ghoward1111 Posted December 26, 2013 Posted December 26, 2013 I could use some advice. I meet this girl and we exchanged phone numbers. We really kicked it off the first time we communicated via phone and text. We have a lot in common. She invited me over a couple of times where we watched a movie and I spent the night. I didn't kiss her or anything. Then a week later we went out with her girlfriend to a dance club. Needless to say we made out like crazy. She made the comment that it was finally good of me to kiss her since I didn't the previous two times I stayed at her house. We've also hung out one other time at her friends house for a couple of hours in which when I left I kissed her. She later sent me text messages on how handsome she thought I was. It seems though whenever I ask her to do something she always has an excuse to not actually go out on real date with me. I've talked to her about this. She has told me the holidays are tough for her because this is the time of the year that her ex proposed to her. She has asked me to be patient and that patience will get me a long way. I just don't get it. This girl texts me every morning when she wakes up, text me throught out the day, and calls me as soon as she leaves work. But I just want to see her. It's driving me up the wall because I don't get what she wants from me. She's drop dead gorgeous and I like who she is. I'm 33 and she is 23. Any advice or thoughts or questions. Just need to know some advice on what I should do. I don't want to screw this up at all but at the same time I don't want to wait forever and I don't want to be friend zoned.
shinealight Posted December 26, 2013 Posted December 26, 2013 It seems like you clearly like this girl so tell her how you feel and send her a message saying what do you want out of this a relationship ect and if you don't get your'e answer then try and move on. Good luck pal!
OrangeSnack Posted December 26, 2013 Posted December 26, 2013 (edited) I had a similar situation a year ago. Though our age (not sure if that's a factor for a lot of people) was only 2 years apart. We were both in our mid 20s and just like yours, she was drop dead gorgeous (I used that exact same word). I was very gentlemen like and I got invited to her house plenty of times. Nothing happened until one night we went out and that's where all began. (Friend's birthday and then we went to a lounge/bar afterwards). We talked a lot that night and I finally confessed to her that I liked her and that one day I would love to take her out on a "formal" date. All I remember hearing was "that's nice." LOL. Obviously I wanted to date her and I didn't want her as a #$#@ buddy. Weeks goes by, we still hang out and the discussion of dating came up again. She got REALLY upset and told me that I wasn't patient enough. I think that's when I realized she had a crazy crazy side of her that I didn't know. I've been very respectful of her and I've been patient (saw each other 3-4 days a week for 2+ months). Granted, I never took her out on any formal dates but I pretty much drove her everywhere and paid for everything. I was still crazy about this girl and I wanted more from her. Eventually one night I just told her straight up how I felt and again it didn't phase her. The whole time I was thinking to myself, did she understand a single word that came out of my mouth? We stopped talking after that night or should I say our conversations had gotten lighter and lighter and finally it all disappeared. Recently, I sent her a text. After a few banter, we decided to meet up for dinner. I found out her dad passed away from cancer and that now she is dating someone else. I emphasized about the passing of her father and I asked whether this new guy is treating her well. She said Yes. Afterwards, we went out separate ways. I did ask her that if I were patient with her would I have gotten her heart. She said she wasn't sure because she felt that when she needed me the most I wasn't there and that the other guy was there for her every weekend (he drove from northern cali to LA just to see her every weekend and he would take her grocery shopping and etc etc). Me on the other hand I hung out with her on the weekends after work and I had a busy work life (I travel a lot for work). The moral of the story: women are weird and I still cannot figure them out. Maybe I was too pushy for her. Maybe I should have been that other guy. It sounded like she wanted a guy that could take care of her not just financially but emotionally too. I guess I screwed up on that part because she felt that because I traveled a lot for work, I won't be able to support her emotionally and that the whole time we hung out, she was "testing" me. But I asked her how do you even know I can't support you emotionally when I wasn't given the chance? She said she just knew... But who knows what she really wanted. It was a great experience for myself nonetheless. The way I see it is that you both have to be on the same page. Think of relationships as a sail boat. You both have to paddle in the right direction in order for the ship to move fast. And I think every girl is different because I have told this story to many of my friends that are girls and they all gave me different opinions. If I were in your shoes, if she is telling me to be patient then I will respect her demands. But I wouldn't want to lose any contact because if I did, then she will become less and less interested in me. But at the same time, dont put all your eggs in one basket. Go date around and find someone else. I regret that when I met Kate, I had all my eggs in her basket. When we stopped talking I was really sad for a few weeks. Now I am seeing multiple people because I learned so much about myself in my past relationships/dating. Good luck and update us on how things go with your gal Edited December 26, 2013 by OrangeSnack
truth_seeker Posted December 26, 2013 Posted December 26, 2013 The moral of the story: women are weird and I still cannot figure them out. Maybe I was too pushy for her. Maybe I should have been that other guy. It sounded like she wanted a guy that could take care of her not just financially but emotionally too. I guess I screwed up on that part because she felt that because I traveled a lot for work, I won't be able to support her emotionally and that the whole time we hung out, she was "testing" me. But I asked her how do you even know I can't support you emotionally when I wasn't given the chance? She said she just knew... But who knows what she really wanted. It was a great experience for myself nonetheless. Your girl was crazy and used you until she found someone else to use. She will do it again and again and again....
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