k100danny Posted December 26, 2013 Posted December 26, 2013 me and my ex broke up around 6 weeks ago, I was the (dumper) as it is often referred to on here but it wasn't a nasty break up. we broke up because i have some issues and i felt extremely guilty about this as it caused frustration in the relationship. And it was adding a lot of pressure to me. We never argued whilst together but we have kept in touch and both have innitiated contact at some point, we seem to get on fine and have even at points said we will just see what happens but we have had a couple of arguments also which is strange as i say because we never really argued when together and all i can put it down to is maybe as we drift we realise its totally over or something and maybe its a way of kind of hanging on. I am not giving her breadcrumbs and have actually said that i think she can do better and to NOT wait hoping that it will get better. I would have loved for it to work out but i don't know when i will feel ready and if i still dont in a year that is totally not fair on her and she will have missed out on the chance to have something better with someone else. it seems we are fine speaking wise, we obviously don't speak about other people or ask each other personal questions and then she will seem quite harsh towards me (thats fair enough she has her right to be) then it kind of goes through a cycle again, now im not claiming to be an innocent party in this but it has been hard for me too, people who say dumpers dont care are very wrong and it may just seem this way as people tend to do this as a way to move on i think. the two main arguments have both been about things that have been said about me to her by people who really have no business making a comment and any responsible person would realise it would just hurt her so no good can come from saying it. The first one was from her sister, she told her that she had heard that from a friend of mine that i had cheated whilst together and this may still be going on which was false, i have never cheated in any relationship and her sister finally admitted she had taken something someone said the wrong way and had lied, her reasoning was if her sister thought id cheated it would be easier for her to hate me and move on (stupid right) she appologised but that put a massive devide between us. the second time was recently, a girl i had been out with a few times who is now friend with her sister approached her at a party (i dont know why she would do this or why she would assume my ex would even know who she was) but someone had obviously told her that she was my ex and decided to ask her about how we got together ect and pass comment on how things seemed similar to how we got together. Let me state again i did not go out with this girl, we went on a couple of dates, i'd come out of a relationship a few months previous and didn't want a relationship and we didn't sleep together or anything. I got annoyed at this firstly because the only reason she could know anything about our relationship is from her sister and secondly because she messaged me from the party to tell me she had met this girl and she was really nice (ok that's fine but if you think shes so nice why are you messaging me to let me know, it seems like it bothers you) this has also resulted in an argument about how we keep getting brought up by her sisters friends at parties some of which i have never met. as i say i don't know why we are arguing more now than ever, maybe we are both just finding it hard to let go? we ended it very respectfully and their was no cheating, arguing or bad words said between us until now.
HeartbrokenNewbie Posted December 26, 2013 Posted December 26, 2013 Because there is a lot of hurt there and hurt disguises itself an anger thus resulting is arguments! x x 1
Author k100danny Posted December 26, 2013 Author Posted December 26, 2013 That's pretty much what i put it down to. I mean like i say it's hard for us both to move on and i guess the knowing its over which seems to keep hitting us both now and again and realising it couldn't ever be the same comes out as anger and frustration. People have told me not to text her back but i honestly have no bad feelings and when she is feeling down I can't just ignore someone, don't get me wrong i have initiated contact too but i've tried to keep it very friendly rather than anything couply, she has mentioned many times how she was happy and wishes this had never happened. I do really miss her and i did want it to work out but neither of us have done anything wrong to be in the situation we found ourselves and i think id feel worse letting her stay with me and id also feel worse in myself knowing she could easily find someone who can offer her more.
lovelylilly Posted December 26, 2013 Posted December 26, 2013 Because there is a lot of hurt there and hurt disguises itself an anger thus resulting is arguments! x x I would have said the same thing if heartbroken hadn't of said it first. I dated a guy on and off for five years and we just couldn't make it work because of long distance. We both care for each other and get into some nasty arguments. You guys should give each other some space . Sorry you're arguing so much.
HeartbrokenNewbie Posted December 26, 2013 Posted December 26, 2013 Agreed lovelylilly... there is some serious space needed here... u guys still have some love there so let the bad emotions die down x
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