MalachiX Posted December 28, 2013 Posted December 28, 2013 A lot of good perspectives here. Let me just say that I've gone out with lots of 5'6 guys, No problem. That's actually the perfect height for me. That didn't bother me because they were at least a little bit taller than me. And in fact, if I were taller, I don't think someone my own height would bother me either. This one bothers me because I'm already so short as it is. This kinda statement is troublesome for me. It reminds me of men I've known who insist they need to date a woman who is thinner than they are. Or one who is more attractive than they are. It seems a shame to put such an emphasis on these things and it seems especially problematic to want someone "better" than you. At 5'3 people are always making jokes at how tiny I am. So I can't even imagine what it's like to be a guy that size. Frankly, it sucks. A lot of surveys show that men prefer shorter women and women prefer taller men. You may get a few jokes about your height but (statistically at least), you're going to be more desired for it. Men have all the negatives of being short (which you can look up as they include less success in various careers and less likely to be seen as a "leader") but they also have an extra stigma when it comes to romance. Here's why I think my situation is shallow, other than his height, he seriously has everything else going for him. If he were just a few inches taller, I would think he was perfection. See this is my problem. How can I get my mind to overcome the height issue, I desperately want to. Honestly girl, if it's that big a deal to you then maybe you have a lot of personal growth to do before you can date someone who is good for you. Seriously, if I met a girl who was "perfection" except for one minor phsyica thing (like she was an inch or two taller than me, or had smaller breasts/butt than I like), I wouldn't give it a second thought. I'd be thrilled that I found someone who fit perfectly in all the other ways and not worry about something so trivial. I don't know how your guy feels about you. I'm 5'6 1/2, and I know it sucks being on the shorter end of things. If I was dating a 5'6' girl and it was such a HUGE effort for her to deal with the fact that we were the same height; I probably would get the hell out of that relationship quickly. Maybe you've got loads of guys who are "perfection" banging down your door, but my life has shown me that a good match is rare and I don't have time to waste on such minor issues. And a good half of the problem to me is what other people would think, I couldn't stand it if my family and friends secretly made fun of my boyfriend. Now we all care what people think, no matter what you say, we are social creatures who desire acceptance so please no one say to simply not care what others think. We all care on some level but I sure as hell don't let such things drive a wedge between me and real happiness. I've lived in the deep south in some very conservative areas but I've never hesitated in dating black women. I'm also 1/2 arab (though I don't look it), and I've never shied away from dating a Jewish girl even though it causes both sets of family/friends to "talk." Sure I may care about what other people think but I don't have to act on those silly impulses. If I did, I'd focus on getting a trophy wife/girlfriend to impress everyone. I sure as hell don't make those distinctions with my friends. I've got one VERY close friend who is confined to a wheel chair and I don't worry that anyone makes jokes about him. I've got another friend who is a HUGE black dude with dreadlocks and we look hilarious when we hang out but I don't give a damn. I've got yet another buddy who is a former punk rocker with a mohawk and we also seem like a really odd pair. I don't give a crap what people might say about my seemingly odd friendships with these people. They're just my close friends and they just happen to look very different than me and come from very different backgrounds. For that matter, if you can't handle a few mild jokes about your BF's height than you've got some self esteem issues. And if your friends or family would be legitimately mean (more than just playful jokes) to your BF because of his height, then they sound like jerks. 1
MalachiX Posted December 28, 2013 Posted December 28, 2013 I'm give the advice of a short guy who is just an inch shorter than the guy in question, i.e I'm 5'2". I, like most men, do not want to feel settled for. I do not want to put time and energy into a relationship which has such flaky foundations before it has even began. The fact that you are questioning yourself, but also that you need to seek others' opinions on the matter is not a positive sign. If I were the guy and I had found out that you had reservations based on an immutable trait, I would be very cautious about this relationship. This times a million. Seriously, I think a lot of guys would figure, "if this is such a damn big deal to you then clearly you're not the kind of person I want to be with." @somedude -- most women are not like starla33. Trust me. Shallowness is not a trait found in many women. Well said. When we act cynical and claim that most people are shallow, it just encourages people to keep acting on their worst instincts. 1
lollipopspot Posted December 28, 2013 Posted December 28, 2013 (edited) Women are more picky and shallow then men It sounds as though you've been rejected by women. In general that has more to do with your behavior and attitude than appearance - or if your personality is good, that can overcome a lot of physical shortcomings. Edited December 28, 2013 by lollipopspot 2
runningfar Posted December 28, 2013 Posted December 28, 2013 (edited) If you're not attracted, you can't date him. It's not something I care much about (though by chance, the guys I've been with have all been over 6'1 no matter how short I am), but obviously you do. *shrug* Can't let someone make you feel bad about it too. They all have their preferences and some of them have stated them here quite loudly. Hypocritical to make you feel bad for having a preference. ' If you are attracted, and you're just worried about what people will think. I would try to get over it, who cares so much what other people think? Also, people really aren't judging you as much as you think. They're too busy being concerned someone is judging them. However, it's not this guy's responsibility to GET you over it, if you know what I mean. To others, though, this whole post reeks of him looking good on paper but her not being that into him, and her latching onto the easiest trait to blame it on. I can't imagine she'd be thinking like this if she were really falling for him Edited December 28, 2013 by runningfar 2
irc333 Posted December 28, 2013 Posted December 28, 2013 5'3"? Yeah, that can be a challenge and I'm 5'8" and even I AM considered short to some women. They even factor in their heels as PART of their height. (those are the extremely shallow right there). You may be better off dating a Filipino women or smaller Asian ladies as they are tiny and petite themselves (at least a lot of them) and they are pretty much a sure thing as they aren't much into looks and some are as small as less than 5'0". I know that may sound ridiculous, but it's not entirely unrealistic or just find a non-Asian woman that's very small and petite herself 1
Badsingularity Posted December 28, 2013 Posted December 28, 2013 If a guy is confident and sure of himself he will usually be perceived to be larger than he actually is. If he is unconfident and not sure of himself he will usually be perceived to be smaller than he is. Something for guys to keep in mind.
Cinnimon Posted December 28, 2013 Posted December 28, 2013 That's fine. I'm men who refuse to date a woman because she has small boobs or because she's not blond, or not super-skinny will say the same thing. I just don't see a lot of women defending these guys. We've seen on this thread that there are a lot of different opinions and many women have no issue dating someone the same height (or even slightly shorter) than they are. What surprises me is women who seem to have a problem with men who think a woman's body/attractiveness is all that matters yet don't seem to have any issue completely dismissing a guy for his height. Why do people write stuff like this? I remember a thread from a few months ago when a guy said, "if me thinking it's wrong for a white woman to date a black guy is racist, then I guess I'm racist." It's kinda annoying to have people equate one's height (which one can't really control), with other things that depend a lot more on hygiene and taking care of your body. Almost kinda feels like you're blaming us for being short. It's kind of like a guys saying: I'm just not attracted to women with smaller breasts. Call me shallow. I also don't like women who are INCREDIBLY overweight. Women who put on so much make-up they look like prostitutes. And women with hair all over their body. Height really isn't as comparable to grooming and fitness as you make it seem (just like boob size isn't). I can appreciate your point of view but it doesn't change mine. Physical attraction is important to me and I assume it is for a lot of people. If it were not, dating would be a lot easier wouldn't it. I don't think it's shallow to feel this way however you obviously have a different opinion on the subject, and that's okay. I have dated a few men my own height and it was an issue for me, i'm sorry but it was. Doesn't mean they were a bad person or unworthy, it was just simply a turn off for me. It also doesn't mean I'm a bad person or unworthy either.
silicone Posted December 28, 2013 Posted December 28, 2013 You may be better off dating a Filipino women or smaller Asian ladies as they are tiny and petite themselves (at least a lot of them) and they are pretty much a sure thing as they aren't much into looks and some are as small as less than 5'0". I know that may sound ridiculous, but it's not entirely unrealistic or just find a non-Asian woman that's very small and petite herself Try again, a lot of them are buying I to the height requirement. Sorry, for most women it's not a preference, it's a requirement. 1
silicone Posted December 28, 2013 Posted December 28, 2013 It sounds as though you've been rejected by women. In general that has more to do with your behavior and attitude than appearance - or if your personality is good, that can overcome a lot of physical shortcomings. I don't think it's personality; I'm bi and I've been with more men than women: everyone whom I've been with had said that I have a great personality, am funny, confident etc. Even the women I've been with have said that. I can only guess but evidence shows that I am attractive to a lot of people. "You're great and I really like you, but you're too short for me". I see those women as unworthy of my time and presence, I gain absolutely nothing by their company. 1
AD1980 Posted December 28, 2013 Posted December 28, 2013 People wonder why short men always complain its because male height or lack of is the biggest physical dealbreaker in the dating world[well aside from an ugly face] and one that cannot be changed. When 9 out of 10 women reject you before you can even get your foot in the door and the 10th who doesnt care about height much but all that does is get you past that one step and you still have to be attracctive and make up for it in other areas youre at a SEVERE disadvantage in the datign world 1
stillafool Posted December 28, 2013 Posted December 28, 2013 I'm around your height and I can't date a guy under 5'10. Most guys I have dated are 6ft....I just like being thrown around and can't deal with guys that are the same size as me. Call me shallow all you want, but it is just something I'm attracted to. If getting thrown around is your thing short guys can do this also. Most of them work out and have strong bodies. 1
devastated777 Posted December 28, 2013 Posted December 28, 2013 My ex was 5'6" and I am 5'9" Kinda bothered me because I never wore heels. Always flats but I sure did think all his other attributes outweighed that. No biggie. 1
MrCastle Posted December 28, 2013 Posted December 28, 2013 People wonder why short men always complain its because male height or lack of is the biggest physical dealbreaker in the dating world[well aside from an ugly face] and one that cannot be changed. When 9 out of 10 women reject you before you can even get your foot in the door and the 10th who doesnt care about height much but all that does is get you past that one step and you still have to be attracctive and make up for it in other areas youre at a SEVERE disadvantage in the datign world I don't know man. Like I said -- I do well. There is more to people than just height. I'm not doubting there are women who judge men solely on height -- I'm saying they're a small group, and most women do not care about this stuff. My dating experience proves it. And I never had to "settle" with a petite girl. I went after whoever I wanted. Taller, shorter, not an issue either way. 1
Cinnimon Posted December 28, 2013 Posted December 28, 2013 I don't know man. Like I said -- I do well. There is more to people than just height. I'm not doubting there are women who judge men solely on height -- I'm saying they're a small group, and most women do not care about this stuff. My dating experience proves it. And I never had to "settle" with a petite girl. I went after whoever I wanted. Taller, shorter, not an issue either way. That's because "Castle is every woman's type. Even if they don't know it yet." (love this BTW) 1
MrCastle Posted December 28, 2013 Posted December 28, 2013 That's because "Castle is every woman's type. Even if they don't know it yet." (love this BTW) The truth. 1
somedude81 Posted December 28, 2013 Posted December 28, 2013 I don't know man. Like I said -- I do well. There is more to people than just height. I'm not doubting there are women who judge men solely on height -- I'm saying they're a small group, and most women do not care about this stuff. My dating experience proves it. And I never had to "settle" with a petite girl. I went after whoever I wanted. Taller, shorter, not an issue either way. No offense Castle, but you're a bit of an outlier. It's going to take a few more examples of short guys doing OK with women to make a case. Or me doing well would be enough to convince me
MrCastle Posted December 28, 2013 Posted December 28, 2013 No offense Castle, but you're a bit of an outlier. It's going to take a few more examples of short guys doing OK with women to make a case. Or me doing well would be enough to convince me Come on, you just had a hot girlfriend for half the year. That's better than I've been doing. There's a few guys on here who clean up. Forget their names but they usually post in here when threads like these pop up.
Badsingularity Posted December 28, 2013 Posted December 28, 2013 Come on, you just had a hot girlfriend for half the year. it's true:cool:
somedude81 Posted December 28, 2013 Posted December 28, 2013 Come on, you just had a hot girlfriend for half the year. That's better than I've been doing. There's a few guys on here who clean up. Forget their names but they usually post in here when threads like these pop up. Every man gets lucky once. But if I end up going out on dates early next year then I'll change my tune. Right now I'm still sore from the breakup and I'm back to being bitter and angry.
silicone Posted December 28, 2013 Posted December 28, 2013 If getting thrown around is your thing short guys can do this also. Most of them work out and have strong bodies. My 6ft ex gf love me slamming her against the wall or even having standing sex. 1
Ruby Slippers Posted December 28, 2013 Posted December 28, 2013 I think height is a good example of a double standard, with men on the losing side. (Of course, women get the bad end of the deal when it comes to double standards plenty.) The ideal male, to most women, is tall. That's a simple fact. Just like the ideal woman, to most men, has a pretty face with cute small nose, big lips and eyes, small chin, smooth skin with smaller pores. No man has anything to say about the height he was born with, and women also have no say about the facial features they were born with. I find it funny when short guys complain about being overlooked for a feature they were born with and can't help, when they do the same to women all the time. Doesn't feel so great, does it? 2
PJKino Posted December 28, 2013 Posted December 28, 2013 I find it funny when short guys complain about being overlooked for a feature they were born with and can't help, when they do the same to women all the time. Doesn't feel so great, does it? But men get judged for facial features as well unless youre telling me as long as a guys tall it doesnt matter what his face looks like. So men are judged on two things they cant control[height and face] women one[face] 1
somedude81 Posted December 28, 2013 Posted December 28, 2013 I think height is a good example of a double standard, with men on the losing side. (Of course, women get the bad end of the deal when it comes to double standards plenty.) The ideal male, to most women, is tall. That's a simple fact. Just like the ideal woman, to most men, has a pretty face with cute small nose, big lips and eyes, small chin, smooth skin with smaller pores. No man has anything to say about the height he was born with, and women also have no say about the facial features they were born with. I find it funny when short guys complain about being overlooked for a feature they were born with and can't help, when they do the same to women all the time. Doesn't feel so great, does it? Do you know any non-obese women that aren't the best looking that have troubles getting dates?
MrCastle Posted December 28, 2013 Posted December 28, 2013 I think height is a good example of a double standard, with men on the losing side. (Of course, women get the bad end of the deal when it comes to double standards plenty.) The ideal male, to most women, is tall. That's a simple fact. Just like the ideal woman, to most men, has a pretty face with cute small nose, big lips and eyes, small chin, smooth skin with smaller pores. No man has anything to say about the height he was born with, and women also have no say about the facial features they were born with. I find it funny when short guys complain about being overlooked for a feature they were born with and can't help, when they do the same to women all the time. Doesn't feel so great, does it? A better example would be curve sizes as facial features are largely subjective when it comes to attraction. But height and bust size/hip size are measured by numbers. You either are the number or you aren't.
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