Short Guy

[Ruby Slippers]

they'll all say something like "oh yeah I'll climb that babe," or "oh yeah I'll show that amazon what's what" -- only one man has said "na I'm good. You can have that. Not down with her being that tall."

Yeah, I find those comments kind of gross and objectifying. I'm not a tree or an Amazon princess to be climbed and conquered. But I've heard it all. (And I'm not even that tall!)

 

Since I've not had any negative experiences regarding height, I continue to live like it's not an issue.

It's not something I worry about. I wouldn't turn down a shorter guy based on those past experiences. I'm just noting that for me, it's always been shorter guys who made an issue out of even a slight height difference if he's shorter - like even an inch!

 

One or two guys made NO issue out of it, and that was great!

[mtnbiker3000]

It's not shallow, its called physical attraction. I am not physically attracted to guys my own height. So do you date people of all shapes, sizes, heights and looks? Just curious?

 

I agree. I'm partial to certain looks, weight, height and personality. Some of these are DNA and some aren't. But I definitely have preferences. We all do. If you say you don't... you're lying.

 

And, a lot of times, weight is NOT under ones control. Just sayin...

[MrCastle]

Yeah, I find those comments kind of gross and objectifying. I'm not a tree or an Amazon princess to be climbed and conquered. But I've heard it all. (And I'm not even that tall!)[/Quote]

 

Oh I'm not arguing that. I think both sides say stuff, positively and negatively, when they're in the comfort of a same-sex-only group. When girls are out with their girls I'm sure they say stuff about us I wouldn't particularly care for. I say it's all fair as long as it's good natured and not malicious.

 

 

It's not something I worry about. I wouldn't turn down a shorter guy based on those past experiences. I'm just noting that for me, it's always been shorter guys who made an issue out of even a slight height difference if he's shorter - like even an inch!

 

One or two guys made NO issue out of it, and that was great!

 

That's why I mentioned personal experiences. Which I guess can be applied to everything in life. We are shaped by them. Which is why some men who are short think all women are evil shallow creatures who only date tall men, and other short guys don't care about height. Maybe the former had negative experiences with his height growing up and the latter didn't. We're all shaped by what happens to us personally.

[MalachiX]

It's not shallow, its called physical attraction. I am not physically attracted to guys my own height. So do you date people of all shapes, sizes, heights and looks? Just curious?

 

I don't know you're dating history. I tend to think however that you'd probably not react too well to a guy who posted the following:

 

Hey Guys. Met an amazing girl who's really intelligent, sweet, funny, in great shape, and has an incredibly attractive face. Problem is that she's only a B-cup. Small boobs just kinda weird me out. I just cannot date a girl with less than C-cup breasts, it just feels odd to me. I think it is just a matter of personal preference. To me it's a turn off.

 

or....What if he said something like this?

 

Met a fantastic girl but she weighs as much as I do. I'm average but I want a woman who's thinner and she kinda weirds me out. I just cannot date a girl who ways as much as I do. It's just a turn off

 

Now, if you'd be happy and supportive with the above posts, then I don't think we have any issues. It just seems like a lot of women wouldn't. Personally, I've known more than a few women who get downright hostile when they hear a guy dismiss a woman for weight, height, ethnicity, or breast-size yet have no qualms with being absolutely awful to men who aren't tall enough.

 

Short guys and tall girls both have a hard time on the dating scene. Personally, I do prefer a woman to be SLIGHTLY shorter than I am but I've NEVER dismissed a girl who was my height nor have I even dismissed a girl who as a few inches taller (though I admit, it's been harder to approach them since I hear so many women suggesting that any guy under six feet should be sent to the gas chambers). I can fall in love with just about anyone who has amazing eyes (with the exception of those who are morbidly obese).

 

It just seems odd to me how easily how many people are so comfortable turning one physical aspect of someone which is slightly less than your ideal into a huge thing. It's not like he's a little person or anything. Hell, there are some damn sexy little people anyway (if I was gay I'd be all over Peter Dinkage from Game of Thrones).

[somedude81]

I don't know you're dating history. I tend to think however that you'd probably not react too well to a guy who posted the following:

 

Hey Guys. Met an amazing girl who's really intelligent, sweet, funny, in great shape, and has an incredibly attractive face. Problem is that she's only a B-cup. Small boobs just kinda weird me out. I just cannot date a girl with less than C-cup breasts, it just feels odd to me. I think it is just a matter of personal preference. To me it's a turn off.

 

or....What if he said something like this?

 

Met a fantastic girl but she weighs as much as I do. I'm average but I want a woman who's thinner and she kinda weirds me out. I just cannot date a girl who ways as much as I do. It's just a turn off

 

Now, if you'd be happy and supportive with the above posts, then I don't think we have any issues. It just seems like a lot of women wouldn't. Personally, I've known more than a few women who get downright hostile when they hear a guy dismiss a woman for weight, height, ethnicity, or breast-size yet have no qualms with being absolutely awful to men who aren't tall enough.

 

Short guys and tall girls both have a hard time on the dating scene. Personally, I do prefer a woman to be SLIGHTLY shorter than I am but I've NEVER dismissed a girl who was my height nor have I even dismissed a girl who as a few inches taller (though I admit, it's been harder to approach them since I hear so many women suggesting that any guy under six feet should be sent to the gas chambers). I can fall in love with just about anyone who has amazing eyes (with the exception of those who are morbidly obese).

 

It just seems odd to me how easily how many people are so comfortable turning one physical aspect of someone which is slightly less than your ideal into a huge thing. It's not like he's a little person or anything. Hell, there are some damn sexy little people anyway (if I was gay I'd be all over Peter Dinkage from Game of Thrones).

I agree with pretty much everything you said except that tall women have a hard time in dating.

 

Yes many men prefer a woman that is shorter than he is but the amount of women that are 5'10 or taller is extremely small. Even then, I really doubt that a 5'10+ woman has a harder time getting dates than a 5'4 woman assuming both were attractive and had fun personalities.

 

Now if a guy is shorter than 5'8, ho boy is he going to have it rough, unless he is super smooth. If a guy is short and his game is below average, he'd most likely not get his first girlfriend till his 30's.....

[FineFreshFierce]

I'd date any woman who was within the normal height range.

 

Shapes and sizes, no because that includes weight, which is something that a woman can control.

 

Hopefully you know that a man has no control whatsoever as to what his height is.

 

Maybe you'd understand why it's shallow to reject a perfectly normal looking guy whose only physical fault is something that he had no choice in.

 

I don't necessarily think the criteria for which you judge someone's physical attractiveness is limited to physical aspects they can control. For example if someone had a very unattractive nose or a lazy eye (all characteristics people are born with and can't control) would you say it's shallow to not be physically attracted to them? I know those are extreme examples but still..

 

Also, weight is not always controllable. Thyroid problems that cause excessive weight gain are not unheard of.

[somedude81]

I don't necessarily think the criteria for which you judge someone's physical attractiveness is limited to physical aspects they can control. For example if someone had a very unattractive nose or a lazy eye (all characteristics people are born with and can't control) would you say it's shallow to not be physically attracted to them? I know those are extreme examples but still..

 

Also, weight is not always controllable. Thyroid problems that cause excessive weight gain are not unheard of.

An ugly nose is easily fixed. I don't know if I'd even care about a lazy eye.

 

IMO the vast majority of women are at least cute/pretty as long as they are a healthy weight and don't have any serious health issues. While there are way more short guys that look completely normal than there are "ugly" women.

 

When it comes to weight, I'm not really talking about weight caused health issues. I'm betting that most of the women that are overweight could lose the weight if the seriously tried.

[lollipopspot]

I'd date any woman who was within the normal height range.

 

Shapes and sizes, no because that includes weight, which is something that a woman can control.

 

Hopefully you know that a man has no control whatsoever as to what his height is.

 

Maybe you'd understand why it's shallow to reject a perfectly normal looking guy whose only physical fault is something that he had no choice in.

 

An ugly nose is easily fixed. I don't know if I'd even care about a lazy eye.

 

IMO the vast majority of women are at least cute/pretty as long as they are a healthy weight and don't have any serious health issues. While there are way more short guys that look completely normal than there are "ugly" women.

 

When it comes to weight, I'm not really talking about weight caused health issues. I'm betting that most of the women that are overweight could lose the weight if the seriously tried.

 

No, an ugly nose is not easily fixed. It's a big deal to have surgery, it's expensive, it's painful, it's always a risk, and depending on the way in which the nose is unattractive, it may not be easily fixed at all. I've never liked my nose, but because of the particular thing that I don't like about it, it is not an easy fix whatsoever.

 

Weight is also not a simple thing for everyone to fix, especially if someone has been heavy since childhood or has metabolic or other health issues.

 

A lot of women have hair issues that are not easy to fix (thin/thinning hair, bad texture, etc). Transplants aren't generally recommended for women.

 

Not everyone can wear contact lenses or wants to take the risk of eye surgery.

 

Some people have ugly teeth, and don't want to spend the money or go through the pain and risk (of toxins, damaging teeth, etc.) of having every tooth capped.

 

Many women would not want to subject themselves to the health risk of breast augmentation, even if they have almost no breast tissue.

 

There are many reasons why not everyone can look good according to society's standards. Awkwardness of personality can also cause people to present themselves less attractively.

 

Shortness is just one thing among many. You are far too glib about how easy it is to fix the things that make people feel unattractive. If it were easy, most everyone would look great, and they certainly don't. I don't think it's any more shallow for someone to not like someone's height than it is for them to not like someone's weight or most anything else really. It's by definition shallow.

[Kate9292]

If a woman isn't attracted to a guy, she isn't attracted and that's it. Does it really matter whether it's short, baby face, crappy clothes, bad smell or whatever? She isn't into you and that's end of story.

 

Would you really rather be with a woman who isn't attracted to you at all but gave you a chance because else it would be "shallow"?

[Cinnimon]

I'd date any woman who was within the normal height range.

 

Shapes and sizes, no because that includes weight, which is something that a woman can control.

 

Hopefully you know that a man has no control whatsoever as to what his height is.

 

Maybe you'd understand why it's shallow to reject a perfectly normal looking guy whose only physical fault is something that he had no choice in.

Define YOUR normal?

[Bindi33]

A lot of good perspectives here.

 

Let me just say that I've gone out with lots of 5'6 guys,

No problem. That's actually the perfect height for me. That didn't bother me because they were at least a little bit taller than me. And in fact, if I were taller, I don't think someone my own height would bother me either. This one bothers me because I'm already so short as it is. At 5'3 people are always making jokes at how tiny I am. So I can't even imagine what it's like to be a guy that size. Here's why I think my situation is shallow, other than his height, he seriously has everything else going for him. If he were just a few inches taller, I would think he was perfection. See this is my problem. How can I get my mind to overcome the height issue, I desperately want to. And a good half of the problem to me is what other people would think, I couldn't stand it if my family and friends secretly made fun of my boyfriend. Now we all care what people think, no matter what you say, we are social creatures who desire acceptance so please no one say to simply not care what others think.

[Cinnimon]

You can label me as shallow if you need but I'm just being honest. I am 5'2" and 120 lbs. I do not find 5'2" men attractive,not saying it makes anything wrong with them, just saying I am not attracted to them. If someone doesn't find me attractive because of my height , so be it. If that's being shallow, then I am shallow.

I'm also not attracted to hairy men, men with man boobs or pot bellies, un-groomed facial hair, dirty fingernails and elbows that look like an sos pad..........Sorry, you can just call me Hal lol

[Chocolat]

A lot of good perspectives here.

 

This one bothers me because I'm already so short as it is. At 5'3 people are always making jokes at how tiny I am.

 

Really? In the US, the average height for women is 5'4", so I can't see how someone who is 5'3" is tiny.

 

other than his height, he seriously has everything else going for him.

 

True compatibility is quite rare, imo/ime. I'd give this serious thought. I also tend to think that others are going to think about your guy's height a whole lot less than you think they are.

[MrCastle]

A lot of good perspectives here.

 

Let me just say that I've gone out with lots of 5'6 guys,

No problem. That's actually the perfect height for me. That didn't bother me because they were at least a little bit taller than me. And in fact, if I were taller, I don't think someone my own height would bother me either. This one bothers me because I'm already so short as it is. At 5'3 people are always making jokes at how tiny I am. So I can't even imagine what it's like to be a guy that size. Here's why I think my situation is shallow, other than his height, he seriously has everything else going for him. If he were just a few inches taller, I would think he was perfection. See this is my problem. How can I get my mind to overcome the height issue, I desperately want to. And a good half of the problem to me is what other people would think, I couldn't stand it if my family and friends secretly made fun of my boyfriend. Now we all care what people think, no matter what you say, we are social creatures who desire acceptance so please no one say to simply not care what others think.

 

If you're living your life by what others say, then you're not living your own life. You very much so can simply not care what others think. I know it because I live it. I don't give a f*ck what other people think about my lifestyle choices. I make them for me, not them. This is not just in reference to strangers -- I value what my friends and family say, but at the end of the day, I'm doing what I want, not what they want.

 

You absolutely can channel out the noise, if you choose to do so.

 

Yes we are social creatures, but your life does not have to be ruled by what society says.

[PJKino]

Maybe women should just stick with tall guys if theyre gonna treat every short guy like a make a wish foundation kid that therye doing some huge service to by giving a chance

 

If i was a tall dude forums like this would inflate my ego a ton

[PJKino]

I don't know if that's true for all. Height aside, I know only one man uncomfortable dating a taller woman. And he's average height. 5'9 or so. All other men I know, short, average, tall, etc wouldn't mind dating a taller woman.

 

I think people just try to paint a negative picture of people they were not attracted to in the first place in order to confirm their own prejudices.

 

For example, short men are not allowed to get angry about anything because then people stamp them with the "napoleon complex," and so on and so forth.

 

I think some women try to date short men, although not being truly attracted to them, but to show that they aren't shallow -- and then look for reasons to dump him shortly after. "I felt like he was making too much of his height," etc etc "so I had to let him go."

 

"I'm not the one who had a problem with his height, he was."

 

Like I said, in my experience, of all the men I've spoken to about matters of dating taller women, only one expressed displeasure, and he was not even short. I don't think men care about it at all. I don't care if my girlfriend towered over me. I'm sure women care more about that stuff than men do.

 

Yeah short men seem to get a shorter leash no pun intended in the dating world,it seems as if a women has one bad experience with a short guy every short men in the world is then same to her..Like you said its probably that women arent really attracted to short men and are looking for an excuse as to why short men are unattractive and not ot date them other then just superfical reasons which are really why they dont want to date them..

 

You never hear a women say all tall men are jerks or aholes or ill never date another tall guy again because of a bad experience with a tal guy..

 

Is it possible that the short guy you dated was a jerk because some people whether tall short white black or red are jerks? unless you believe all tall men are tremendous human beings..

 

Its funny if you say all black people or whatever group are bad people your a racist and disgusting person but if you say all short men are the same nobody bats and eye and alot agree..

[MrCastle]

Yeah short men seem to get a shorter leash no pun intended in the dating world,it seems as if a women has one bad experience with a short guy every short men in the world is then same to her..Like you said its probably that women arent really attracted to short men and are looking for an excuse as to why short men are unattractive and not ot date them other then just superfical reasons which are really why they dont want to date them..

 

You never hear a women say all tall men are jerks or aholes or ill never date another tall guy again because of a bad experience with a tal guy..

 

Is it possible that the short guy you dated was a jerk because some people whether tall short white black or red are jerks? unless you believe all tall men are tremendous human beings..

 

Its funny if you say all black people or whatever group are bad people your a racist and disgusting person but if you say all short men are the same nobody bats and eye and alot agree..

 

You do raise a good point in that -- everything else is off limits. A woman's weight, her figure in general, race, religion, etc. Anyone that says they won't date someone for those reasons gets blasted. But for a man's height, it's a whole different story. But that's a whole different thread entirely.

 

All I can say really is that, there are women out there -- both tall and short -- who do not view shortness as some sort of flaw, or negative that they have to put up with. Nor do they consider it settling when they date a man who's short. I know because my entire dating history consists of them.

[Ruby Slippers]

How can I get my mind to overcome the height issue, I desperately want to.

I say date him for a while and see if this becomes less important to you in time. If what you say is true and he really is the whole package except for a few inches of height, I think it would be foolish to discard him for this reason.

 

Date him for another month or so and see how you feel at that point. If you are compatible and get along well, I'm betting these feelings will diminish.

 

If anyone gives you any stupid comments about it, have a response ready - yep, he's 5'3", and there's a lot of smarts/sweetness/sexiness/etc. packed into those 5 feet and 3 inches.

 

That's what I would do in your situation.

[lollipopspot]

You do raise a good point in that -- everything else is off limits. A woman's weight...

 

That's not true. I see people's weight/dateability being a subject of discussion a lot. People mask it as "health," but in reality it's usually a discussion about aesthetics.

Edited December 27, 2013 by lollipopspot

[Phantom888]

A lot of good perspectives here.

 

Let me just say that I've gone out with lots of 5'6 guys,

No problem. That's actually the perfect height for me. That didn't bother me because they were at least a little bit taller than me. And in fact, if I were taller, I don't think someone my own height would bother me either. This one bothers me because I'm already so short as it is. At 5'3 people are always making jokes at how tiny I am. So I can't even imagine what it's like to be a guy that size. Here's why I think my situation is shallow, other than his height, he seriously has everything else going for him. If he were just a few inches taller, I would think he was perfection. See this is my problem. How can I get my mind to overcome the height issue, I desperately want to. And a good half of the problem to me is what other people would think, I couldn't stand it if my family and friends secretly made fun of my boyfriend. Now we all care what people think, no matter what you say, we are social creatures who desire acceptance so please no one say to simply not care what others think.

 

I once knew a girl who had horrible back problems, and finally the orthopedist concluded that one leg was actually 1 inch longer than the other, hence the balance and back issues. She had surgery and removed 1" off of the longer leg.

 

I would imagine if the man were perfection asides from being a few inches too short, he would be motivated to have bone surgery to extend his legs by about 6" via titanium tibia. He would not be able to run fast, but he can still function normally, and would look better to some women. Maybe worth exploring?

[stillafool]

What do you guys think about dating a guy who is extremely short. I'm 5'3 and he's 5'3. It kinda weirds me out because he's also relatively muscular as well. Yes, I know it sounds shallow, and personality should mean more. But seriously, thoughts?

 

At your height I think 5'3 is completely well matched. To me, really short women look strange with tall men.

[lollipopspot]

I would imagine if the man were perfection asides from being a few inches too short, he would be motivated to have bone surgery to extend his legs by about 6" via titanium tibia.

 

It's true, one can do cosmetic limb lengthening. So I guess height can indeed be fixed, like a nose.

[gaius]

Next him for your and his own good. Don't wait until you have to see him in a group of normal height guys getting ragged on and pushed around since he's so tiny.

[somedude81]

At your height I think 5'3 is completely well matched. To me, really short women look strange with tall men.

Nothing looks more goofy than a 5'2 girl trying to dance with a guy that's 5'10.

[FitChick]

It's true, one can do cosmetic limb lengthening. So I guess height can indeed be fixed, like a nose.

That surgery is expensive, dangerous, painful and takes many months. I can't believe anyone would recommend that, especially since people on this board tell women not to have any cosmetic surgery that is far less drastic.

 

He can get a shoemaker to make some Tom Cruise ankle boots with built in lifts.

 

At least you are the same height, unlike this couple, who are very happily married with two kids.

Edited December 28, 2013 by FitChick