I finally blocked her

[Kevin_D]

So I finally blocked my ex on Facebook and decided not to respond to any messages anymore.

 

At first, I wanted to to show her that I'm doing fine on my own and I figured that completely ignoring her would be to show weakness. I don't want her to feel that she has that kind of power over me.

 

But things got out of hand. I would get notifications of my friends liking her pictures, since they were posted as public. She wrote stuff on her wall about "how she's madly in love" a month after the breakup (we were together for 6.5 years). She would join conversations I had with my friends, ask me questions, just to ignore my answers.

 

I still can't believe how such a caring individual could turn in to this monster. What are her motives? If she's happy with some new guy, why can't that be enough? Why does she join conversations with my friends? Why does she keep sending me random messages? It's not even like she trying to be nice, these messages are often quite arrogant.

 

I get that she probably "check out" several months ago and all that, but I still can't understand why the dumper wants to slow down the healing process of the dumpee. It seems so egocentrical, it's like she wants me to remain heartbroken in case she changes her mind.

 

Anyway, I don't talk to people who tries to hurt me on purpose. She could just leave me alone, or send me a friendly message from time to time, but I cannot accept this kind of behavior.

 

So from now on, it's 100% NC. I've always considered blocking people a bit immature, but if her only purpose to contact me is to mess with my head, she might go to hell.

 

Merry christmas!

[Nick192]

You did the right thing

[strive]

There are people who like to "keep score" and if she's one of those, she wants to reassure herself that she "won" the breakup. You showing that you're fine is probably hitting a nerve so she's trying to get a reaction from you.

[chris21422]

Blocking them is not immature.

 

You need to do what's best for you. You did great! You should have done that sooner!

[kindofsad]

Well done!!

 

I had a hard time blocking my ex too, I didn't want to seem petty and she saw no reason why we couldn't be facebook friends. Its soo much better with her blocked!

[Kevin_D]

I feel kind of relieved actually. I know people some people are criticising the GIGS theory since it gives dumpees false hope, but reading about it has really helped me, because I understand that there's nothing I can do. If they come back, it will most likely take several years, and I won't be wasting my time waiting for that day.

 

Though I still can't understand the 180. During our relationship, there have been times when I've felt less attracted to her, and I've felt the spark with other girl's I've talked to. But if I had left her for somebody else, I can't imagine that I would completely change my personality.

 

Some of my friends actually removed her before the breakup, because they grew tired of her arrogance. She acts like she's a hollywood queen now. When we met, she seemed very mature, but now she talks a like a teenagers. Clearly, she isn't the person I fell in love with (at least not at the moment), so there's no point to keep in touch.

 

Life is so sad sometimes.

[chris21422]

Don't worry man! someone better will came along.. Just continue to Improve yourself..

 

Get the car that you always wanted.. I'm working on saving money so I can get the car that I always wanted.. (Porsche)

 

Change priorities

 

 

 

 

 

 

I feel kind of relieved actually. I know people some people are criticising the GIGS theory since it gives dumpees false hope, but reading about it has really helped me, because I understand that there's nothing I can do. If they come back, it will most likely take several years, and I won't be wasting my time waiting for that day.

 

Though I still can't understand the 180. During our relationship, there have been times when I've felt less attracted to her, and I've felt the spark with other girl's I've talked to. But if I had left her for somebody else, I can't imagine that I would completely change my personality.

 

Some of my friends actually removed her before the breakup, because they grew tired of her arrogance. She acts like she's a hollywood queen now. When we met, she seemed very mature, but now she talks a like a teenagers. Clearly, she isn't the person I fell in love with (at least not at the moment), so there's no point to keep in touch.

 

Life is so sad sometimes.

[UnknownFX]

I did that yesterday, feels like the weight I was caring lifted

[SurplusIndifference]

At first, I wanted to to show her that I'm doing fine on my own and I figured that completely ignoring her would be to show weakness. I don't want her to feel that she has that kind of power over me.

 

If you want to show her something about you, then she does have that kind of power over you.

 

You cannot show someone that they don't affect you. If you are trying to show them, then they obviously have an impact.

 

Do things for you, not for her. There is no keeping score.

[Kevin_D]

She texted me today and asked me why I blocked her. I decided to reply. I wrote something like this:

 

"I'm moving on, so it feels weird when you start chatting with me on my friends' timelines. If things had been different, friendship might had been an option, but I believe that the foundation of a solid friendship is trust, which makes it impossible. I hope you find what you're searching for."

 

I felt kind of relieved afterwards. I was honest with her, but at the same time made it clear that I'm not sitting around waiting for her. She then asked me why I couldn't trust her. I ignored this question because it was so stupid. I think this portrays the mentality of the GIGS victims very well.

 

- They prepare for the breakup for several months, but acts as if everything is fine.

- They lie and give you BS explanations such as "I need time to figure things out" and sometimes they may even put all the blame on you.

- They swear that they want to be single and that they haven't met somebody else, but yet they often enter a new relationship within a few weeks.

- They like to brag about how happy they have become and how the breakup was the best decision they've ever made.

 

And then they get angry at you for not trusting them or wanting to be their friend.

[MoooOinkBaaa]

- They prepare for the breakup for several months, but acts as if everything is fine.

 

Yep, I had no idea it was coming.

 

- They lie and give you BS explanations such as "I need time to figure things out" and sometimes they may even put all the blame on you.

 

Yep she gave me the classic "I need to find myself lie". She even said I hurt her too many times in the past, more BS.

 

- They swear that they want to be single and that they haven't met somebody else, but yet they often enter a new relationship within a few weeks.

 

Same, she said she isn't interested in sex or a relationship. Then she's posting how much she needs to get laid on Twitter and how she's in love with someone.

 

- They like to brag about how happy they have become and how the breakup was the best decision they've ever made.

 

Yep! She said she wasted 7 years of her life. Acted all happy, said this was the happiest she's been. Four months later she's miserable and annoying.

[Kevin_D]

- They prepare for the breakup for several months, but acts as if everything is fine.

 

Yep, I had no idea it was coming.

 

- They lie and give you BS explanations such as "I need time to figure things out" and sometimes they may even put all the blame on you.

 

Yep she gave me the classic "I need to find myself lie". She even said I hurt her too many times in the past, more BS.

 

- They swear that they want to be single and that they haven't met somebody else, but yet they often enter a new relationship within a few weeks.

 

Same, she said she isn't interested in sex or a relationship. Then she's posting how much she needs to get laid on Twitter and how she's in love with someone.

 

- They like to brag about how happy they have become and how the breakup was the best decision they've ever made.

 

Yep! She said she wasted 7 years of her life. Acted all happy, said this was the happiest she's been. Four months later she's miserable and annoying.

 

It's kind of spooky. We think our exes were so special, and yet they follow the exact same pattern.

 

I guess it all boils down to this:

 

We want what we can't get. When she's in a relationship and the honeymoon phase is over, she begin to miss the feeling of being madly in love. So when that cool guy starts flirting with her, she knows that she can't have him, which makes the spark even stronger.

 

She starts fantasizing about a life with this guy instead and suddenly realises that her partner is standing in the way. Even though her partner most likely just tries to make her happy, she'll subconsciously put the blame on him: "If only he had worked out more", "If only he could have dressed better", "If only he could have been more confident". This might even make her angry at the partner, and blaming him for falling in love with somebody else and hence, ruining the relationship.

 

So finally, she makes the decision to split up. She is relieved that she could do it and she's free to be with the guy she's madly in love with. She can't wait! Friends and family might not agree with her decision. So she has to prove to herself and them that she made the right choice by talking about how happy she is and how much she loves the guy.

[cavalier99]

GREAT job blocking her!!

 

CRAPPY job texting her!!

 

Block that ho's phone also. Cav

[chris21422]

Yea man you shouldn't have respond to her text. But it's already there..

 

It's better if you block her in your mobile.,

[Kevin_D]

GREAT job blocking her!!

 

CRAPPY job texting her!!

 

Block that ho's phone also. Cav

 

Why does it matter? I felt it was the right thing. Just because she is the kind of person that dumps me out of the blue without a proper explanation, doesn't mean that I have to drop to her level.

 

I blocked her because I realised that seeing her on Facebook hurts my healing process. But she needs to get her stuff back so I can't completely ignorer her.

 

I'm happy for the times we've had. She was the most wonderful person I've ever met, but sadly she did the 180. Not just with me, but with her family as well. I'm angry and disappointed, but at the same time I can understand her.

 

She grew up with a bipolar and suicidal mother. Her mother was very mean to her, but my ex couldn't really stand up for herself since she always feared that it would driver her mother to do something stupid.

 

Her chance to escape was when she met me at the age of 17 (now she's 24). Her mother eventually killed herself when the initial sadness started to go away, I started to see a change in behavior. My ex wouldn't let anyone tell her what to do anymore. If I asked her to make some coffee while I go to store, she could get very angry. I asked her about this several times and she pretty much said the same thing herself, that after her mother passed away she wouldn't let anyone tell her what to do.

 

Yes, I know that people tend to put labels on everything, but if you consider the following:

 

- Dysfunctional family

- Bipolar Disorder runs through the family

- Mother commited suicide

- LTR since she was 17 years old

- Ridiculously hot and can probably get any guy she wants, but weren't really allowed to date before we met

 

So in a way I feel sorry for her. I'm angry and disappointed, but I can somehow understand that she needs to break free for a while.

 

I realise that if she'll come back, it will take several years, so I'm not waiting for her. And I'm not going to have any contact with her, especially not while she's in GIGS (or whatever you want to call it). But I can't hate her. I want us both to remember the good times.

 

 

 

-

[Kevin_D]

I just recieved this message:

 

"The silent treatment won't make you get over me any faster".

 

Seriously, what the ****? Who the hell does she think she is? I should have changed my number after all, because I'm furious right now.

[pickflicker]

I just recieved this message:

 

"The silent treatment won't make you get over me any faster".

 

Seriously, what the ****? Who the hell does she think she is? I should have changed my number after all, because I'm furious right now.

 

Hehehe...she doesn't know much, does she? The silent treatment is the only thing proven to get someone out of your system the fastest.

[Greenj30]

Hey bro just ignore her she has no idea what she wants and shes not worth it. She doesnt want you to move on just in case she changes her mind. So just continue to ignore her I find this behavior is kinda funny and sad at the same time honestly. I pity people who have no self control over themselves and who don't try to take responsibility for there actions. Show her the consequences of her actions the consequence is life without you. You can do it take yourself back!

[Kevin_D]

Hey bro just ignore her she has no idea what she wants and shes not worth it. She doesnt want you to move on just in case she changes her mind. So just continue to ignore her I find this behavior is kinda funny and sad at the same time honestly. I pity people who have no self control over themselves and who don't try to take responsibility for there actions. Show her the consequences of her actions the consequence is life without you. You can do it take yourself back!

 

Thank you. The last week has been rough. I think it's because I've finally lost hope. Somehow this also caused me to lose some motivation. But I'll keep fighting. I have to.

[truth_seeker]

 

- They prepare for the breakup for several months, but acts as if everything is fine.

- They lie and give you BS explanations such as "I need time to figure things out" and sometimes they may even put all the blame on you.

- They swear that they want to be single and that they haven't met somebody else, but yet they often enter a new relationship within a few weeks.

- They like to brag about how happy they have become and how the breakup was the best decision they've ever made.

 

And then they get angry at you for not trusting them or wanting to be their friend.

 

This time of year, right around NYE, women are ready to move on from a relationship. They got through the holidays and now want to start the new year free and ready for someone else. Any time a woman breaks up with a guy, it means they had it planned for months in advance, unless they caught the guy cheating or lying about something that forced their hand to do it abruptly.

 

They make excuses when they break up. They do this to not feel guilty. They will have a new guy lined up before breaking up with you.

[KatZee]

I just recieved this message:

 

"The silent treatment won't make you get over me any faster".

 

Seriously, what the ****? Who the hell does she think she is? I should have changed my number after all, because I'm furious right now.

 

Maybe not. But her disgusting attitude most certainly will.

 

:sick:

 

I rarely use this word... but I'm going to drop it now. She sounds like a major cunt.

[chris21422]

change number man!

[Kevin_D]

Maybe not. But her disgusting attitude most certainly will.

 

:sick:

 

I rarely use this word... but I'm going to drop it now. She sounds like a major cunt.

 

I know. I've never seen this side of her before though, not even during the nastiest fights. Her comment reeks of grandiosity, which makes me a bit sad since it's very common among bipolar people. Hopefully it's just the GIGS high horse. Oh well.

 

Like you said, this makes things a bit easier. This attitude really turns me off.

[Emotions]

Omg she is b----.....she wants you to suffer and keep wanting her. Block her number.

[truth_seeker]

Maybe not. But her disgusting attitude most certainly will.

 

:sick:

 

I rarely use this word... but I'm going to drop it now. She sounds like a major cunt.

 

I would also say she sounds psychotic and very vindictive. I would write a note to her, preferably email, telling her to back off or you will go to the courts. Keep a copy and if she keeps after you, then you have a paper trail to show her behavior towards you.