Lisa22 Posted December 27, 2013 Posted December 27, 2013 Merry Christmas to me... My ex-fiance finally posted a picture of him and his new baby. And since our breakup is still new and not advertised to many...I suppose i shouldn't have been terribly surprised when a former mutual high school classmate "congratulated me on the new baby." I was grateful that she left me a private message. As a post on my timeline would have been beyond embarrassing and painful! We've been together for 12 yrs and only few people know we broke up and only a handful know about the baby! He initially promised me to delete his account when I found out about the baby and then 2 weeks later decided if he deleted all our close friends and my family that would solve the problem of ppl finding out!! But obviously that is not the case and I'm unsure how to respond the next time this happens!!
SameOldFear Posted December 27, 2013 Posted December 27, 2013 I'm so sorry! That sounds awful. My ex and I were only together for a year, I can't imagine the pain of the people that had years and even more than a decade with their ex... And a new baby! I would delete him and block him, so you don't see those things. That's too hard for you to deal with. And you can either not reply or if you feel you must, be very formal and business like, "I apologize that you didn't know but he and I separated a while back and that's not our baby." There's also an option on Facebook to prevent you from being tagged in posts or people posting on your wall without you reviewing it first. I would suggest you do that, so you don't get caught in the awkward situation of it being public. 1
Mariposa10 Posted December 27, 2013 Posted December 27, 2013 Sounds like a nightmare!! And he sounds so insensitive!! After 12 years together, and he does something like this?? Wow!! I would probably delete my FB account. Who knows if he's gonna do anything about that picture. I would just disappear from FB. I know it's not fair, but all this drama and heartache can be stopped by deleting FB. How long have you two been separated/broken up/divorced? 1
Author Lisa22 Posted December 27, 2013 Author Posted December 27, 2013 I decided to block him from my FB account, more so for myself than anything. I don't use Fb all the much so I may delete it..if problems ensue. Mariposa, Thank you for your comments. To answer your question, I just found out about the baby at the beginning of Oct and the baby was born on Oct 30. So technically we broke up sometime during that period, but only officially moved out of our home together about 2 weeks ago. Prior to that we were broken up but it didn't feel official since we still lived with one another and that made things confusing...so I would say we've been officially done for 2-3 weeks... Sameoldfear, Thank you for your suggestions! I think that would be a great reply in the event I'm asked again. And I'll have to look into the the whole reviewing before wall posting thing. You are correct after a decade of being with this man, this is hard and the baby thing is even harder...so thank you for your support and validation!
williesd Posted December 29, 2013 Posted December 29, 2013 if I understand, your broken up, find out that in fact he had a baby with someone else two weeks later? don't remove him as friends, do the whole block. I first defriended my ex, she got mean with me, then I blocked her and removed everyone I knew from her. clean slate, no reminders. don't need the pain. my ex fiancé is still friends with my family, last I checked and she'll stay that way to keep tabs on me, possibly, because she did it with her ex. it's all just an immature cycle and I'd suggest not playing any part of it.
joanna-c Posted January 13, 2014 Posted January 13, 2014 Facebook is often a source of problems in relationships. People get divorced because of Facebook! Really! I was reading statistics and it's now brought as evidence in about 30 percent of divorces. Just think of that. Facebook Relationship Problems ? Who?s to Blame? - Psychologia Also when it comes to your ex you still care about, you just don't need to know or see such things. Never mind! One day you will be laughing about it. 1
mea_M Posted January 13, 2014 Posted January 13, 2014 Stay off FB! Very seriously it's like demonic! I don't use my account anymore. I did however go under one of my kids the other day and saw something that just made me sick. Needless to say, that was a mistake! If you are getting upset by what you're reading stay away. Or you could simply re evaluate who is on you're friends list and get out the axe and click delete! I tried both and I found just staying away from what I call fakebook was better for my peace of mind Good luck! Mea:)
acrosstheuniverse Posted January 13, 2014 Posted January 13, 2014 I love facebook, it has never caused me any problems. When I break up with somebody if it's painful for either of us I delete and block them and clear my list up of any acquaintances I've made along the way that aren't actual friends of mine (I gained one good friend from my last relationship). It's nothing personal, I just post stuff on there I only want people I trust to see. Obviously nothing that I wouldn't want an employer seeing and I know it's all permanent etc. but I don't want to share stuff in my life with random people. No more 'friends' I once met at a party years ago or worked with years back, just people who I would stop and talk to on the street, that's my criteria. While in a relationship I don't check my partner's facebook, or have anything on mine that would be suspicious even if they did check. I love being able to share stuff with several friends at once, see funny pictures, gather awesome photos from things we've all done together, great memories! It is what you make of it. When people bash facebook I can't help but think there's usually something they or their partners are doing that they'd probably find another way to do without facebook.
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