ThumbingMyWay Posted January 5, 2005 Posted January 5, 2005 There are so many of you that are or were in my same situ...and without having to track all you down in the numerous threads we have....I thought I would start a thread were we can keep up with things// Cant remember everyone...but to: Owl, Sweets, Soon2bsngl, joyce, mom-wife cheater, dazed, bryanp, pragmatic, sylivagaurdian....and anyone else i forgot.... and to the ones how helped us like: ladyjane, lama, jgarmel, moose, TMCM, whichwayisup, and others I cant remember... Just wanted to say hello and thanks for all your help. This LS site has helped me, so much I cant explain.....all of you are great people and I am glad i got to know some of you....thank you. As for me....all i can say, is things are better, alot better. I am finaly tapping into my authetic self and my wife is really making an effort to do the right thing....I am a changed person after all of this....and it feels great... there is peace at the the end of this emotional journey.....hang in there, you will get it too....
midori Posted January 5, 2005 Posted January 5, 2005 Hi Thumbingmyway, I'm so glad that you find the site to be helpful. If you would like to communicate your thanks to particular individuals, you can do so by sending them private messages. If you'd like to start a more general conversation about your experience on LoveShack.org, The Water Cooler is the right forum for that (I'm going to move this thread to the General Relationship forum, fyi). If you haven't had a moment to read through our guidelines, please take a moment to do so: http://www.loveshack.org/forums/guidelines. We ask all members to keep threads focused and on-topic. Threads that wander through several different stories, and/or have lots of personal exchanges/greetings between specific members, and/or divert from the original topic are difficult to read and eventually become impenetrable for new readers. I'm pleased to hear that you're in a better place these days, and doing well with your wife. I'm sure that other members will be pleased to read your post too, and if they have news they'd like to share, they will start their own discussion threads. Best, midori
Ladyjane14 Posted January 6, 2005 Posted January 6, 2005 I'm glad everything is going so well for you Thumb. It's amazing what can happen when you breathe new life into an old relationship. It becomes something so much more than what you could even imagine. There's comfort in it, but there's also excitement. It becomes a whole new world........again. I wish everyone could experience that. It's what keeps me reading and posting here. And I learn something new everyday.
Author ThumbingMyWay Posted January 6, 2005 Author Posted January 6, 2005 Thanks Lady J.... I was just wanting to give eva body and big thanks.... but I guess my approach was wrong...but IMHO, almost every thread on here wanders at some point.... anyways......life is good
pragmatic Posted January 6, 2005 Posted January 6, 2005 Hello all; Though I have posted only a handful of times, I check in every day throughout the day to see how you all are doing. I feel like I know so many of you, and have actually sat here with blurry eyes reading some of the posts and feeling your pain through the monitor. I also find myself laughing at loud at some of the posts, every other emotion in between. I am also amazed and comforted by how some of you seem to chime in with support and advice to each other at just the right time. For instance, I was reading 25yroldwife's "please help..." thread and thinking to myself, "she needs to read Sweetz' story, and lo and behold, Sweetz posted (as always, with eloquence and clarity.) TMW, I am glad that you & the Mrs. are doing well. She is very fortunate to have you in her life, and I am happy for you that she realizes that. Keep working on the things that you can control (self), and she will continue to appreciate you. Me & Mrs. pragmatic are doing well. Our marriage feels like a partnership in every sense of the word, and we are both trying very hard to meet each other's EN's. I did overhear her on the telephone with a friend making a joke about the "love bank" concept, but other than that she has been great. I am still concerned about some of the women she associates with; very few of them are what anyone would call a good influence (all miserable, and you know what they say about misery...), but knowing that my bride agrees with my assessment helps me cope. That's it for now - I'm looking toward the future with all of the hope and enthusiasm I can muster, and busting my a.s.s. to see it through, and I'm praying for the same for all of you.
Ladyjane14 Posted January 7, 2005 Posted January 7, 2005 Originally posted by pragmatic I am still concerned about some of the women she associates with; very few of them are what anyone would call a good influence (all miserable, and you know what they say about misery...), but knowing that my bride agrees with my assessment helps me cope. Hopefully, she's feeling very superior to all her friends...having found that she is lucky in love.
pragmatic Posted January 7, 2005 Posted January 7, 2005 Originally posted by Ladyjane14 very superior to all her friends... Hi Ladyjane, I don't know about superior, but perhaps somewhat leary of their advice & their take on things. My bride's fling occurred when she was at the beach with several girlfriends, all of whom were either divorced or desperately unhappy in their marriages. I'm not blaming them for my wife's bad behavior, but I'm sure their comments didn't inspire any feelings of loyalty to me or our kids. Happily, she no longer tries to identify with their situations, and in one instance, has actually tried to help one of the girls to reconnect with her husband, based on things that we have been doing together.
Author ThumbingMyWay Posted January 7, 2005 Author Posted January 7, 2005 Prag... good to hear you doing well too..... Love Bank......I just got done reading Dr Harleys book...."His Needs, Her Needs". you both should read it. I also just picked up a new book. Wife and I are both going to read it. auther is Hendrix...book called "Consious Loving". Read the first few pages.....it will be an emence help...I suggest you look into both books and urge your wife to read them too. And I know what you mean about the "friends". My wife has the same thing....BUT she has consciously choosen and understood my feelings towards these people. She finaly agrees that their situs are detrimental to the goal of our relationship. She has distanced herself from some of them....there is still one good friend though....but she knows how I feel...so she trys to include me when they go out. There are brighter days ahead....it DOES get better.
pragmatic Posted January 7, 2005 Posted January 7, 2005 My favorite marriage book is Harley's "Fall in love, stay in love". It touches on the concepts of "HN,HN", and also "Love Busters". I am like an evangelist, spreading Harley's concepts to my friends. I even found out that our minister uses Harley's principles. My bride and I have looked at the questionnaires together, and it was a lot of fun. My other favorite is Zig Ziglar's "Courtship After Marriage". I have always found his enthusiasm for any subject to be contagious, and this book is no exception. Another book that I own is "I know you love me, but do you like me?". I can't remember the author's name, but that one is about keeping the fun and connection in your marriage. John Gray is very insightful, as well, in his Mars/Venus series. We are currently reading "Mars/Venus in the Bedroom". When we are done, I am going to suggest you and Mrs. TMW's 30 straight days...
Author ThumbingMyWay Posted January 7, 2005 Author Posted January 7, 2005 Originally posted by pragmatic When we are done, I am going to suggest you and Mrs. TMW's 30 straight days... hahahahaha...we made it 2 days. But will continue tonight!....so I guess 2 days on, 2 days off aint bad.... another book for spicing up the marriage bedroom...is "Hot Monogamy".....I hear its really good
DazednConfused Posted January 7, 2005 Posted January 7, 2005 TMW- I am sorry i have not been around much of late, but I have followed your progress on a regular basis. I am so incredibly pleased with your progress over the last months. thank you for the ever-encouraging and hopeful words. Keep it up and keep us posted on how it's all going, many of us continually need the positive reinforcement of hearing about success. Thanks again! -Dazed
sylviaguardian Posted January 11, 2005 Posted January 11, 2005 Hi thumbs, Am so glad to hear that things are going well for you, for your own sake and also because it gives hope to people like me. My h and I had a wonderful holiday together but now he's back to work, I am not in such a good place. But that's another story for another time. It really gives me hope that both you and Joyce seem to have been able to put the past behind you and build it into something stronger. I will pick both your brains at some point for advice! Sylvia
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