David_1 Posted December 26, 2013 Posted December 26, 2013 I've been with my girlfriend for three months, now and it's going well apart from the fact that she never seems to show any interest in anything I say. At the beginning of our relationship, she seemed more interested but now...most of our conversations are initiated and all about her, and her life. For example, just now I messaged her telling her that I would be over at around 2 (she's away, and I am going to go and see her). She replied with "OK" and then sent me a picture of her dinner, presumably for me to comment on it. I ignored the picture, and said, "I'm really looking forward to coming up" and she went offline. This isn't how she talks to people on the phone, as I've seen conversations she's had with other people and they get more than an "OK" - they get full paragraphs, literally. That scenario is pretty usual, she does this all the time. Now, I'm not stupid. I know the realistic thing is to just end it. But I do love her and want to be with her, I don't want to just walk away and end it. I have no interest in doing that. I would though, just like her to show a little more interest in me and what I'm up to.
ExpatInItaly Posted December 26, 2013 Posted December 26, 2013 That's irritating. Have you talked to her about it? She sounds self-absorbed and like she gets pissy when the attention's not on her. It's a juvenile way to communicate. Let her know how it makes you feel; see how she responds.
Author David_1 Posted December 26, 2013 Author Posted December 26, 2013 That's irritating. Have you talked to her about it? She sounds self-absorbed and like she gets pissy when the attention's not on her. It's a juvenile way to communicate. Let her know how it makes you feel; see how she responds. She does get pissy, yeah. I have let her know in the past, and she did seem to genuinely change but...we're back here again. To be honest, the more I think about how it's making me feel, the more I think I should end the relationship. I don't know if she's happy, but I'm not. It's pretty minor, but tonight we were supposed to be watching a film 'together' - she watches it where she is, I watch it here - but instead, she's gone to a friend's for dinner, hardly messaged me so now I feel like a bit of an idiot. I don't feel appreciated or valued, in this relationship. But at the same time, I am terrified of ending it and going back to being alone and dating - and scared of the actual break up, the hurt etc. This whole thing is a mess.
GemmaUK Posted December 26, 2013 Posted December 26, 2013 What kind of things do you tell her that you have done/been up to? Saying that you are looking forward to coming up is OK..but I would have only been able to respond with 'me too' which would have killed the conversation. Maybe she is trying to steer it into a conversation? Or maybe she was saying 'I'm doing this right now so am a little busy' (eg..having dinner with some folk) I have no issue with someone going offline...life happens. I also don't expect a response at all if they are out and about or with people and I expect the same consideration in return too. 1
Author David_1 Posted December 26, 2013 Author Posted December 26, 2013 What kind of things do you tell her that you have done/been up to? Saying that you are looking forward to coming up is OK..but I would have only been able to respond with 'me too' which would have killed the conversation. Maybe she is trying to steer it into a conversation? Or maybe she was saying 'I'm doing this right now so am a little busy' (eg..having dinner with some folk) I have no issue with someone going offline...life happens. I also don't expect a response at all if they are out and about or with people and I expect the same consideration in return too. This is a fair reply, and you make some good points, Gemma. It's just that it happens quite often, and it's just becoming annoying. She demands attention a lot of the time, but when she's busy, she's busy.:mad:
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