send_me_flowers Posted December 26, 2013 Posted December 26, 2013 Hello all been a while since Ive been on. A little update seen my ex we spoke I thought best to have no regrets. So I asked if we could give it another go and he didnt agree he said he wanted to wait to see how we got on dont get why when he knows what we was like. So I said well its now or never and he said not to give him a choice but I've been waiting to long. Since than he has called me 4 times and wished me a merry Xmas in which I gave him a card and he never when that was the reason for him to come round. Why does he call me when he doesn't want us to work Out, always how to find the strength to close this door once and for all Need major advice thank you
TylerDurdenn Posted December 26, 2013 Posted December 26, 2013 He's lonely, bored and misses your attention. He doesn't love you or want to be in a relationship with you. The sooner you start facing the facts the softer the blow will be.
Eau Claire Posted December 26, 2013 Posted December 26, 2013 Yes you do. Move on. You still love him. He wants something different. Beat yourself with a stick or move on. No contact. 1
Author send_me_flowers Posted December 26, 2013 Author Posted December 26, 2013 He's lonely, bored and misses your attention. He doesn't love you or want to be in a relationship with you. The sooner you start facing the facts the softer the blow will be. Thanks for your reply, I know it just hurts so much to think that he can hurt me all over again 3 months NC and to pop back in my Life is unfair Thank you Tyler for your time
Author send_me_flowers Posted December 26, 2013 Author Posted December 26, 2013 Yes you do. Move on. You still love him. He wants something different. Beat yourself with a stick or move on. No contact. I never contact him. It's always him that contacted me that's what I don't get. 3 months I never contacted him once and I never have. But as Tyler said bored I think I will change my number but than I think why should I have too
TylerDurdenn Posted December 26, 2013 Posted December 26, 2013 Thanks for your reply, I know it just hurts so much to think that he can hurt me all over again 3 months NC and to pop back in my Life is unfair Thank you Tyler for your time No problem, I'm in the same position as you right now.. It's horrible but one day this weight will be lifted from our shoulders. Smile
xUnknown Posted December 27, 2013 Posted December 27, 2013 Well, I'm sort of in your shoes, so to speak. My ex came back to me, I told her I have to do some thinking and really consider all this. She said however long it takes, shes in for the long haul. So, From my point of view, and I'm sure many people here will understand, it makes sense to be timid, he still has the thoughts of the breakup in his head. You have to give him some time...don't wait around forever (I don't expect my ex to), but she understands that that is a big choice. I kind of don't understand how long you were waiting for him to give you the answer. If you went back to him and he said he wasnt sure and you gave him the ultimatum that night - then yes, I think you were being a little bit pushy. He needs time to think. Give him a month. Let his emotions clear. The point is, it CAN'T be like last time...because it didn't work out last time. It has to be NEW. He has to get over the breakup - or else he'll have the thoughts and worry that you'll break up with him again in the back of his head, which will lead to resentment and ultimately not working out yet again. tldr; Give him some more time. A month. If nothing then, move on. Don't contact him. You have to play the waiting game now since you broke up with him in the fist place.
chris21422 Posted December 27, 2013 Posted December 27, 2013 You shouldn't ask him that.. sorry to say but you look like your needy and desperate doing that. Those "Getting back together words should be coming out from him" not you.. Go back No Contact and start the he doesn't exist mentality. Hello all been a while since Ive been on. A little update seen my ex we spoke I thought best to have no regrets. So I asked if we could give it another go and he didnt agree he said he wanted to wait to see how we got on dont get why when he knows what we was like. So I said well its now or never and he said not to give him a choice but I've been waiting to long. Since than he has called me 4 times and wished me a merry Xmas in which I gave him a card and he never when that was the reason for him to come round. Why does he call me when he doesn't want us to work Out, always how to find the strength to close this door once and for all Need major advice thank you
Author send_me_flowers Posted December 27, 2013 Author Posted December 27, 2013 Well, I'm sort of in your shoes, so to speak. My ex came back to me, I told her I have to do some thinking and really consider all this. She said however long it takes, shes in for the long haul. So, From my point of view, and I'm sure many people here will understand, it makes sense to be timid, he still has the thoughts of the breakup in his head. You have to give him some time...don't wait around forever (I don't expect my ex to), but she understands that that is a big choice. I kind of don't understand how long you were waiting for him to give you the answer. If you went back to him and he said he wasnt sure and you gave him the ultimatum that night - then yes, I think you were being a little bit pushy. He needs time to think. Give him a month. Let his emotions clear. The point is, it CAN'T be like last time...because it didn't work out last time. It has to be NEW. He has to get over the breakup - or else he'll have the thoughts and worry that you'll break up with him again in the back of his head, which will lead to resentment and ultimately not working out yet again. tldr; Give him some more time. A month. If nothing then, move on. Don't contact him. You have to play the waiting game now since you broke up with him in the fist place. Hey thanks for the reply. Well I've waited for nearly 8 months 3 of them we had no contact. He contacted me saying he hoped I was ok, he broke up with me I believe the reason is because he was with someone else although he won't admit it. I was nearly over him and getting on and forgetting him. Now I'm back to square one. I'm sorry you are going through the same thing
Author send_me_flowers Posted December 27, 2013 Author Posted December 27, 2013 You shouldn't ask him that.. sorry to say but you look like your needy and desperate doing that. Those "Getting back together words should be coming out from him" not you.. Go back No Contact and start the he doesn't exist mentality. Thank you I know I shouldn't have. But I wanted to have no regrets I've done everything I could have to make it work but you are right I suppose now if I reflect back on it in the future I can say I tried my best. I'm not desperate or needy I never contact him but I haven't moved on either. I suppose in a way I can move on now with no regrets and no guilt because I tried. Thanks for your reply
Teejee Posted December 27, 2013 Posted December 27, 2013 It's good that you tried to make it work so you won't regret that you didn't your very best to make it work. Now you got closure and you can begin with the healing process I guess.
Author send_me_flowers Posted December 27, 2013 Author Posted December 27, 2013 It's good that you tried to make it work so you won't regret that you didn't your very best to make it work. Now you got closure and you can begin with the healing process I guess. Thank you, I just don't feel worthy anymore I don't understand how someone can reconnect after 3 months to hurt me all over again, so selfish of a man
xUnknown Posted December 27, 2013 Posted December 27, 2013 Hey thanks for the reply. Well I've waited for nearly 8 months 3 of them we had no contact. He contacted me saying he hoped I was ok, he broke up with me I believe the reason is because he was with someone else although he won't admit it. I was nearly over him and getting on and forgetting him. Now I'm back to square one. I'm sorry you are going through the same thing Thank you. I'll make it through though. So will you. I was confused, I didn't realize who broke up with who. Yeah, I always feel if the person broke up with you, its their job to reconcile - not yours.
Author send_me_flowers Posted December 27, 2013 Author Posted December 27, 2013 Thank you. I'll make it through though. So will you. I was confused, I didn't realize who broke up with who. Yeah, I always feel if the person broke up with you, its their job to reconcile - not yours. I'm such a fool I feel like that way. I shouldn't have said can we start again I thought he loved me when he called me but he doesn't i wish he never called contact is pain
Recommended Posts