Alex2244 Posted December 26, 2013 Posted December 26, 2013 Sorry about this, i havent dated for 5 years so dont know how to do this. Met a girl xmas eve in the pub, we chatted for half an hour and got on well. She said her and her friends were moving on to another place, but gave me her number and said we should meet for coffee sometime in the next week, before she goes back to uni in early january. So, when do i text her and what do i say? I'm clueless it's been so long since i've done this... Today is boxing day night - so its been two days since we met, xmas day and today - should i write tomorrow?
GemmaUK Posted December 26, 2013 Posted December 26, 2013 Yep. Text her you name and something about you that she will remember so she knows who you are. If she doesn't reply in 24 hrs then delete her number and move on. 2
Author Alex2244 Posted December 26, 2013 Author Posted December 26, 2013 Should i mention coffee or just ask her if she had a good xmas, for now... Im really terrible at this.
GemmaUK Posted December 26, 2013 Posted December 26, 2013 Yes, you already mentioned it so do when you text...or even better..call her. :0)
simplicity1 Posted December 26, 2013 Posted December 26, 2013 I'd just text her right now. No need to wait longer. Cut to the chase and ask her to get coffee. Good luck! 1
Poppyolive Posted December 26, 2013 Posted December 26, 2013 Text her, she gave you her number to do so....its exciting & fun. Don't over think it...say like hi this is ......... Nive chatting with you the other night, enter something funny or remind her of something you talked/joked about. Hope you had a great christmas, I'd like to take for for that coffee I mentioned...if your lucky I'll buy you a cookie....something light, fluffy , fun & cute.
MasonJarTeaDrinker Posted December 26, 2013 Posted December 26, 2013 Honestly I say that you call her instead, I've always had great success with girls when I call them instead of text them. It makes it more real and if you can have an actual conversation with her then when you sit down to meet up and talk you won't feel all awkward compared then when you text a lot and then feel weird actually having a conversation. Make the call, don't be scared you got this!
Author Alex2244 Posted December 27, 2013 Author Posted December 27, 2013 Honestly I say that you call her instead, I've always had great success with girls when I call them instead of text them. It makes it more real and if you can have an actual conversation with her then when you sit down to meet up and talk you won't feel all awkward compared then when you text a lot and then feel weird actually having a conversation. Make the call, don't be scared you got this! Isnt it a bit too much though... Obviously i bow to your superior experience, but it just seems that - as we were drunk when we met and were talking, and hardly spoke for a real amount of time, maybe a phone call would be a bit weird, and a text is a bit more casual... I dunno, i see how it makes me seem more confident, but to be honest i've been out of the game so long a nervous phone call will only hinder my cause. So i think im going to go with a simple: hey ellie. Good chatting with you xmas eve. Would be nice to meet up for a coffee. What days work for you? Alex
mtnbiker3000 Posted December 27, 2013 Posted December 27, 2013 Isnt it a bit too much though... Obviously i bow to your superior experience, but it just seems that - as we were drunk when we met and were talking, and hardly spoke for a real amount of time, maybe a phone call would be a bit weird, and a text is a bit more casual... I dunno, i see how it makes me seem more confident, but to be honest i've been out of the game so long a nervous phone call will only hinder my cause. So i think im going to go with a simple: hey ellie. Good chatting with you xmas eve. Would be nice to meet up for a coffee. What days work for you? Alex Don't waste time 'waiting' around for a certain amount of time to pass. That's BS. Be straight forward and do what feels right. It's like riding a bike. You'll remember what to do as soon as you start doing it. Don't play stupid games. And texting is fine, since you have already met face to face. Go for it, man!!!
Author Alex2244 Posted December 27, 2013 Author Posted December 27, 2013 Don't waste time 'waiting' around for a certain amount of time to pass. That's BS. Be straight forward and do what feels right. It's like riding a bike. You'll remember what to do as soon as you start doing it. Don't play stupid games. And texting is fine, since you have already met face to face. Go for it, man!!! Yeah, its not games i think its just not wanting to come across as being too keen, or needy. But you're right maybe that's just BS. I'll write to her tomorrow - hopefully she hasnt wrong-numbered me
the_entertainer1 Posted December 27, 2013 Posted December 27, 2013 Yeah, its not games i think its just not wanting to come across as being too keen, or needy. But you're right maybe that's just BS. I'll write to her tomorrow - hopefully she hasnt wrong-numbered me From a girl's perspective - I like to feel wanted. I've never thought a guy has come across as being too keen or needy! 1
Author Alex2244 Posted December 27, 2013 Author Posted December 27, 2013 From a girl's perspective - I like to feel wanted. I've never thought a guy has come across as being too keen or needy! Horses for courses i guess. No harm can come from my waiting a few days, in my opnion. Some girls dont like it if you're too in their face... I think... I dont know. Depends what kind of girl she is, and i really dont know.
FitChick Posted December 27, 2013 Posted December 27, 2013 Horses for courses i guess. No harm can come from my waiting a few days, in my opnion. Some girls dont like it if you're too in their face... I think... I dont know. Depends what kind of girl she is, and i really dont know. If she is going back to school soon, waiting will give you less time to spend getting to know her. And if you were both drunk, a few days might give her amnesia and she will totally forget who you are or what you said. I like to know if a man is interested. If she found you attractive, she won't be annoyed that you are following up. I think you are afraid of being rejected but welcome to the world of being single. Better to try and fail than to miss an opportunity. 2
D-Lish Posted December 27, 2013 Posted December 27, 2013 The 3 day rule is such BS. If I met a guy and he waited 3 days to text me, I'd probably blow it off. 3
Author Alex2244 Posted December 27, 2013 Author Posted December 27, 2013 The 3 day rule is such BS. If I met a guy and he waited 3 days to text me, I'd probably blow it off. I think in this instance it is mitigating circumstances, as it's christmas. Texting her on xmas day would have been odd, no? Boxing day... Yeah maybe i could have got in contact but everyone is busy with family so again she shouldnt take offense. I think i am okay. She'll know im interested just in the fact that im following up. If she blows me off because i didnt text her over xmas then quite frankly she is too high maintenance for me anyway.
Author Alex2244 Posted December 27, 2013 Author Posted December 27, 2013 If she is going back to school soon, waiting will give you less time to spend getting to know her. And if you were both drunk, a few days might give her amnesia and she will totally forget who you are or what you said. I like to know if a man is interested. If she found you attractive, she won't be annoyed that you are following up. I think you are afraid of being rejected but welcome to the world of being single. Better to try and fail than to miss an opportunity. Not so much afraid of the rejection, just want to give myself the best chance possible of getting it right. Its hard to call it when you dont know the person you're dealing with. She found me attractive, i know that.
CrystalCastles Posted December 27, 2013 Posted December 27, 2013 The 3 day rule is such BS. If I met a guy and he waited 3 days to text me, I'd probably blow it off. ^^^THIS^^^ OP, if I were that girl and you texted me 3 days after, I'd be like, buh-bye! Do you know how annoying game-playing is? Really annoying. I don't want to wonder if you're interested or not. There's nothing shameful about showing interest. And if this girl is truly interested in you, she'll want you to get back to her ASAP. Not days later. So throw all that game-playing sh*t out the window and give this gal a call! Before she starts thinking you've dropped off the face of the planet and that she better go find some other man. 1
Author Alex2244 Posted December 27, 2013 Author Posted December 27, 2013 ^^^THIS^^^ OP, if I were that girl and you texted me 3 days after, I'd be like, buh-bye! Do you know how annoying game-playing is? Really annoying. I don't want to wonder if you're interested or not. There's nothing shameful about showing interest. And if this girl is truly interested in you, she'll want you to get back to her ASAP. Not days later. So throw all that game-playing sh*t out the window and give this gal a call! Before she starts thinking you've dropped off the face of the planet and that she better go find some other man. As i say, it's mitigating circumstances because it's christmas. The three day rule doesnt apply over christmas. Christmas day isnt counted as it would be weird, i met her like 11pm christmas eve, i'll text her in 7 hours time, so that's like 36 hours, so it's a day and half. It's half of the three day rule. Are we all happy with that? It's not game playing it's nervousness, can't a guy be nervous with the first girl he's met after coming out of a 5 year relationship, and not want to mess it up by being too keen? Jeez, you girls.
Graduate Posted December 27, 2013 Posted December 27, 2013 Horses for courses i guess. No harm can come from my waiting a few days, in my opnion. Some girls dont like it if you're too in their face... I think... I dont know. Depends what kind of girl she is, and i really dont know. If a guys takes more than two days to text me after an initial meeting and then takes more than a day to reply to texts afterwards, I assume he is not that interested and I am on the back burner with him. So I will either stop talking to him or back-burner him myself. If you are interested in a girl, make it obvious. You don't have to contact her on an hourly basis, but a message on the day after you met is definitely appreciated.
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