Author Onethirtyeight Posted December 31, 2013 Author Posted December 31, 2013 I did say I probably shouldn't have commented on an column asking for women's advice. However, I don't think as a male I ever thought a woman would go up to a man and give them the advice I talked about. I was giving that advice to the poster. Who probably doesn't care and don't have the confidence to begin with so it is irrelevant. But seriously, to shoot me down like that. I hate to tell you but with today's women. They are so into facebook and internet etc. There are no real mean willing to ask them out. It is a big shock when someone actually mans up. It is a different paradigm. What? You said I don't have confidence? You don't know me or have any reason to think that and are jumping to conclusions. I have no problem with this in real life. I was just wondering why some people said what they said on here.
Author Onethirtyeight Posted December 31, 2013 Author Posted December 31, 2013 masculine aka aggressive is what ladies want. they don't desire niceness. ladies want masculine despite the niceness. You're so wrong. Bitches want aggressive men. That's why you see the loud drunk chicks with the douchey PUA guys. Any girl worth dating doesn't want to deal with an aggressive *******
Pretty.in.Pink Posted December 31, 2013 Posted December 31, 2013 I'm perfectly fine with a stranger chatting with me. Guys have been respectful and articulate, and we have a fun conversation. Usually, I think they're just being friendly and it's nothing more than small talk, until they ask for my number or a date. Catches me a little off-guard, but I've dated a few guys this way. I encourage guys to use all avenues available to them, and that includes cold approaches. Just understand that most of the time, the answer will be "no." Pick yourself up and try again, and eventually you'll get a date. 1
pteromom Posted December 31, 2013 Posted December 31, 2013 What could a guy say to you on the street that would not cause you to automatically label him a creep or a serial killer? "Cool shoes!" "Hi." (In the parking lot) "I like your car. I've been looking at those..." (In the grocery store) "I'm making soup and don't know whether I should go with chicken or beef. What do you think?" So basically, it would need to be something RELEVANT to what is happening around us, and nothing about how "beautiful" or "sexy" I am (creepy!) And he couldn't just ask for a number after a few lines back and forth. It would have to be natural when/if it happened. And if he was staring at my chest or leering or something, that would kill any potential chemistry and turn it to creepsville. Women don't want to be seen as objects. We don't want to be seen as conquests, or breasts and vaginas that happen to have faces. We don't want to be seen as interchangeable. We want men to see us as people. We want to be seen as who we are, and we want connections to be built on a desire to know US better. Not just a desire for any woman or a desire not to be alone, but a genuine interest in who we are. It can be done "cold". But it's all in HOW it is done. You have to make someone feel interesting, not just make them feel that you are interested. 2
pteromom Posted December 31, 2013 Posted December 31, 2013 I find high fives COMPLETELY awkward and also very platonic. If a man high fives me I automatically assume there is zero romantic interest there. See, and I would like it! I would think he is a person who is open and fun, and just a little bit dorky, which is a good combination to me!
ThaWholigan Posted December 31, 2013 Posted December 31, 2013 Don't let this thread discourage you from cold approaching if that is your mode. There will be women who respond to it, and if your social circle doesn't include many available women, I'd advise you to both expand your social circle AND cold approach. Use all avenues. 1
pteromom Posted December 31, 2013 Posted December 31, 2013 whatever. since ladies respond to guys who refer to them as objects. ???? The only "ladies" that respond to guys who refer to them as objects are those who have major issues with their self-image and their sexuality. They get validation from men who desire them. That's not what we are talking about here - I don't believe anyway. We're talking about "nice" men cold approaching "nice" women in hope of making a connection. 1
pteromom Posted December 31, 2013 Posted December 31, 2013 open and fun whatever the hell that means Open = open to getting to know people. Not closed off. Fun = you know, smiling and enjoying life and such.
pteromom Posted December 31, 2013 Posted December 31, 2013 There will be women who respond to it. And THAT is the key. Finding someone who connects with you. You'll never come up with an approach that connects with 100% of women, because we are all different. Be yourself, and focus on finding the woman/women (depending on your goal) who vibe/s with you. One woman's fun-loving high five guy is another woman's weirdo. One woman's romantic Don Juan is another woman's cheesy schmaltz. One woman's dark mysterious Greek god is another woman's greasy slimeball. You can't be attractive to EVERYONE. So just be you. But you have to SHOW YOURSELF. You can't walk around withdrawn like a blank canvas and expect to connect with someone.
pteromom Posted December 31, 2013 Posted December 31, 2013 being open is meaningless, even bad, females want mystery. I don't! I want openness and honesty. Mystery just means someone who is closed off and unknowable, and that is unattractive to me. fun, you'll never get that from me again, how about females want a guy that actually has a job. A guy who has a job is like a baseline requirement. That's like saying "a guy with a pulse". But if someone won't get fun from you, why would they want to invest in a relationship with you? If you don't want to have fun with someone, what is the point in dating in the first place?
pteromom Posted December 31, 2013 Posted December 31, 2013 females say that all the time but that doesn't mean a thing. mystery, unpredictability, makes you miss them. I don't agree with you. Yeah, unpredictability will have a woman hovering around the phone analyzing whether you like her, but that's not a way to build an honest relationship. If the goal is just to confuse women into sleeping with you out of desperation to make you like them, then sure, utilize "mystery" to your benefit. But if you are trying for a LTR, openness is the way to go. not every guy has a steady job. not even close. True. But those guys would never be on my radar as potential matches if I was single. You may be too old for fun, but I'm too old to finance someone. I am 37 too old for fun. This is sad to me. I'm older than you, and I love having fun and being silly and laughing. You are NOT too old for fun. But you'd have to make the choice to drop your defenses and anger and trust yourself to be OK no matter what any woman might do to you.
AD1980 Posted December 31, 2013 Posted December 31, 2013 Whenver i strike up a convo with a women she usually ends it pretty abruptly not sure if its because shes not physically attraced to me or maybe im just a bore or probably a bit of both
Author Onethirtyeight Posted December 31, 2013 Author Posted December 31, 2013 Whenver i strike up a convo with a women she usually ends it pretty abruptly not sure if its because shes not physically attraced to me or maybe im just a bore or probably a bit of both If its stopping abruptly its not because she thinks you're so ugly she doesn't want to talk to you. That conversation never would have started. It means she was uncomfortable with where the conversation went. 1
AD1980 Posted December 31, 2013 Posted December 31, 2013 If its stopping abruptly its not because she thinks you're so ugly she doesn't want to talk to you. That conversation never would have started. It means she was uncomfortable with where the conversation went. I usually stay pretty safe in convos with these women im not trying to make the feel uncomfortable im probably just a bore
Author Onethirtyeight Posted December 31, 2013 Author Posted December 31, 2013 I usually stay pretty safe in convos with these women im not trying to make the feel uncomfortable im probably just a bore Same thing. Boring is awkward and awkward is uncomfortable. One thing you can do is if you can tell the conversation is getting tough you can ask her some question you know she's going to have an opinion on.
AD1980 Posted December 31, 2013 Posted December 31, 2013 Same thing. Boring is awkward and awkward is uncomfortable. One thing you can do is if you can tell the conversation is getting tough you can ask her some question you know she's going to have an opinion on. I figure if shes interested in me at all shed ask a question back at some point, if i have to try to keep the convo going it means shes looking for a way out already
ThaWholigan Posted December 31, 2013 Posted December 31, 2013 There are ways around being "boring". You don't have to doom yourself to it.
AD1980 Posted December 31, 2013 Posted December 31, 2013 There are ways around being "boring". You don't have to doom yourself to it. Your personality is your personality its not like i know what im saying is boring while im saying it
ThaWholigan Posted December 31, 2013 Posted December 31, 2013 Your personality is your personality its not like i know what im saying is boring while im saying it whatever, you seem to want to stay this way so I have nothing more to say.
AD1980 Posted December 31, 2013 Posted December 31, 2013 whatever, you seem to want to stay this way so I have nothing more to say. You said theyres ways around being boring,im saying i talk about subjects that pertain to a place where at or if im an acquaintance of the girl ill try to bring up something about her i know or somebody we know how am i supposed to know what to say that will somehow excite that person? theyres no handbook
Author Onethirtyeight Posted December 31, 2013 Author Posted December 31, 2013 You said theyres ways around being boring,im saying i talk about subjects that pertain to a place where at or if im an acquaintance of the girl ill try to bring up something about her i know or somebody we know how am i supposed to know what to say that will somehow excite that person? theyres no handbook Conflict makes conversation. Like I said say something she has to have an opinion about. You know something like Miley Cyrus twerking.
Vogeltron Posted January 2, 2014 Posted January 2, 2014 What? You said I don't have confidence? You don't know me or have any reason to think that and are jumping to conclusions. I have no problem with this in real life. I was just wondering why some people said what they said on here. Yup, there are those women who don't like getting hit on in Public by losers who lack self esteem. There is a double standard. They may say they don''t like it at all. But if you are semi decent looking and come up in control with a presence then you will have no problem. I don't know you at all. I agree. Just generalizing. I don't know you at all. I agree. Just generalizing. You sound like a match.com granola munching loser, drove my Prius in. Should really turn in my Man card loser. Just trying to help out.
Recommended Posts