FitChick Posted December 27, 2013 Posted December 27, 2013 I thought was interesting. Wayne Goss is a makeup artist in the UK who has a large following on youtube. I love watching his makeup tutorials as well as his more personal channel where he talks about his life.
Onethirtyeight Posted December 27, 2013 Posted December 27, 2013 I think its weird to go past maybe the 3rd date with more than one person and to be sleeping with multiple people.
writergal Posted December 27, 2013 Posted December 27, 2013 I'm definitely not a typical American dater who dates multiple people at the same time. No waay. I can only date one person at a time. Maybe I'll move to the UK to improve the quality of my dating life. 1
GemmaUK Posted December 27, 2013 Posted December 27, 2013 I'm totally with him on that. I don't understand it either. I've never dated more than one person at a time and would feel pretty awful if I did. It does seem to be catching on a bit over here but if I found out a man I was dating was also dating someone else I would be gone.
Vogeltron Posted December 27, 2013 Posted December 27, 2013 This guy has been watching too much American T.V. This country is so big it depends on where you are. If you are on either cost east or west it is much different culturally than the mid west and south. So hard to generalize like that. 1
Author FitChick Posted December 30, 2013 Author Posted December 30, 2013 Comment from a British friend (male): "Depends entirely on what the word “dating” is taken to mean – and I don’t know! "It may be meeting someone for the first time - with potential intent – or no intent. Or sharing some entertainment experience simply for company, or moving on to indicating to each other that they would like to continue meeting with a potential relationship in mind. Or a full (supposed by both) relationship. Also, amongst those with that mindset, meeting someone for sex with minimal preliminaries and no commitment expected by either. Clearly meeting more than one over the same timescale has different interpretations according to where on that wide range. In the UK, most “ordinary” people would adhere to a one at a time principle except for a first few meetings – unless clearly expressed otherwise." The last part of the last sentence is key no matter where you live. As we have seen, too many people are afraid to express their wants, which I've never understood.
regine_phalange Posted December 30, 2013 Posted December 30, 2013 I thought was interesting. Wayne Goss is a makeup artist in the UK who has a large following on youtube. I love watching his makeup tutorials as well as his more personal channel where he talks about his life. I actually agree with him. Im not from the UK, neither from USA.
Eau Claire Posted December 30, 2013 Posted December 30, 2013 If you asked a hundred Americans about dating...a hundred answers. My mother is from London. After finishing college here in the states I went to the UK and lived in a district called Battersea for two years. The big difference I saw was the idea of distance. In California we'd hop in the car and drive to Las Vegas or down to Mexico,etc. in London everything seemed local...as if someone had thrown a fence around your immediate area. I was hit on a lot in London and it was always about what district do you live in. In the states a guy thinks nothing of driving 2 hours to be with his girl. In the UK it's a few tube sops or to a local pub.
Imported Posted December 30, 2013 Posted December 30, 2013 There is more difference between dating in California vs New York. Or Florida vs. Utah. Or Northern California vs. Southern California. But how you can say all of the USA can be generalized to be "multidater" is just crazy and flat out wrong. You know a couple people that proves this? I know a couple that proves the opposite. 1
MalachiX Posted December 30, 2013 Posted December 30, 2013 I've known people from the UK and they don't seem to date any differently than we do in the states (except that they seem to be less conservative). Granted that's just my very limited experience. I think multi-dating is something which some people in the states enjoy but many don't. I (and I think a great number of people here); tend not to have a problem going on a lot of first dates because a first date is just an introduction to someone. In some cases, this may also apply to a second date. After a second date however, I'm not going to see anyone else because I think I owe it to the other person to give them my attention while we figure out if we're right for each other. I certainly never sleep with more than one person at a time. Not dating anyone else doesn't mean that the other person is my "girlfriend." It just means I don't want to potentially sabotage things by making them compete with other people. I expect the same in return. However, I know a number of people who don't seem to have this rule. They seem to be fine with going on multiple dates with several different people until they finally have the "are we exclusive?" conversation. They even seem to be comfortable with sleeping with a number of people while they are doing this. Now, if the people they are dating are doing the same thing, then I don't see anything wrong with this. I do think it makes forming a lasting relationship more challenging (since you get into the habbit of always checking out other options); but how they date is their business and I'm no position to judge. What I don't think is cool is when I see multi-daters deliberately keeping a relationship vague. Often people who multi-date will be seeing several people but not disclose to the others that they are doing so. They use the excuse, "well, we havn't said we're exclusive" but they also do their best not to let any of their partners know about each other. I've had friends who do this and I think it's pretty lousy. I'll ask them, "why don't you just make things clear and tell them that you're seeing other people?" They usually respond, "because then they might not want to keep going out?" I'll then ask, "then why don't you just pick one?" and they'll say, "well, I think this person I'm dating is great in bed but the other one treats me better." In this case, they are essentially using the other people and I think that's an awful thing to do to somebody. That said, I don't really see this as something which would be just true in the USA. I've known British people who describe doing the same thing. 1
normal person Posted December 30, 2013 Posted December 30, 2013 I feel like the definition is flexible. When you're multi-dating, you're sort of auditioning them all until you narrow it down to the one you want to be exclusive with. If you're just dating one person, it might be because the exclusivity discussion's already been had and this a more serious kind of dating. At least that's been my experience.
Author FitChick Posted December 31, 2013 Author Posted December 31, 2013 After finishing college here in the states I went to the UK and lived in a district called Battersea for two years. The big difference I saw was the idea of distance. I was hit on a lot in London and it was always about what district do you live in. In the states a guy thinks nothing of driving 2 hours to be with his girl. In the UK it's a few tube sops or to a local pub. So true. I was in London a while back and had a date. He lived in Kensington and I was staying with a friend in Ealing. I knew he had a car so I asked what time he was picking me up. "But you're in Eeeeeeeaaaalllliiiiiggg!" As if that were a hundred miles away. If you were in Battersea, I'm guessing you had to be on the same side of the river as the guy or be deemed geographically undesirable. God forbid a man would have to walk over the bridge from Chelsea. I suppose the US equivalent would be one person in Manhattan and the other in Brooklyn.
ThaWholigan Posted December 31, 2013 Posted December 31, 2013 Battersea has two sides to it. There's the rich side, and the ghetto side. You don't wanna be walking around Badrick Court at the wrong time Anyway, London is not that different from US as far as I know. There are quite a few multidaters.
Recommended Posts