truth_seeker Posted December 27, 2013 Posted December 27, 2013 And this is why we are all f*cked!!!! What's scary is how people can pretend they are happy, show affection and it's all fake. I can see why people prefer options over being committed to someone. 1
Els Posted December 27, 2013 Posted December 27, 2013 Nah. Most of my friends married after 3-11 years together (although those on the further end of the spectrum were highschool sweethearts). You can probably expect it to happen sooner as you get older, but there are way too many factors involved to make a blanket statement like that. 1
Eau Claire Posted December 27, 2013 Posted December 27, 2013 true.... if i am dating someone for more then 2 years and havent given them a ring... i would be buying time to find someone else even "good" moms tell their daughters to bail after 2 years if theres no ring in their early mid 20s Huh? I'm a good mom and I prefer that my daughter doesn't marry before 30. Where do all these good moms live? Utah? 2
CptSaveAho Posted December 27, 2013 Posted December 27, 2013 By 30, the music stops playing and there will be no more "seats"
Els Posted December 27, 2013 Posted December 27, 2013 Where do all these good moms live? Probably only in the wet dreams of the poster you quoted. 1
Phantom888 Posted December 27, 2013 Posted December 27, 2013 If a woman just stops and listens to the truth, there would be no confusion. Men put out many hints to show that they are not willing to commit to you. They have no problems with commitment itself. They just haven't found someone they want to stay with. They will fake affection, or even tell you what you want to hear. But as soon as they meet that special someone, they will leave you immediately. So listen for the hints, and don't be in denial. 3
mtnbiker3000 Posted December 27, 2013 Posted December 27, 2013 If a woman just stops and listens to the truth, there would be no confusion. Men put out many hints to show that they are not willing to commit to you. They have no problems with commitment itself. They just haven't found someone they want to stay with. They will fake affection, or even tell you what you want to hear. But as soon as they meet that special someone, they will leave you immediately. So listen for the hints, and don't be in denial. Women do this too!!! 5
Mrlonelyone Posted December 27, 2013 Posted December 27, 2013 It depends on the quality of the dating. Have you just been hanging out sharing shallow affection and sex but not really getting to know eachother. At best a roomate with benefits... Then after two years you may not know eachother. In such a situation it is doubtful that you ever would be serious. If you have been dating really seriously and getting to know eachothers families, friends, histories, and being really emotionally intimate, then two years pass with no talk of the future then it's not going to happen. After a year or two or three there should be some talk of the future if not marriage plans. 1
RogerWallace111 Posted December 27, 2013 Posted December 27, 2013 False. I'm not marrying anyone for at least 6 or 7 years but maybe I'll meet "the one" tomorrow, still wouldn't propose until I have my career set and ready to do the family thing. Not sure how many years it will equate to but I'm of the same ilk. In my one serious relationship, my girlfriend made it pretty clear after 1 or 2 years that she wanted to me to marry her. It wasn't her that made that an impossibility- it was the fact that I was just beginning to ascertain the path I wanted to go down life/career-wise and I knew that figuring that out in the context of a deeply-committed relationship would hinder it. As much as in one sense I desperately wanted to tie her down, I knew I hadn't yet "found myself" and my life's task, and I had to do that alone. As far as OP's original question- false of course, but I'd say if after a year one should be able to determine whether they could "see themselves" married to their gf/bf. Beyond that there's still plenty of reasons it might not be wise though. I could have seen myself married to my aforementioned ex but it wasn't enough. Anyone with this idea that "if he really wants you he'll move mountains, sacrifice everything, and do it as soon as possible" is off-point. In my experience, the most desirable, interesting partners are the ones who aren't gonna rush into things and aren't willing to sacrifice their own human potential for the comfort of a relationship.
Eggplant Posted December 27, 2013 Posted December 27, 2013 I disagree. That's not enough time. I didn't see that my ex was insane until 2 years in. I think that's too fast to make a lifelong decision.You were teenagers, though. Of course it's not enough time when you're 19.
Eggplant Posted December 27, 2013 Posted December 27, 2013 In my case, after 2 years it'd be unlikely. I wouldn't stay exclusive that long.
ktya Posted December 28, 2013 Posted December 28, 2013 true or false Dead to rights false. I met a girl 7 years younger than me a long time ago. Given the age difference i stayed with her for 7 years before proposing. That was after i caught her having an affair with my friend and forgave her. I was crazy about her, and could think of being with nobody else. It didnt work out in the end, but i dont think that the length of time for the proposal had much to do with it. I would have worked through anything to get that wedding and have that dream.
Keenly Posted December 28, 2013 Posted December 28, 2013 You were teenagers, though. Of course it's not enough time when you're 19. I was 23. Not a teenager.
RonaldS Posted December 28, 2013 Posted December 28, 2013 My wife and I were together for almost 6 years before we got married.
Imsojdm Posted December 28, 2013 Posted December 28, 2013 False Many factors to take in 2years a short amount of IMO
ktya Posted December 28, 2013 Posted December 28, 2013 Unfortunately, a lot of men, many of whom have already been married before and know exactly what they want, tend to lead a woman on by being unsure. These men are selfish, and can't commit. They want to enjoy the benefits of dating without the responsibilities of a committed relationship. They can't stand being alone, so they would rather have the woman wait pointlessly. I disagree. I am in my late 30s and did serial monogamy with full committement for 17 years trying to shoot for the white picket fence. I'm no committment phobe. However after all that time of serious relationships I'm in a mode now where I just want to casually date, with no committment at all. Lets just say I'm burned right out of committment and compromise; I want to keep it fun and light hearted minus the nagging and heavy expectations. That said, I'm quite honest about it. I'm not about to lead a woman on into thinking there's a ring around the corner. If I am dating someone super special that gives me that magic, I'll have to discuss it with her to see if she'd like to take it up a level, because she would have entered into dating with me under the auspices that I'm not looking for marriage. Different people want different things. Not all girls want a ring and kids, some are in the same boat as me. Its just a matter of ensuring that you both are looking for the same thing.
mortensorchid Posted December 29, 2013 Posted December 29, 2013 Dicey. There is something about the year and a half/two year marker that SOMETHING happens, to be sure. At this point, if you have been happy for the majority of the time, there is something about that point where one party realizes that they are in it for the long haul. It's time to s*** or get off the pot, as they say. And sometimes people will either end it, or they will decide that they are, in fact, in it for the long haul and decide to stay. After that year and a half/two year marker, if they decide to stay, then ... Well, hard to say what will or won't happen after that. My sister was with a guy for six years, I don't know what did or didn't happen during their relationship. When it came to a point where she was going to move to another city for a job, after six years he said he wasn't coming with nor was he going to ask her to marry him. He just didn't want to uproot and leave it all behind for her, and he said he wasn't going to commit to it. Sad. And yet, I know just as many insane people who have known each other for six weeks and get married or move in together, or who leave someone after years together and then rebound to the next one barely a year later too. All I can say is that a lot of people make bad choices. It's a delicate balance, to be sure. But that year and a half/two year marker is an acid test, no question. 1
nomadic_butterfly Posted December 29, 2013 Posted December 29, 2013 (edited) true or false LOL the never part is what made it false; probably sounds a lil bit more like it but depends on the variables. If both parties are mentally, physically, emotionally and financially stable/secure and at least in mid-late twenties, then usually very few reasons to not propose within two years. People who are set and settled are usually more likely to know what they want. If everything else seems to be in place and he is dragging his feet after 2 yrs, chances are he is still waiting on the right person and killing time with you. My ex is doing this now with his current gf (we're good friends still). He has a house, car, great career and they've been together 3 1/2 yrs AND they live together. He told her "he's not the marrying type" when really he doesn't see himself married to her but he's a serial monogamist (who happened to cheat numerous times on her and the girl b4 her). I called him out on his shet and said BS, you just don't see yourself married to her and he concurred. Poor girl like many women probably thinks since she forgave him, lives with him, and continues to "love him enough" he will see the light and change his mind He also would not have kids out of wedlock either as he usually doesn't want any binding ties to a "baby mama." I only date marriage minded men now. I find the honest and genuine kind are decisive and can tell within year 1 if he sees you as his wife or not, then take action on it in the subsequent yr. It's easier for a man to find a woman willing to marry than the reverse so it's a less challenging feat for men GENERALLY SPEAKING. Edited December 29, 2013 by nomadic_butterfly 1
MissBee Posted December 31, 2013 Posted December 31, 2013 It isn't true. But as others have said, depending on your age, 2 years is at least enough time to know if you can see a future with someone. For me personally, if we're in a committed relationship for 2 years we must have discussed the future, what we want from each other and marriage. Heck, I am not even gonna be with you a year without having these kinds of talks. Marriage for me isn't something a man bestows upon you and a proposal shouldn't be some out of the blue shock, in the sense that you never discussed marriage before, he just popped up with a ring. 2 years into a relationship, we would have discussed this seriously and I would know where we stand. That's what's important to me. I don't need to get a proposal at year 2 but by 3-4 years in, yes I would expect it as I wouldn't be with you for so long if we hadn't previously discussed being on the same page.
Badsingularity Posted December 31, 2013 Posted December 31, 2013 (edited) most men are this selfish and exploitative that they would do this given the opportunity. lol:bunny: Wife and I married after 5 years together and happily so. Edited December 31, 2013 by Badsingularity
furby19 Posted December 31, 2013 Posted December 31, 2013 This is true, for the first two years I wanted to marry my GF but now for some reason I can't see myself with her and we are 4 years in so IDK I'm stuck. Either she changed or either you changed. It happens.......talk to her about it. Hopefully it gets better. If not, move on!!
BrandonMarshall Posted December 31, 2013 Posted December 31, 2013 true or false oh God FALSE. getting married in 2 years or less is absolutely stupid.
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