Merry Christmas! I tried to keep it brief to prevent any more trauma for me. I couldn't tell if she was over me or not but I didn't try to read into that much. The fact that she reached out to me means something I guess. She said she couldn't believe I didn't reach out to check on her. I literally don't want to know what shes doing in order to protect myself. My birthday is in less than a week, and I am pretty damn sure shes going to contact me again. wish me luck.
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