Short Guy

[silicone]

A better example would be curve sizes as facial features are largely subjective when it comes to attraction. But height and bust size/hip size are measured by numbers. You either are the number or you aren't.

 

Bust size has a variety of attractions

[Ruby Slippers]

A better example would be curve sizes as facial features are largely subjective when it comes to attraction. But height and bust size/hip size are measured by numbers. You either are the number or you aren't.

Reputable studies have shown that physical beauty isn't really that subjective. Sure, there's a cultural component, but if you survey thousands of American men and women, for example, by showing them pictures and asking for ratings of beauty on the 1-10 scale, you'll see that objective assessments are fairly consistent. Men in particular tend to mostly agree that woman A is a 10, woman B is a 7, and woman C is a 4. Women's ranges are wider overall (some women rate man A a 9, while others rate him a 6), though not with wild variations.

 

All other factors being equal, man A who is born 6'2" will attract more women than man B who is born 5'4". And woman A who is born an 8 will attract more women than woman B who is born a 5.

 

That isn't any more or less fair for anybody. It just is. Tall man and pretty woman aren't any better as people than their shorter and less pretty counterparts. They got lucky by accident of birth.

 

The 5'4" guy and the 5 girl can whine about it and give up, or accept it and have a good life.

[Sand Man Dan]

I am really attracted to some things.. Like his face, his personality, not to mention his voice/the way he talks is so unbelievably sexy to me. But he's just so tiny it weirds me out and I'm afraid people would look at us funny if we were a couple. I hate that I feel this way.

 

 

You aren't ready for a relationship at all.

[Badsingularity]

 

All other factors being equal, man A who is born 6'2" will attract more women than man B who is born 5'4". And woman A who is born an 8 will attract more women than woman B who is born a 5.

 

If a guy is 6'4" in his head, while in reality he is 5'8".

 

Women's reactions to him will often agree with whats in his head.

 

This is a good thing for guys to learn.

[AD1980]

I think height is a good example of a double standard, with men on the losing side. (Of course, women get the bad end of the deal when it comes to double standards plenty.)

 

The ideal male, to most women, is tall. That's a simple fact. Just like the ideal woman, to most men, has a pretty face with cute small nose, big lips and eyes, small chin, smooth skin with smaller pores. No man has anything to say about the height he was born with, and women also have no say about the facial features they were born with.

 

I find it funny when short guys complain about being overlooked for a feature they were born with and can't help, when they do the same to women all the time. Doesn't feel so great, does it?

 

So all a tall man has to do is exist to be attractive even if he brings nothing else to the table physically but height? lol

[MrCastle]

You're painting a dark world Rubes

[MalachiX]

I can appreciate your point of view but it doesn't change mine. Physical attraction is important to me and I assume it is for a lot of people. If it were not, dating would be a lot easier wouldn't it. I don't think it's shallow to feel this way however you obviously have a different opinion on the subject, and that's okay. I have dated a few men my own height and it was an issue for me, i'm sorry but it was. Doesn't mean they were a bad person or unworthy, it was just simply a turn off for me. It also doesn't mean I'm a bad person or unworthy either.

 

Didn't say I wanted to change your mind about who to date. I just suggested that you might want to examine what seems like a major double standard. I also didn't say you were a bad person.

 

What I've said several times to you is that I haven't heard you (or any other women who seem so concerned with height), defending a man who says, "I think this girl is perfect in just about every way but her boobs are too small so I'm not gonna bother with her." I'll ask again: When you hear something like that, do you cheer for this guy and say, "that's great! He's standing up for what he finds attractive." Or, do you roll your eyes and think, "shallow pig?"

 

If you are supportive of a guy who cares so much about breast size then I'm not taking issue with you. I may totally disagree with how you're cool with letting a minor physical thing that it outside of someone's control sabotage a relationship, but at least you're consistent. On the other hand, if you react negatively to men who put down women based on minor things about their bodies, then I do think that's a double standard.

 

Often we don't realize our double standards until someone points them out to us. The question is how you react when you're made aware of them. Someone who says, "I know I have a double standard but I'm not going to change my mind or act any differently" is acting in a way that I find pretty disgusting. I don't pretend to be a moral authority so I don't like to say someone is a "bad person" but I will call out people who don't feel they should treat others the way they expect to be treated.

[Weezy1973]

 

All other factors being equal, man A who is born 6'2" will attract more women than man B who is born 5'4". And woman A who is born an 8 will attract more women than woman B who is born a 5.

 

 

Likely true, but of course all other factors are never equal. Also, people that place high value on the physical appearance of potential partners are likely lower quality partners themselves as superficiality is not a great quality for long term, deep, meaningful relationships.

 

People should be thankful when they are rejected by someone solely because of their superficial, physical qualities. That person would likely make a horrible long term partner.

[MrCastle]

Likely true, but of course all other factors are never equal. Also, people that place high value on the physical appearance of potential partners are likely lower quality partners themselves as superficiality is not a great quality for long term, deep, meaningful relationships.

 

People should be thankful when they are rejected by someone solely because of their superficial, physical qualities. That person would likely make a horrible long term partner.

 

I was going to say that. Yeah when "all things are equal" people will pick the more physical aesthetic person as a tie breaker. But things are never equal. Like I've said before -- I'm not out here competing against other 5'7 men. Dating doesn't have weight classes. When a quality woman accepts me, she's also turning down the 6'0 jock, or the guy who's in his 20s and already owns a house, or whatever it is someone else may have over me. Looks, money, status, whatever. Why? Because we have chemistry. Because my personality coupled with my looks were enough for her to want me and not another man. It is what it is. When you got it, you got it. I don't think there is a universal personality that attracts all women, but there are men who know how to make the most out of what they have, and men who don't. Guess which one I am.

[Content]

Im 5'8 on a good day and never had problems with women and im in nyc were theyres dumb articles that state the contrary.

 

This height obsession is mostly an old thing, Have i heard some women in my lifetime and my circles state a preference for taller men? sure just like ive heard numeorus other different preferences so what.

 

I think people need to take alot of what is said on here and forums like this with a grain of salt no offense to anyone but you get alot of loons and unstable people posting in forums like these as you can see from this thread.

 

Dont think most people are as crazy or superficial as you read on here.Theyres a reason alot of people here are not in relationships for long and searching for answers constantly.

[silicone]

Im 5'8 on a good day and never had problems with women and im in nyc were theyres dumb articles that state the contrary.

 

This height obsession is mostly an old thing, Have i heard some women in my lifetime and my circles state a preference for taller men? sure just like ive heard numeorus other different preferences so what.

 

I think people need to take alot of what is said on here and forums like this with a grain of salt no offense to anyone but you get alot of loons and unstable people posting in forums like these as you can see from this thread.

 

Dont think most people are as crazy or superficial as you read on here.Theyres a reason alot of people here are not in relationships for long and searching for answers constantly.

 

If I may say so, you're above the average height of most women, a lot of women will date you. I am not invalidating your post however.

 

Is height an OLD obsession? Possibly - except my own experience says otherwise.

 

I don't think it's a good idea to take it with a grain of salt - but I think it's advised to be informed and wary of it. Just don't place a massive emphasis on it, because it is absolutely draining, it wears down your self esteem and confidence - it is nothing less of being toxic.

 

In general, OLD (heterosexual) doesn't work for men, especially men with socially perceived flaws.

 

There's a reason why they are saying that they wouldn't date a short guy, and they aren't lying.

[MrCastle]

If I may say so, you're above the average height of most women, a lot of women will date you. I am not invalidating your post however.

 

Is height an OLD obsession? Possibly - except my own experience says otherwise.

 

I don't think it's a good idea to take it with a grain of salt - but I think it's advised to be informed and wary of it. Just don't place a massive emphasis on it, because it is absolutely draining, it wears down your self esteem and confidence - it is nothing less of being toxic.

 

In general, OLD (heterosexual) doesn't work for men, especially men with socially perceived flaws.

 

There's a reason why they are saying that they wouldn't date a short guy, and they aren't lying.

 

I don't know what good it would do any short man to be "wary of it," just like I don't know what good it would do for a flat woman to hear how much more desirable curvy women are, and so on and so forth.

 

I really think your state of mind dictates a lot of what goes on in your life. I truly believe the reason I've gone 26 years without being rejected for my height is because I grew up believing it wasn't an issue.

 

Thinking in the back of your mind that every woman you speak to is secretly hoping you were taller or something is going to prevent you from forming healthy relationships with them. Insecurities like that damage relationships or prevent them from even forming.

 

I don't know what experiences you've had, but I would write those chicks off and laugh at what they missed out on, rather than sulking and thinking every woman out there feels the same as they do.

[Chocolat]

But men get judged for facial features as well unless youre telling me as long as a guys tall it doesnt matter what his face looks like.

 

So men are judged on two things they cant control[height and face] women one[face]

 

All people are judged, often on criteria they cannot control. Women are often judged on breast size, which is just as immutable as facial features.

[Cinnimon]

Didn't say I wanted to change your mind about who to date. I just suggested that you might want to examine what seems like a major double standard. I also didn't say you were a bad person.

 

What I've said several times to you is that I haven't heard you (or any other women who seem so concerned with height), defending a man who says, "I think this girl is perfect in just about every way but her boobs are too small so I'm not gonna bother with her." I'll ask again: When you hear something like that, do you cheer for this guy and say, "that's great! He's standing up for what he finds attractive." Or, do you roll your eyes and think, "shallow pig?"

 

If you are supportive of a guy who cares so much about breast size then I'm not taking issue with you. I may totally disagree with how you're cool with letting a minor physical thing that it outside of someone's control sabotage a relationship, but at least you're consistent. On the other hand, if you react negatively to men who put down women based on minor things about their bodies, then I do think that's a double standard.

 

Often we don't realize our double standards until someone points them out to us. The question is how you react when you're made aware of them. Someone who says, "I know I have a double standard but I'm not going to change my mind or act any differently" is acting in a way that I find pretty disgusting. I don't pretend to be a moral authority so I don't like to say someone is a "bad person" but I will call out people who don't feel they should treat others the way they expect to be treated.

To answer your question, in short, If a man finds small boobs to be a turn off then I have no problem with his statement. I do not have double standards. People are attracted to who they are attracted to, it's just that simple. If I don't like the taste of chocolate then why would I choose to eat it?

[Emilia]

Reputable studies have shown that physical beauty isn't really that subjective. Sure, there's a cultural component, but if you survey thousands of American men and women, for example, by showing them pictures and asking for ratings of beauty on the 1-10 scale, you'll see that objective assessments are fairly consistent. Men in particular tend to mostly agree that woman A is a 10, woman B is a 7, and woman C is a 4. Women's ranges are wider overall (some women rate man A a 9, while others rate him a 6), though not with wild variations.

 

All other factors being equal, man A who is born 6'2" will attract more women than man B who is born 5'4". And woman A who is born an 8 will attract more women than woman B who is born a 5.

 

That isn't any more or less fair for anybody. It just is. Tall man and pretty woman aren't any better as people than their shorter and less pretty counterparts. They got lucky by accident of birth.

 

The 5'4" guy and the 5 girl can whine about it and give up, or accept it and have a good life.

I think this is true when objectively looking at photos on a piece of paper but not when it comes to real life experiences. Which is why OLD is such hard work.

 

Attraction is not only skin deep, personality is a large part of it and as some of the guys alluded to it here already, those that recognise that looks only play some part are more likely to be in the position to maintain long term relationships. They have a healthier and more substantial way of relating to the opposite sex. Partly because I think they also recognise and understand their own attraction patterns.

[somedude81]

All people are judged, often on criteria they cannot control. Women are often judged on breast size, which is just as immutable as facial features.

I seriously doubt any man would turn down a woman just because her breasts were too small or too big.

[Sand Man Dan]

I don't know what good it would do any short man to be "wary of it," just like I don't know what good it would do for a flat woman to hear how much more desirable curvy women are, and so on and so forth.

 

I really think your state of mind dictates a lot of what goes on in your life. I truly believe the reason I've gone 26 years without being rejected for my height is because I grew up believing it wasn't an issue.

 

Thinking in the back of your mind that every woman you speak to is secretly hoping you were taller or something is going to prevent you from forming healthy relationships with them. Insecurities like that damage relationships or prevent them from even forming.

 

I don't know what experiences you've had, but I would write those chicks off and laugh at what they missed out on, rather than sulking and thinking every woman out there feels the same as they do.

 

 

Castle, idk where you live, but I'd love to move there. I have a cut-to-shreds physique from inspired weightlifting. Let me stress that I'm NOT saying this to be cocky. I'm saying it because I still get stomped on the playing field (dating world)

 

I've had one GF. I am well aware of signs of feminine interest from first hand experience watching my 6'2 best friend literally do nothing but play beer pong with me at parties and havin girls all over him. I also lived with him for a year, he got laid by 16 different girls; I, by one. I am not unconfident. TRULY. I have a handsome face. I'm not the star of the show, but maybe I MUST be to achieve a modicum of success? But nope, stop the show, hold up, cause I'm 5'8. It nullifies anything else. It absolutely is universally unattractive to women. No that's not their fault. It's just nature.

 

I see the dismissal on their faces. I see them become uncomfortable with me flirting with them. I see their lack of respect for me. And I can tell you. It is soul-sucking. To be such a great catch, Im that guy thats never going to cheat erc. idc what you guys think but in my real life i definitely have an edge. Im well aware of the "nice guy" and can assure you, thats not me. But i DO treat women with respect. To have been raised to respect women, hold the door for them, treat them right, dont be rude. My mother and father gave me the best genes i could ask for..... but the inherent self esteem that should come with that is completely invalidated due to some para-evolutionary loose string instinct.

[regine_phalange]

[..] cut-to-shreds physique [..] I have a handsome face.[...] Im that guy thats never going to cheat [...] i definitely have an edge. [...] i DO treat women with respect.

 

When you move where MrCastle lives, let me know, so I move there too.

[lollipopspot]

Every man gets lucky once.

 

But if I end up going out on dates early next year then I'll change my tune.

 

Right now I'm still sore from the breakup and I'm back to being bitter and angry.

 

The bitter and angry will definitely keep you from getting dates.

 

Do you know any non-obese women that aren't the best looking that have troubles getting dates?

 

Yep.

 

I am well aware of signs of feminine interest from first hand experience watching my 6'2 best friend literally do nothing but play beer pong with me at parties and havin girls all over him. I also lived with him for a year, he got laid by 16 different girls; I, by one. I am not unconfident. TRULY. I have a handsome face. I'm not the star of the show, but maybe I MUST be to achieve a modicum of success? But nope, stop the show, hold up, cause I'm 5'8. It nullifies anything else. It absolutely is universally unattractive to women. No that's not their fault. It's just nature.

 

I see the dismissal on their faces. I see them become uncomfortable with me flirting with them. I see their lack of respect for me. And I can tell you. It is soul-sucking. To be such a great catch...

 

I find this hard to fathom, and I wonder if sometimes when people don't do well they look to the easiest thing to blame (race, weight, height, bad skin, etc.) when it's more about chemistry. At 5'8" it wouldn't even register to me that you are "short." Literally that wouldn't be on my radar at all. You're at least 3" taller than average American female (and you're taller than Tom Cruise and that guy seems to have done fine)

[regine_phalange]

By the way, wearing high heels when on a date with a man that is the same height as you (+-3 cm) -> amazing.

 

1) You feel like a top model. Really. Great self esteem booster.

2) He feels like he is dating a top model. And feels proud of himself.

 

Don't be foolish.

I did that when I was going out with my ex and we were both very happy

[Sand Man Dan]

When you move where MrCastle lives, let me know, so I move there too.

 

 

 

Trying to list positive features that STILL get you nowhere if you are short. I'm not attempting to boast.

[regine_phalange]

Trying to list positive features that STILL get you nowhere if you are short. I'm not attempting to boast.

 

I wasn't being sarcastic!

[Sand Man Dan]

The bitter and angry will definitely keep you from getting dates.

 

 

 

Yep.

 

 

 

I find this hard to fathom, and I wonder if sometimes when people don't do well they look to the easiest thing to blame (race, weight, height, bad skin, etc.) when it's more about chemistry. At 5'8" it wouldn't even register to me that you are "short." Literally that wouldn't be on my radar at all. You're at least 3" taller than average American female (and you're taller than Tom Cruise and that guy seems to have done fine)

 

 

I find it hard to fathom as well!

 

Can you believe yourself to be a great catch, yet be wrong?

 

Can ones definition of "great catch" differ from all of your opposite-sex peers?

 

Tom Cruise is a known lift wearer. He's also got an exceptionally handsome face.

 

I'm not disillusioned, I just have my experiences to go off of.

 

I can't even imagine being under 5 foot five as a man.

[MrCastle]

At Sandman -- I live in New York. I've seen every romantic pairing you can think of. Also, in terms of physique, I'm skinny. Slight muscle definition -- but ultimately, more skinny than anything else. So it's not like I'm ripped or anything.

[MalachiX]

One thing which I dislike about conversations about the importance of height, physical fitness, facial features, or other physical characteristics, is that they tend to become either/or discussions.

 

Some things are REAL disadvantages and not in someone's head. You wouldn't go up to a guy who is paralyzed from the waist down and say, "it's no big deal. Just stay positive." I realize that's an extreme example but it holds true. Look at any study and you'll see that shorter men DO have a harder time romantically. For that matter, there are also studies that show that shorter people (men and women); have other troubles as well (something like 85% of US Presidential elections were won by the taller candidate). I don't think there's any problem with awknowladging when something is a real handicap that some people have.

 

HOWEVER! I also agree that the bitterness you tend to see with people obsessed with their height (or any other issue they may have); can be a much greater detriment in the end. Most people I know who live with some kind of handicap don't allow themselves to be bitter at all. They don't do this out of the goodness of their hearts. They do it because they understand that negative energy can be incredibly damaging to all aspects of life (especially dating). I think that most of them have probably felt bitter at some point in their lives but I think they learned to work through that because it's baggage.

 

I guess what I'm saying is that certain things like height can make aspects of your life an uphill battle but obsessing over these things makes it impossible to conquer them. I'm gonna go look for a motivational poster that can sum this up better than I just did.